Secrets
by Passionate Cec
Summary: A mysterious woman arrives at the SGC and makes for a very surprising and interesting night for Sam. But, more than that, she gets more than she ever expected from life.
1. Chapter 1

Hello.

This falls under the "Di-Bee made me do it" category. She actually made a typo which lead me to believe she wanted a Sam/Helen fic when she actually wanted a "James/John fic with Helen on top, or Sam." And instead she typed "Helen on top of Sam." Which made me think writing a Sam/Helen fic would be a good idea. There was much begging and demanding and ordering involved.

And then I wrote this. She's called me evil repeatedly while reading this. Which is nothing new since she calls me that at least once a day...

Anyway. Second femslash ever. Second highest rated fic ever.

I hope you'll like it and will let me know what you think. I crave review and would really love if you gave me your opinion on this.

Stargate SG-1, Sanctuary and their respective characters don't belong to me. I make no money with this story. Its sole purpose is entertainment. No copyright infringement intended.

Enjoy. :)

**Secrets**

Sam had no idea what she was doing here and why she was doing what she was doing. Well, the here wasn't quite what bothered her as she was in her own bed, in her own room, in her own house. It was more who she was with and what they were doing that set her brain whirling with thoughts and questions.

She had never even been attracted to women. Certainly, she had found some cute, pretty, good looking, beautiful, sometimes even flat out hot but never had she been sexually attracted to any of them. And never had she been aroused by a beautiful woman. And yet, here she was, lying flat on her back with one very hot woman resting on top of her, kissing her way down her throat and chest and said woman's very deft fingers working their magic on her.

Never had she been quite as aroused as she was at the moment as her foot traced up the brunette's leg and settled around her waist to tug her that much closer. The fingers hit a magical spot and Sam gasped, arching against the woman, scrunching up her nose a little bit when she felt her breasts come in contact with hers where she would usually have expected a flat and muscular chest.

'This is the first time you're doing this, isn't it?' The British accent slurred in her ear, the hot and wet tongue, slipping around Sam's earlobe before she sucked on it and nibbled at it. Sam's hands were flat on her back as if she were stealing herself while holding her woman pressed firmly against her.

'What? Have sex before I even went on a date? Have sex with a woman?'

'Either really but I was mainly asking about the latter.'

'No and yes.' That seemed to startle her and she froze for an instant, and Sam could not stop rocking her hips against the suddenly immobile fingers inside her.

'Really?' Two blues eyes were suddenly looking straight at her, pinning her to the mattress despite the slight hint of surprise Sam could detect on her face.

'Well, until this morning I thought I was perfectly straight.' The surprise turned into a half playful glare and Sam found she did not ever want to be on the receiving end of the real thing.

'You know what I mean, young lady.'

'Young lady? You can't be more than a couple of years older than me.' Sam argued.

And suddenly, there was a playful twinkle in the blue orbs that she remembered had been one of the features that lured her into the trap that was the British brunette. And before she could think, she found herself leaning in and pressing her lips to hers, her tongue not waiting an instant to push into her mouth and resuming the fiery dance they had started much earlier that night. She nibbled at her lower lip before pulling back with a grin.

'Oh if only you knew.' Sam frowned but did not have time to ask any further questions. 'Now, darling, you were telling me about my not being the first person you shag before even going on a date.'

Sam chuckled and shook her head, gasping when the fingers finally starting moving again sending sparks of pleasure through her body and short-circuiting her brain for a few long moments during which she found herself completely incapable of any coherent thought. And it seemed to satisfy Doctor Helen Magnus very much.

The woman had made a sudden and unexpected appearance in one of their briefings when they talked about a civilization they were considering trading with. She had come in confident and walked around the room as if she belonged there. And no one had dared challenge her. General Hammond had, apparently, asked her to come and offer her knowledge. How Sam had come to be the one to have coffee in the mess with her when discussing the myth and legends that accompanied some of the creatures on that village would usually have been Daniel's area, she didn't quite know.

But she figured she had subconsciously been craving the presence of another woman with whom to talk and so she had latched on at the first occasion she got. Or maybe it was the fact that everyone on the base had been looking back and forth between the two of them as if to confirm they were not hallucinating and imagining her as a brunette. It hadn't slipped her notice that the newcomer bore a significant resemblance to her but she had tried to shake the thought away. She was smart. She knew she was good looking, some would even say beautiful or hot. But she didn't have anything on the hot brunette and maybe that had drawn her in too.

But whatever the reason, there they were, a good few hours later, naked and sweaty in her bed, the sheets already tangled on the floor. And there was nowhere else she would rather be. Helen was bringing her to new planes of pleasure that she had never suspected existed. It was obvious Helen had had previous experience with women and she knew the woman body quite well. It was clear there was much to be said about knowing what touch felt good and how to pull the right triggers.

'I'm waiting, dear.' She breathed, doing _something_ with her fingers that made Sam moan in pleasure. And if she were being honest, she may even have whimpered as she repeated the motion, her tongue tracing down Sam's neck, her teeth nibbling the wet skin she had just tasted. .

'Oh God.' Sam moaned, her nails digging into Magnus' back before her right hand started trailing down her side. 'I work fourteen-hour days, six days a week on a good week. A girl's gotta to take the edge off one way or another and there's a point at which fingers and toys don't cut it anymore.' She felt the vibrations through her body as Helen chuckled.

'Understandable. So how many one night stands have you had?'

'Uh. Three. I think.' That seemed to startle her again and she interrupted the wonderful thing her tongue and teeth were doing on her right nipple to look up at her. Though, thankfully, the fingers continued their pleasurable exploration.

'You're what? Thirty-five?'

'Thirty-six.'

'Alright, let's admit you've been sexually active for twenty-years. Three one night stands in twenty years? Either you've been in a committed relationship for a long time or you have incredible self control.'

Sam laughed, throwing her head back against the pillow. Such brutal honesty was not what one expected from a Britton but she liked it and she had to fight the desire to get to know more about the mysterious and enigmatic lady. She felt a feather light kiss being pressed to her solar plexus and found herself melting under the warm, delicate and yet arousing touch. It felt like such an intimate and affectionate gesture and she didn't think she could remember any man – whether one night stand or not – ever being as gentle and loving to her. She smiled down as the blue pools looked straight up at her.

'Even sex takes time of which I don't have much. I guess I've always been too busy to really worry about personal life.' She admitted.

'Now, now, darling, this is not the time to dwell on regrets and past mistakes.' Helen breathed.

Her fingers resumed their magic as she kissed her way back up to Sam's lips to kiss her firmly before tangling her fingers with the hand at her side and moving it downwards to teach Sam exactly what to do. Sam trailed her hand up and down Helen's back, alternating between delicate, feather light brushes and playful, teasing scratches. She could feel the shivers running through the woman's body and pushed Helen's hand off hers, deciding she had been taught enough to do things on her own. Her leg tightened around Magnus' waist and, in one strong, powerful and certain move, flipped them until she was the one on top.

'Don't you go thinking this is all your show just because I'm a newbie.' She whispered huskily against the brunette's grinning lips. 'This is as much my show as it is yours.'

'I wouldn't expect any less.'

And after that, no more coherent words were spoken. There were moans as fingers touched a particularly enjoyable spot, gasps when lips brushed a sensitive place and teeth nibbled at it. It didn't take Sam long before she decided she could give up on being with a man if she could have this woman in her bed forever. Surely she was good enough to keep her happy in bed and enough of an enigma to keep her on her toes out of bed. And she was positive that Helen Magnus was picky enough and hot enough that she would not settle for less than she thought she deserved. So Sam decided the fact that they are in her bed together, bringing each other to peaks of pleasure she had not thought she could reach before, had got to mean something.

She grinned as she felt Helen start writhing under her. So maybe she was any good after all, though the thought was pushed to the back of her mind as Helen put all her energy to the task at hand – quite literally – and made her forget how to think straight. Before she knew it, she was flat on her back again and every single part of her body was alive with touches from the woman on top of her. It wasn't long before they were both writhing in pleasure and Sam felt herself fall over the edge, making sure she took the brunette with her.

A while later, they were both lying on the bed, still sweaty and breathing somewhat heavily. Sam had stood up to pull up the sheets and had curled herself against Helen's body, her arm around her waist her and their legs tangled. She ran her left foot up and down her shin as Helen caressed her back, her moves slow and delicate, her fingers barely brushing her skin, sending shivers through her body. She gave a low moan and tucked herself further against the warm body. They were silent for a long time, simply enjoying the affectionate touches and sensual caresses.

Once again, Sam found herself wishing she could know more about Helen. It couldn't be love. She barely knew the woman. Hell, she didn't know anything about her save for her name and the fact that she knew weird creatures that weren't supposed to exist on Earth. So she supposed it was mostly out of curiosity and a certain feeling that they would have a lot to talk about and would be much more alike than anyone could have suspected.

Helen Magnus was enigmatic. There was no doubt about that. And Sam really wanted to know what it was all about. There was a strength and confidence about her that she had never seen in a woman before. Not without them sounding condescending and disdainful. But there was a softness about her that Sam didn't think many people knew about. Her touches were gentle and sweet, soft and comforting. It made her wonder about the woman's history and what had made her who she was.

'So what's your big secret?' She asked quietly, unable to hold back the words. And for some reason, she felt that Helen Magnus would let her in.

'My big secret? I have quite a few.'

'I don't doubt that. One of them, then.'

'I am one hundred and fifty three years old.' Sam looked up at her face from her spot on her shoulder. Her hand froze for an instant on her hip before resuming her motion and caressing the soft skin of Helen's side.

'Not bad. You don't look the part.' She simply commented, settling back down. Helen chuckled.

'You don't sound impressed.'

'Teal'c is just a few years younger than you are and my father is host to a two thousand year old parasitic intelligent life form. And that's only a small portion of my life. I guess after doing this job for seven years, you get immune to some things."

'I can relate to that. Just make sure you do not ever take anything for granted. Now, Samantha Carter what is _your_ big secret?'

'Save for the SGC, you mean?'

'Obviously.'

'Alright. Let me think. I'm in love with my Commanding Officer.'

'Colonel O'Neill?' Sam nodded. 'You have very good taste. And you've never done anything about it?'

'Not when it counted.' Sam cryptically offered.

'As I said, incredible self control. Just don't let life pass you by or before you know it your entire life will have gone by and you will always have been lonely because you were not willing to break the rules.'

'Speaking from experience?'

'In a way. Now, sleep, Samantha. I'll be gone by the time you wake up.'

'You won't be leaving a phone number, will you?'

'I will if you'd like me to. That way you can call me once you have gotten your act together with your Colonel. I can see you mean as much to him as he means to you.' Sam chuckled and pressed her face against Helen's neck, dropping a few kisses on her skin.

'Please do, then.'

'Very well. Get some sleep, darling.' Was the last thing Sam heard along with the feel of soft lips brushing her forehead.

When she got up in the morning, she was, indeed, alone in her bed and she briefly wondered if she had dreamed everything. But her sheets were a mess and her clothes were still strewn over the floor. She could even smell the scent of her shower gel coming from the bathroom. She pushed to her feet and walked out of her bedroom and towards the living room. She froze suddenly as she stepped into the room. She shot the object a from before a bright smile tugged at her lips and she walked towards the kitchen island. There was a cup of tea sitting there. It was still hot so had obviously been prepared recently. With a surge of hope, Sam looked around the room as if there was a chance Helen was still there. But, as expected, she was alone. She grabbed her favorite mug and breathed in the smell of tea, taking one long sip and closing her eyes, remembering the night she had just spent.

She opened her eyes again and was about to set the cup back down but she noticed something resting on the counter, where the cup had just sat. She picked up the piece of paper and unfolded it. It was a phone number with a short note which made Sam grin brightly again.

_Reach for the Stars, darling. Call me if you are in Old City. H.M._


	2. Chapter 2

Oh, my! Will I ever stop writing one shots and then writing sequels? Seems to be my MO… Anyway. Here's a second chapter which is quite long. But I did not feel like cutting it. The effect would have been lessened and I would have found it sad.

I started writing this and was way into the story when I realized I was having so major timeline issues between Stargate and Sanctuary. Tried to arrange it a bit but I'm still not all too happy about this timeline thing. You can ask Di-Bee… poor (and bloody amazing!) girl was on the receiving end of my venting about how unhappy I was about it.

Please don't forget to leave me a little something on your way out. Let me know what you thought about this. :D

Enjoy. :)

Chapter 2

Sam startled as she heard a man answer the phone. She briefly pulled the phone away from her ear and made sure she had dialed the right number. Never had anyone but the woman she was calling answered the phone and, since she had the right number, she was surprised the man had even dared touch the device.

'Hello?' She heard as she put the cellular back to her ear. 'Hello? Anyone there?'

'Yes. I'm sorry. I'm looking for Helen Magnus. Do I have the right number?' She said, her voice sounding stronger than she had expected.

She was leaning against the hood of the rental car, cell phone to her ear, the cherished paper note in her hand. She had not realized until she had stepped out of her car after having entered Old City that her grabbing the piece of paper before she left for Seattle with her team should have seemed odd. Along with her asking General Landry if she was needed at the base during the weekend or if she could take Friday off, stay behind and come back on Monday morning. It had taken quite a bit of convincing to get him to accept that nothing was wrong with her and that there was just someone she wanted to see who lived nearby.

Daniel, Teal'c, Cam and Vala had reluctantly left her behind, shooting her worried looks, asking her if she was alright. She suspected the fact that she refused to tell them more about the person she was seeing than "someone I am very close to" didn't help but, eventually, they had stepped into the car and left her alone with her Air Force duffel bag. She had stepped into the rental agency and had quickly been on her way to Old City, smiling at the fact that she would get to see where Helen lived.

'Yes, you do. This is her phone but she's busy right now. Who's asking?' The man continued and Sam realized she had drifted off. She hoped he hadn't said anything else while she was lost in thoughts and contemplations.

'Samantha Carter.'

'Okay. Is she expecting you?'

'Not at all.'

'Well, I'm not her secretary but would you like to leave a message?' Sam chuckled at the humour in his voice.

'No. Just tell her I called and that I'll be in town for a couple of days. She knows on which number to call me.'

'Samantha Carter, you say?'

'That's right.'

'Okay, I'll go tell her.'

'Thanks. Bye.'

Sam hung up and frowned. She had not considered the possibility that she would have to wait before talking to Helen and she had not considered what she would do if that were the case. So she sat in the car and drove around for a bit, noticing the beautiful church that seemed to be at the heart of Old City. She parked a few streets away and walked through the town, making a point of walking by the church. She was disappointed to notice that the walls were high and thick and that the gates were all closed. Clearly the church no longer served a religious purpose and had been bought. Still, she couldn't help but admire the building through the gate and wished she could visit it.

She was startled out of her admiration when her cell phone rang in her pocket. She grabbed it and picked up.

'Hello?'

'Samantha.'

Sam grinned and felt herself relax instantly. Unsurprisingly, the woman still had the ability to calm her in an instant, without even saying anything that mattered. The accent was as charming as ever and the voice as seductive as she remembered. And she probably wasn't imagining the light and happy tone in her voice indicating that Magnus really was pleased to hear from her.

'Helen.' She greeted back. 'It's been a while.'

'Indeed it has. I have to admit, I did not expect to hear from you. I am usually the one who is down in Colorado Springs.'

'Disappointed?' Sam teased. She heard Helen chuckle and couldn't help but laugh herself.

'Quite on the contrary, my dear. I could not get out of my meeting quickly enough when Will told me you had called. I'm sorry he did not invite you to come here immediately but you know our work is extremely private and he was right not to risk a perfect stranger waltzing in.' Sam breathed in as she leaned back against one of the church's outside walls.

'I understand.'

'I hope you have not been waiting too long.'

'No, it's all right. I'm just walking around a bit. It's a beautiful town.'

'It is quite lovely. How would you like a cup of tea?'

'I'd love to.' Sam answered with a bright grin.

'Great. Have you noticed a church while walking around?' Helen asked and Sam frowned a bit.

'Of course. I'm actually standing right in front of it.'

'You are?'

'Yes. I thought I would go in. It must be beautiful inside. But everything is airtight. It's almost as safe as the base.' There was a brief pause and Sam thought she might have lost the connection but before she could check, Helen confirmed she was still there.

'Well, my dear, you are about to be treated to a special visit.'

'What?'

'I will be at the main entrance in just a few minutes.' Helen answered.

Sam didn't have time to ask anymore question before Magnus hung up. Although the fact that the woman had hung up was even more startling than what she had actually said. She looked at the phone before looking back up and the gate next to which she was standing. It looked like the main entrance so she suspected she was at the right place. She looked around but did not see Helen in the street. Cars were passing by and there were a few people walking but none of them paid attention to the impressive building. She almost jumped out of her skin when she heard her name being called behind her. She whirled around, her eyebrows shooting up.

'What on-' She breathed, watching Helen open the gate. She stood stunned for a few long moments, watching with confusion as the grin grew brighter and brighter on Helen's face.

'Well? I thought you had come to see me.' Helen teased and Sam recognized the twinkle in her eye. But she was not able to acknowledge it. She was still too baffled by her new discovery.

'Uh, yes.' She shook herself out of her surprise and looked at Helen with a bright smile. 'I'm sorry.' She said as she stepped up to the smartly dressed woman.

'It's quite alright. I'm glad I have found something that impresses you. I was starting to lose hope.' She closed the gate behind Sam, giving her time to take in the new surroundings. Sam felt a hand on the small of her back and turned to grin at Helen again. She enjoyed the warmth of Helen's hand on her back and allowed her to guide her towards the massive building.

'So this is where you live?' She asked.

'It is.'

'Wow.' Helen chuckled and Sam bit her lower lip, looking up at her sheepishly. 'I'm sorry. I really am here to see you. And I'm happy to see you but I'm a little bit impressed.'

'It's quite alright. I'll make sure to divert your attention from my house.' Sam grinned.

'That a promise?'

'Absolutely.' Helen answered immediately, smiling right back at her.

'Great.'

'However, before I have my way with you, I feel I need to warn you. Most people I live with can become very overwhelming, very quickly. Especially with special visitors who ask for me in person.'

'Okay. Any tips?'

'Keep the mystery.' She advised.

'Will do.'

Sam shot the building one last look before following Helen into the – huge and impressive – entry hall. Helen's hand trailed upwards and Sam felt a shiver course through her body. She tried hard to keep her mind in check when the woman divested her of her jacket and set it on a nearby coat hanger.

She bit her lip again and hesitated a bit. Certainly, she knew why she was here and both Helen and she had acknowledged what would be happening and what they would be doing. But how was she supposed to act until then? Did Helen expect her to kiss her right then and there or did she plan or bringing her somewhere private before they did anything? Given the advice she had just received, she suspected she should wait. Still, she was about to grab Helen's hand and give it a light squeeze when she heard voices and approaching footsteps. She followed Helen's gaze over her shoulder, seeing two men approaching.

Her first thought was that, apparently, Helen liked her men scruffy haired. Both men's hair was pointing in every imaginable direction and she found herself thinking of Jack whose hair had the nasty habit of doing the same thing. Not that he had ever minded.

'Hi.' The youngest one said. 'I'm Will Zimmerman.'

'Sam Carter.'

'Yeah, I talked to you on the phone.'

'That was you?' He nodded and Sam set her eyes on the other man, glaring when she noticed he was very obviously checking her out and Sam almost regretted changing from her BDU's into much more discreet but much more revealing black pants and dark blue t-shirt.

'Nikola Tesla.' He finally said and Sam's eyebrows shot up again. She then frowned at the man before turning to look at Helen, a smile tugging at the corners of her mouth. The brunette was smiling brightly.

'You're not the only one who doesn't look her age, are you?' Helen shook her head.

'Smart one, this one.' Sam heard and she ignored the condescending tone as she turned back to face Tesla.

'Nikola Tesla. I almost named my cat after you.' Will snorted and Sam wondered why she had said that. The physicist seemed amused.

'Whom did you choose instead?' He asked.

'Schrödinger.' He seemed to contemplate the idea for a second.

'I can live with that.'

'You know, it's an honour to meet you. Physicist supreme who played – plays – with electricity. Inventor of the radio.' The look that suddenly appeared on his face reminded him of that on Daniel's face when told he could play in the ruins for days on end. He turned to look at Helen.

'Oh, Helen, I don't know what you two are going to be doing but I want in.' Helen shook her head at him.

'Trust me, Nikola, nothing that interests you will be happening.' She turned to look at Sam. 'I trust you have a bag of some kind.'

'Yes. It's in the rental car. I can get it later; the car is parked pretty close.'

'Nonsense. It has been far too long since we have seen each other.' She turned to look at Will while her hand settled at Sam's elbow. 'Will, would you mind getting the car here?'

He seemed about to argue but one look from Magnus seemed to be enough to convince him not to. He nodded at Sam and she fished the keys out of her pocket, indicating what kind of car it was and where she had parked it. She was barely done describing it when she felt Helen's hand trail to her back again, applying the slightest bit of pressure to guide her towards the corridor from which the men had just come.

'Do you think they're-?'

'Oh, yes!' She heard Tesla answer in the distance.

'There are very few subjects of gossip around here.' Helen started. 'But don't worry, they all know better than to ask questions about my personal life. Even Nikola knows to make himself scarce when the need truly arises. And, eventually, something will come along that will make them forget you were ever here. Although Tesla may mention you again. You seem to have made quite an impression on him. And that is saying a lot.' She explained with a wink as they entered what was probably her office.

Sam chuckled and shook her head as Helen closed all the doors and Sam suspected that was something that didn't happen all that often as the whole space seemed to be pretty open and more likely than not, Helen mostly left the doors open so that anyone could walk in at any time. And at the same time, she was pretty sure when her staff saw the doors closed, they understood that they weren't supposed to come in and Helen would be left alone for as long as she kept the door closed. It allowed for a modicum of privacy but they would probably move to the bedroom later on.

But for the moment, it appeared Helen truly intended to enjoy a cup of tea if the tea pot and two cups sitting on the coffee table were any indication. Sam smiled at the fact that it had not been some odd British euphemism which Sam had not caught. She walked around the couch and sat down, watching as Helen poured tea in the two cups.

'You know, I may know you but you are still one mysterious and enigmatic woman.' Sam said. Helen turned around to look at her and smiled.

'Am I?'

'Oh yes.'

A mischievous grin appeared on Helen's face and she carefully set the cup and tea pot down before turning around again. She leaned down, her hands cupping Sam's jaw. Sam sighed when their lips finally touched and what started out as gentle pecks and chaste kisses soon turned heated and a moan escaped Sam's lips when she felt Helen nibbling at her lower lip before expertly pushing her tongue into her mouth. Their tongues battled for power as Sam threaded her fingers through the dark locks. The back of her neck was starting to hurt a bit from being bent back but she ignored the pain, enjoying the taste of Helen's lips on hers, her tongue touching hers and exploring her mouth. She shivered when Helen's thumbs brushed down her throat, the light caress sending sparks of pleasure through the sensitive skin and to the rest of her body.

When Helen pulled back, their lips were still brushing and Sam could not resist pecking the delicious and luscious lips repeatedly. Sam felt Helen push a few strands of hair back behind her ears as she kissed her way across her cheek. She nibbled at her earlobe gently and Sam sighed when she felt Helen breathing warmly against her ear.

'I trust my intentions are less than mysterious and enigmatic.' She breathed and Sam laughed, shivering slightly when Helen's hand trailed all the way down from her jaw to her hip.

'I'm sure we can make it even clearer.' Helen raised a teasing eyebrow.

'Flirtatious, are we, darling?'

'Well I couldn't really drop by for no reason, could I now?' Sam teased back.

She tangled her fingers with Helen when she sat down next to her and leaned forward to grab a cup which she handed her before taking her own. She lifted her cup to her lips and took a sip before lifting Sam's hand towards her lips and pressing a soft kiss to her knuckles. Sam smiled and took a sip of her own, looking at Helen over the cup before breaking eye contact and letting her gaze move across the room.

The room was warm and comforting and Sam guessed that it was room in which Helen spent a lot of time and not only because she was busy and had a lot of work to do but because it was soothing and relaxing. There were a lot of items she suspected were personal and each one probably had a history which mattered a great deal to her.

Her eyes landed on two pictures side by side of a young blonde woman. She was smiling in both pictures and looked happy. It was obvious the girl was someone who was hugely important to Helen and Sam did not need to ask to know who she was. Her suspicion was confirmed when she heard the hitch in Helen's breathing and felt her squeeze her hand just a tiny bit tighter. Though her lover was still very much a mystery to her, she had known her long enough to understand her better and to know that any emotion or reaction she would show concerning something that touched her deeply, would be discreet and would barely be noticeable to someone who did not pay attention or to someone who did not know the signs. She turned around, looking warmly at Helen. She gently squeezed her hand and waited until a tiny but sincere smile grazed her lips to turn around again and continue looking over the room, her thumb gently caressing the back of Helen's hand.

She gave Helen some time as she looked over the room, taking in every detail. Her thumb never stopped its gentle and soft caress and after a few instants, she felt Helen squeeze her fingers gently and rest her chin on her shoulder. She nuzzled her neck a bit a Sam tried to tame her giggles. But, to her surprise, Helen laughed and her free arm – apparently she had gotten rid of the tea cup at some point – circled Sam's waist to keep her in place while Sam squirmed and tried to get away from the ticklish sensation while keeping the delicate china cup from flying through the room.

After a few moments, she let go and Sam turned around to shoot her a bright grin before leaning forward and setting the cup on the table. She turned back to Helen and curled up against her, resting her head on her shoulder. Helen's arm circled her shoulders and her hand came to rest on her hip, nimble fingers slipping under the hem of her t-shirt and caressing as much skin as she could touch before slipping further down and brushing the skin under the waistband of her pants.

'I have something much stronger than tea but it is still a little bit early in the day to get you drunk.' Sam chuckled and moved a leg until it was resting fully against Helen's.

'You do know you don't have to get me drunk for that, right?'

'I do but you, love, are one of the people whose company, when drunk, is quite enjoyable. I was thinking of taking advantage of you being inebriated to get information out of you.' Sam laughed and looked up at Helen.

'What kind of information?'

'Any kind, my dear. You, Samantha Carter, are more intriguing than you give yourself credit for. And I am interested in you.' Helen huskily whispered, lowering her lips to Sam's, instantly deepening the kiss.

Sam allowed her power for a few moments before slipping out from under Helen's arm, swinging her leg over Helen's thighs under she was straddling her. Her hands moved to cup Helen's jaw before slipping into her hair. She reclaimed control of the kiss, swallowing Helen's moan but unable to hold back a sigh of her own as Helen's hand brushed her breast on its way down to her hip. It slipped around her back and was instantly under Sam's shirt, pressing their chest close to one another. Their tongues dueled for control, neither one willing to relinquish power. Sam's hands moved from Helen's hair down towards her chest, stopping to seductively brush her breasts before moving towards the buttons of the blouse. She had barely undone one when Helen's hands shot up and covered hers. The brunette pulled back just slightly, breathing heavily.

'Dear God.' She breathed.

Helen reclaimed Sam's lips, refusing to let go though her hands were still warm and tight around Sam's. She moaned as she pulled back. They were both breathing heavily, their eyes clouded with desire and when Sam opened her eyes, despite her confusion, she couldn't help but grin.

'Not here.' Helen explained, breathily. Sam pouted, leaned down and pressed her lips to Helen's again, smiling when the other woman granted her access without any form of resistance though she pulled back again much too quickly for her taste. 'We are not doing this here.'

'Why not?'

'Because I am supposed to be able to work here. And I have staff meetings here every day. And I will never be able to do anything productive in this room again if every time I look at this couch I think about making love to you.' Sam pouted some more but nodded.

'Good point. I would probably say the same thing if this were my lab.' She admitted, pressing her lips to Helen one last time before standing up.

'Perfect.'

Helen followed suit and only once she was standing did Sam realize she had taken off her stilettos some time after they had sat down. She slipped her arms around Helen's waist, kissing, nibbling and licking the side of her neck while the brunette attempted to slip the shoes back on.

'The more you distract me, the more time it will take me to manage those shoes and the longer it will be before we reach my room.' Helen gasped.

Sam simply rested her head on Helen's shoulder, feeling her cushion suddenly get higher. She smiled to herself. Helen and she were the same size which was exceptional enough but, contrary to her, Helen wore high heels most of the time so that Sam often found herself shorter than her. And she had to admit that she liked that fact. Being a tall woman certainly had its advantages in the military where it was a point in her favour in the man dominated environment. But with other women, no matter how little women she actually spent time with, she always felt too tall and somewhat disproportionate compared to the short and tiny women. It was yet another reason she loved the Britton's company. For once, she did not feel too tall and she was even shorter than her if she wore her stilettos.

She dropped another kiss to the side of Helen's neck, feeling her hand trail down from the back of her neck to the small of her back.

'Shall we?' Helen breathed into her ear.

Sam was all too happy to oblige, allowing their fingers to tangle again and letting Helen gently pull her until they reached the door. They slipped out of the office and walked quietly through the corridors and Sam laughed at the fact that they were obviously trying to escape notice and reach the bedroom without meeting anyone. She chuckled under her breath, earning a glare from Helen which only made her laugh harder. She lifted a hand to her lips, trying to stifle her laughter.

'You know, if we're sneaking around, it would work better without the heels.' Sam advised and she suddenly found herself backed into a small, dark alcove, Helen's warm and curvy body pressed against hers.

'I know it would.' Helen whispered just as Sam heard voices coming their way. 'But I also know you like me very much in heels.' She murmured into her ear, working on the magical spot she had discovered long ago.

Sam's hands circled Helen's shoulders, pulling her closer, trying not to gasp or moan out loud. She did not care to try and identify or recognize the voices of whomever was walking by. Her brain was clouded with desire and her lover's body pressed against her with nothing but their clothes between them was preventing her thoughts from straying to anything but her. She bit her lip hard to keep the cry from passing her lips as Helen licked the spot right beneath her ear. Never would she have thought that Helen Magnus would get thrilled at the thought of possibly getting caught by her coworkers. Never would she have thought that she would get thrilled at the thought of possibly getting caught by her female lover's coworkers.

Helen's hand was firmly set on her butt and their lips were locked again, their kiss steamier than Sam would ever have allowed anywhere but in a private place before she met the woman who was currently turning her knees into her favorite dessert. Whoever had walked by was long gone by the time they pulled back and Helen slipped her hand into Sam's again, tugging her along until she pushed a door open, closed and locked it behind them. She whirled them around until Sam's back was flat against the door and her hands were finally allowed to unbutton the blouse which she promptly did, not losing any time before she pushed the garment off Helen's shoulders.

'Dear God, woman!' Helen breathed against her lips. 'What you do to me should not be permitted.' Sam chuckled against her lips.

'It probably isn't. What you do to me most certainly isn't.' Sam breathed back, claiming Helen's lips while caressing the newly uncovered skin.

She lightly scratched her back and felt Helen's hands slipping under her shirt, roaming over her front, sides and back before pulling away just enough to pull the shirt off in one swift and exercised move. But instead of leaning back in to resume the kiss, Helen pulled back and looked down at Sam's chest with a bright grin. She moved a hand to the strap of her bra before slowly tracing down, one finger following the edge of the cups. Finally, she leaned forward pressed her mouth against Sam's ear, licking the shell once before nibbling her earlobe.

'I've been wondering about this lovely garment since you got here.' Sam laughed as her hands traced back up Helen's back.

'Really?'

'Oh yes. You are a stunning woman as it is but with this lovely bra, it's no wonder Nikola could not keep his eyes in check.' Sam laughed again, pressing her cheek against Helen's.

'Does he have x-ray vision or something?'

'Oh, no. But that t-shirt did not do much to hide how beautiful you are.'

Sam smiled brightly and kissed Helen's cheek as both their hands grew bolder and explored the exposed skin with more intent. Sam shot one look over Helen's shoulder, locating the bed before gently pushing Helen backwards. The hands on her sides tightened a bit and she stopped, watching as Helen stepped out of her heels and got back down to the same height as her.

'Walking backwards in such high heels is never a good idea.' She simply explained.

Sam chuckled, her arms circling Helen's back again. She pressed her lips against the side of Helen's neck, working on her pulse point, grinning brightly when the brunette faltered a bit and her arms tightened around her body, nails digging into the skin of Sam's back. She gasped and one of her hands slipped down Sam's back and under the waistband of her pants until she was cupping her butt and pressing their bodies closer. Together, they stumbled to the bed until Helen was lying flat on top of the covers, her legs hanging off the side of the bed. She crawled back seductively while Sam toed off her sneakers, her eyes roaming over Helen's body, from her deep blue eyes down to her toned abdomen, taking a particular amount of time to enjoy her breasts, still encased in the dark lacy bra.

She licked her lips before stepping up to the bed. She set her hands on Helen's legs, letting them move up slowly as she settled down on top of the brunette. Sam grinned teasingly and seductively before leaning down and nibbling at Helen's lower lip, pulling back just a tad bit every time she tried to deepen the kiss. One of her hands caressed Helen's side and front, making a point not to cup Helen's breasts, no matter how much it cost her and no matter how much she knew the Britton would make her suffer afterwards. Her other hand was slowly moving up a creamy white thigh, caressing the skin through the thin fabric of her nylon tights. Her hand slipped under the tight navy blue skirt and she tugged down the edge of the tight, slipping it off Helen's leg and throwing it over her shoulder, resuming the caress, glad she could finally touch the soft and warm skin. Sam giggled a bit when she heard Helen's low growl after she had, once more, pulled back from her attempt to deepen the kiss.

'Tease.' Helen breathed. Sam chuckled and kissed her more fully once.

'You know you love it.'

'I do. But you are enjoying this far too much for my liking.' She admitted as Sam changed hands to get rid of the other tight.

She slipped her hand up until her fingers were brushing the edge of Helen's lacy underwear. All the while, Helen's hands had been caressing her back, moving up and down in leisurely moves that had left Sam's senses on fire and had made it extremely difficult for her not to give into the desire to kiss her lover senseless. Helen undid the claps of her bra, forcing her to move her hands so she could slip the straps off her shoulders and down her arms. The bra disappeared off somewhere she could not care less about. Helen's hands cupped and palmed her breasts for the tiniest of instants before they moved further down Sam's front and she grinned all too brightly at Sam's groan.

'Payback, my darling. I cannot have it be said that I do not give as much as I receive.' Sam laughed and finally pushed her tongue past Helen's lips, they both sighed and smiled. Sam moaned when she pulled back, her lips still brushing Helen's.

'Oh you have nothing to worry about. As far as lovers go, you are pretty damn fantastic and mind blowing.' Helen grinned, resuming the kiss as her hand slowly moved down Sam's body, swiftly unbuttoning and unzipping the pants.

'Am I still the only woman you've had sex with?' Sam nodded. 'What about that eccentric Vala character you've told me about?' Sam laughed and dropped her head to Helen's shoulder.

'There are so many reasons why that is never going to happen.'

'Such as?' Helen asked, her fingers slipping into Sam's pants and between her legs. Sam moaned and tried to focus on the question.

'She's straight. I work with her. She can't keep secrets and I really don't need the whole base knowing I am bi. Am I bi?' She asked with a frown. 'The only woman I want to sleep with is you. I'm not attracted to other women.' Helen laughed and shook her head, pressing just a little bit harder with her fingers, leaving Sam squirming.

'Any other reason Vala is a bad idea?'

'She is way too eccentric! I have absolutely no desire to find out what she's like in bed.'

Helen laughed again and, in one swift move, rolled them over until she was the one on top. She grinned down at Sam who slipped a hand to the back of her neck, pulling her down until their lips were locked again and they were kissing deeply. She kept her hand there, the other one slowly trailing down to unhook Helen's bra. Once she had gotten rid of the piece of clothing, her hand moved even lower to unzip the skirt and push it down Helen's hips.

'Are we in a hurry, my dear?'

'Yes, we are. I want you. It's been way too long.' Sam stated, prompting Helen to move a bit so she could slip the skirt off her and throw it on the floor while lifting her butt so Helen could tug her pants off and make them join the skirt on the floor.

Sam looked at Helen, watching her grin mischievously. The look in Helen's eyes aroused her more than anything else she had ever encountered in her life and it would have scared her had she not known just how good in bed the woman was. When the brunette pressed a kiss to the inside of her ankle, Sam thought she would die. It was time for payback and Helen would make her regret ever thinking about teasing her, keeping her lips just out of reach so she couldn't deepen the kiss, , her hands never coming close to where she wanted them. The brunette licked the skin just above her ankle and Sam knew she was going to kiss every inch of her legs, just to make her squirm, to make her understand that one did not mess with Helen Magnus and refuse to give her something she wanted. Much less when in bed.

By the time Helen was kissing her left knee, Sam was considering actually begging her to get it over with. She moaned when Helen traced one finger behind each knee, knowing how sensitive that spot was for Sam.

'Helen, please.' She gasped, feeling Helen's lips pull into a smile. The plea did not change a thing. If anything, it only made Helen go even slower and she only responded when her lips were lightly brushing the very top of her thigh.

'Yes, dear?' She teasingly breathed, her tongue darting out to taste the skin of Sam's leg again.

'Are you done?'

'Not quite, my love.' She slipped her fingers under the sides of Sam's underwear, pulling it down her legs and off before pressing one kiss where her thigh met her hip.

'Oh, God!'

She curled a hand against the top of Helen's arm, trying to pull her up but to no avail. Finally, after Helen had kissed her way up her entire body, leaving her feeling like nothing more than overheated jell-O, she felt the woman's lips on hers. She immediately granted her access, deepening the kiss as Helen's hand settled between her legs. Sam successfully took off the last piece of clothing that was separating her from Helen, her own hand slipping between Helen's legs. Her free hand moved to one of Helen's breasts, her thumb playing with the pebbled nipple.

Helen pulled back just a tad bit, kissing the corner of her lips before moving to her neck. She nibbled at her ear lobe for a while before slowly moving downwards until her lips closed around Sam's peaked nipple. Sam sighed, arching her back, her fingers applying just a little bit more pressure. She mirrored Helen's moves for a few minutes and moaned when she felt the long and nimble fingers slip inside her, grinning to herself when she felt Helen push her hips against her hand.

'I want to kiss you.' She breathed, her voice husky and low. It wasn't until she felt Helen kiss her way back up that she realized she had spoken – Hell _thought_ – the words.

'I'd be happy to oblige.' Helen responded, her lips already brushing Sam's.

Their lips locked and their fingers sped up just a tad bit. Sam's arm circled Helen's back and she rolled them over again, managing to keep her lips pressed to Helen's and her fingers exploring her lover's body. She cried out and her hips buckled as Helen's fingers touched a particularly nice spot. Her hand slipped back to Helen's front and resumed its activities while their tongues battled and their fingers sped up some more. One of Helen's long legs slipped around her waist and Sam decided there was one disadvantage to making love to a woman. If using their hands – which was mostly the case for them as she was very fond of kissing Helen during sex – they only had one hand free to caress the other's body.

'You know, I have been told I am very deft with my tongue.' Helen breathed against her lips as if she had been reading her thoughts. Sam chuckled, pecking her lips and cheek once.

'I know you are. And I very much intend to put it to good use before I leave.'

'It seems you've made plans for me.'

'Yes, I have.'

'I have some plans of my own.' Helen seductively whispered, claiming Sam's lips again and putting a particular effort into making her moan and writhe in pleasure.

'You do?'

'Absolutely. You see, there is this lovely young woman. Beautiful blonde with the most gorgeous blue eyes. And I very much intend to spend the weekend in bed with her. At least, as much as Sanctuary crisis allow. I will have my manservant bring us food and we will not be leaving this bed until I say so. I trust that meets with your agenda.'

'I think I can accommodate.'

'Perfect. And, Samantha? This means that I will most definitely remind you of exactly how good I am with my tongue.' Sam chuckled and kissed Helen's lips once, swallowing her moan. 'And if I remember correctly, you weren't half bad yourself.'

'I think I remember you saying something like that.' Sam let out an involuntary squeal when Helen rolled them over again, offering her a bright grin and a peck.

'Lovely.' She breathed which Sam thought corresponded perfectly to what Helen's fingers were doing to her.

She gasped and set to the task of making Helen's thoughts as empty and incoherent as the brunette was making hers. Her fingers explored and found the spots she knew to be most sensitive. For every touch that made Helen gasp, moan and writhe, she responded with one of her own that made Helen buckle over her. For every touch that made her gasp, moan and writhe, Helen responded with one of her own that made her arch her back to push her breasts further into Helen's palm and that made her push her hips against the deliciously invading fingers.

By the time, Sam felt herself fall over the edge, she didn't think she would ever be able to think clearly again. As usual, Helen had brought her to new peaks of pleasure which existence she had ignored until that day, and Sam wondered if it was like that because of how rarely they saw each other or if there was really so much she had been oblivious to until she met the gorgeous Helen Magnus. She suspected it was a bit of both but either way, she found herself utterly mind blown. One last stroke and she cried out, not caring who could be walking by the door and would hear them.

Sam dropped her head to the pillow, still feeling the aftermath of her very recent orgasm coursing through her body. Helen dropped down next to her, tangling their legs and settling one hand low on Sam's abdomen. She traced invisible lines on her fair skin and once Sam had recovered somewhat, she opened her eyes and looked down at the finger. The touch was both soothing and tickled a little bit. She pressed her forehead against Helen's cheek and watched her lover's hand, mesmerized by the slow and gentle moves, allowing herself to let go completely and relax completely in the half-embrace. Every now and then, Helen's finger brushed a particularly sensitive spot and Sam shivered and felt Helen kiss her temple.

Soon, however, she shivered for a whole other reason. Helen's hand flattened on her abdomen and Sam had to wonder if she could read minds or if they were just that in tune with each other.

'You're cold.' Helen breathed. Sam nodded and they both reluctantly moved away from each other. Sam pulled down the covers and slipped under them, expecting Helen to join her. Instead, she grabbed a robe and slipped it on.

'Hey! I was enjoying the view.' Helen chuckled and shot her a grin over her shoulder.

'I'm sure you were, darling. And there will be plenty to admire in a few minutes. Let me just put on the fire.' Sam nodded, her eyes following Helen's every move across the room. A small smile tugged at her lips as Helen bend over and, unsurprisingly, the woman guessed. She looked at Sam over her shoulder. 'Still enjoying the view, are we?'

'Very much so. But I'd enjoy the view even more if you were here with me and got rid of that lovely but hindering robe.'

Helen shook her head in amusement and returned to the task at hand before making her way back to the bed. Halfway back, she untied the knot of the robe and let it slip down her shoulders to Sam's great delight. She walked back to the bed and slipped under the covers, allowing Sam to curl up against her much like they always did. Sam's head was resting on her shoulder and they were each gently caressing the other's body, tracing invisible lines on their skins.

As was the case every time they met, they were silent for a long time, reveling in the having the each other close, simply breathing each other in, their touches delicate and affectionate. It was what their relationship had been about since their very first night together. Two strong women needing comfort to break from the façade they had to put up for days on end to make impressions. They had needed the soft and gentle touch of another woman who would not judge them, would understand them and who would offer comfort without expecting anything in return.

Somehow, from their very first meeting, they had understood how alike they were and how much they would come to mean to one another. Physical comfort was something they did not get often and they had both needed it. They had both needed to be held and cherished. They had both needed to simply feel another human being pressed close to them, offering silent comfort and gentle touches that meant more than a million words ever could.

And then the words had come naturally. They both had tremendous responsibilities resting on their shoulders and it had seemed natural to share everything, no matter how confidential or classified. Talking about themselves on a much more personal level had been a natural transition and Sam was now confident that there was no one in the universe who knew more about her than Helen Magnus did. She knew her deepest secrets, her darkest fears, her dearest hopes, wishes and dreams.

And she knew just as much about Helen. They had both talked for long hours, well into the dark hours of the night, revealing things they had not shared in years, if ever. It had felt incredibly good and liberating to say the words that they had held back for so long and their instinctive and natural relationship had only grown stronger because of it. The nights they spent together were often sleepless and filled with warm kisses and caresses that allowed them to stay strong until their next meeting.

One night, when the dam had been about to break and Sam had collapsed on the floor, she had wondered how she ever managed before she met Helen. She had cradled the phone to her ear, dialing the only number she could think of. When she had heard Helen's voice over the phone, the dam had broken and she had been unable to hold in the tears. She had sobbed her heart out for a long time, knowing that Helen was listening. And the only thread she had been able to hold on had been her soft voice whispering sweet nothings and gentle words through the phone and into her ear. Helen had later told her that, upon hearing the first sob, she had ordered her colleagues and daughter who had been in the office for the staff meeting to leave the room. Apparently, none of them had remembered her ever talking so harshly to any of them.

In turn, she had opened her door one evening to find a disheveled and desperate Helen on her porch. She had barely closed the door behind her before the woman had dropped to the floor. Sam clearly remembered her heart dropping several floors when she saw the stronger-than-steel woman reduced to nothing but a shivering and wailing person. She had sat down and pulled Helen into her, rocking her back and forth like one would a child, oblivious to the dark irony until Helen had whispered that her daughter was gone. Sam's heart had constricted and she had held the grieving mother all night long, gently rocking her and caressing her hair until she was asleep in her arms.

And still, she had held her, disregarding the ringing of her phone in the morning. She had known it would be the base, asking her where she was. The sound had woken the brunette but before she could start apologizing profusely, Sam had leaned in and kissed her gently, waiting until Helen parted her lips and deepened the kiss. That night and that day had been about Helen and she had not been about to push her into something she did not want. Still, there had to have been a reason for which it was Sam she had chosen to come to, crossing thousands of miles to finally break down in her arms.

It was then that Sam had understood there was much more to them than an understanding no other woman could have for their jobs and lives. It was more than just a sexual relationship. It was more than a strong friendship. They were the one and only person they felt comfortable letting in and showing their weaknesses. That morning, they had made love with more tenderness and affection than ever before.

The phone calls had been rare and only in the most desperate moments. And the visits had often been due to Helen being near Colorado Springs or actually visiting the base. But whenever they talked or seen each other, they poured their hearts out and nothing was left unsaid.

'We still haven't found her body.' Helen suddenly whispered into her hair, her arms tight around Sam's body.

'I'm sorry?' Sam asked, startled by the words and the somber tone.

'Ashley.' She breathed though Sam had known the answer before it was spoken. She didn't say anything, knowing that nothing would help, feeling that Helen still had more to say. 'I wanted to die.' She continued softly.

'I know. I didn't want to let you go that morning. I didn't think I would see you again if I left.' Helen's arms tightened around her and she kissed the top of her head.

'Truth be told, I considered it. But I couldn't do that to you. I couldn't have you think I had come to you to die. Or have you think you weren't perfect that night. Save for James, no one had ever done anything like that for me.'

'What could I do? You know how much I care about you. I couldn't let you cry there without doing something. I would gladly have stayed longer to be with you.'

'I know, darling. But I did not want you to be near in case I chose to end my life.' She admitted. 'I came terribly close once I got back here. I thought I had found a way to shorten my life span. It was not as drastic but it would avoid me watching so many more people I love die. It turned out it would have been a grave mistake.' Sam frowned and looked up.

'How so?'

'It would have caused immense pain and destruction but would not have served its purpose.' Sam nodded and found Helen's hand, tangling their fingers and giving hers a light squeeze before continuing to caress her side.

'How about now?'

'Do I still want to die? I suppose not. Some days are much harder to go through than others. I think about her every single day but she is no longer on my mind all the time.'

'I wish there was anything I could do to help.' Sam murmured.

'You already are helping, darling. You did back then and you do now. After I came back, I did not realize I needed someone. I didn't until I heard your name. I could not have dreamt of anyone better than you.'

'Well, anything I can do to help.'

'Samantha, are you trying to get me to tell you I wish you could stay and that I do miss you a great deal when we are apart?' Helen asked teasingly.

'Me? I would never do that.' Sam pretended with a bright and innocent grin. Helen chuckled, shook her head and leaned down to press her lips against Sam's.

'Of course not.' She sarcastically agreed. 'Just like I would never drink tea.'

Sam giggled and turned her head to press her face against Helen's shoulder. She felt Helen's hand trail up her back and looked back up at Helen, finding her closer than she expected. Sam grinned teasingly, letting Helen press their lips together. When they pulled back, Helen kissed the corner of her lips and set her eyes on Sam's.

'You know, Samantha, I think I may be just a little bit in love with you.' She whispered. It took Sam an instant to register the words. She grinned brightly again.

'Yeah?'

'Yes.'

'Well, that's good. Cause, Helen, I think I may be just a little bit in love with you.'


	3. Chapter 3

Hey there. :)

I hadn't really planned on adding a chapter to this fic but I got this idea and couldn't resist it. And, since the reviews I have gotten for this fic are, without question, the most fabulous and the most amazing ones I have ever received, I felt like making you, lovely readers and reviewers, happy. Some of you have asked for more, so here goes.

I hope you will like it. Let me know. :D

Enjoy. :)

Chapter 3

Sam followed Will into the foyer. It hadn't changed much since the last time she had been here. The main difference was the number of people inside. He had told her that it would be a big event, the biggest one of the year, but she had not expected that many people to know about the Sanctuary, to donate their money so the Sanctuary could stay afloat and keep on living.

'Are you okay?' Will asked and Sam realised that he had turned and was looking at her but she couldn't quite tell whether he was amused or concerned. 'You look a little lost.'

'I am. I really don't know what I'm doing here.' One of his eyebrows imitated Teal'c's and she smiled. She would most definitely not give him an answer to that suspicion.

'Should I help you find her or do you want to do that on your own?' He asked a little too hopeful for her liking. She would make sure to tell Helen her _protégé_ was very curious about them.

'I'll find her myself, thank you.'

He deflated a little bit but nodded, smiled and turned around. She didn't follow him immediately. Instead, she stood where she was for a moment, taking in the room and the people. Save for the lack of uniform, this reminded her a little too much of an Air Force party. The door that led towards the dining room was open and Sam decided that it would be where Helen would be.

Sam was just about to start making her way there when she felt a hand on the small of her back. She jumped but did not let her soldier instincts take over, deciding her lover's party was not the best place to demonstrate that she could take anyone who tried to harm her. And she was very glad about that when she turned around and found herself face to face with the woman she had been looking for, the lover whose party she really didn't want to crash. She barely stopped herself from leaning in and pressing a warm and soft kiss against Helen Magnus' lips. It had almost become a reflex and, for a moment, she had forgotten that they weren't alone in the room, that she couldn't press the woman against the wall and have her way with her.

'What in God's name are you doing here?' Helen asked quietly, smiling at her. Her hand was still resting low on Sam's back and they were standing closer than really necessary. Sam felt Helen's breath tickle her cheek as she spoke. At that moment, she knew exactly why she had come.

'Your _protégé_ is playing match-maker,' Sam answered with a grin. Helen's eyebrows shot up in surprise and she let her hand trail over Sam's back and waist before stepping away. Sam tried to ignore how cold her arm felt as soon as Helen's front wasn't pressed against it anymore.

'He asked you to come?' Sam nodded.

'He called me and said there was this big event, the biggest of the year, and that I should come to surprise you. Surprise! I hope you don't mind.'

'Why would I mind seeing you, darling? Besides, you look exquisite,' she breathed, her eyes following each curve of her body before their eyes met again.

Sam shrugged and smiled sheepishly. It didn't matter that they had been doing this – whatever this was – for several years, she still felt like she was dreaming or hallucinating. She still felt like Helen would change her mind and decide that she was done playing around with an Air Force Colonel who did not live in the same country and, sometimes, not even in the same galaxy. But those thoughts were pushed aside and she grinned victoriously when she noticed that Helen had as hard a time keeping her lips to herself as Sam did. That caused the brunette to glare at her before she motioned for Sam to move towards the dining room.

'Will may or may not have mentioned that I should help you relax. I think it's safe to say he knows,' Sam added just before they walked into the tastefully decorated room. Helen nodded.

'Oh, he does. Keeping a lover secret when you live with three people and about twenty abnormals capable of human-like reasoning tends to be a little bit complicated. Although, I did not expect him to organise a booty call for me.' Sam laughed, turning to look at Helen with a bright grin.

'I'm sure I can make you forget who brought me over.'

'I have no doubt you can, love. But, for now, I'm working.'

'I know. I'll behave. I promise.' Helen laughed and shook her head lightly.

'I know you don't like these big events. If you want to escape, you can make yourself at home. You know the place. And, more importantly, you know where my chambers are,' Helen suggestively informed with a wink. It didn't take Sam long to decide.

'I think I might do just that. Escape, that is.' Sam decided she couldn't resist anymore. She looked around once, making sure no one was paying too much attention to them. Once she was sure of that, she slipped her hand into Helen's, tangling their fingers. 'I didn't really come here for the party.'

Helen squeezed her fingers once and smiled sweetly at her, her blue eyes twinkling and shining. Sam felt her heart miss a beat and she had to fight back the urge to pull Helen against her, to simply hold her for hours on end, to kiss her long and slow until neither one of them could remember their name. The woman was as dangerous as Sam remembered her to be. She briefly wondered if she had the same effect on Helen; if she could make her forget everything with just one look, one smile, one touch.

'I'm very happy to hear that.'

They smiled at each other and Sam had to physically shake her head to bring herself out of the trance. She pulled back her fingers and closed her eyes for a second, breathing deeply. When she opened her eyes, Helen looked somewhat flustered and she had no doubt she sported the same red cheeks and slightly dilated pupils. She thought for minute. She wasn't ready to head to Helen's chambers and wait for her in bed. But she really wasn't in a mood to talk to people and explain who she was and why she was here. Not that she would tell anyone that she was Air Force Colonel Samantha Carter, Dr. Helen Magnus' lover, girlfriend, partner, whatever.

If she were at home she would be working but weekends with Helen were meant to cut herself off from work completely. She didn't have her laptop or any kind of paperwork. She saw a man walk by with a glass of wine in hand and made her decision, remembering a room in the Sanctuary which she had fallen in love with when Helen had given her the _grand tour_.

'Is the library off limits?'

'For you? Absolutely not; you know that. For all these people? Yes, it is.' Sam grinned. 'Would you like a glass of wine to go with some light reading?'

'Yes, please.'

'Stay here, love. I'll get you one.'

Sam didn't have time to answer before she was on her way. She watched the woman navigate through the crowd. It hadn't escaped her notice that Helen was wearing a corset and, if she were being honest, she only wanted to get Helen's dress off her and explore her beautiful curves. A hand brushed her arm lightly and she looked up into Helen's smiling eyes, grabbing the glass of white wine.

'I believe there is an open bottle of red wine in the kitchen, in case you want more.'

Sam smiled and wished, once again, there weren't so many people around. At least she would be able to lean in a peck Helen's lips. But, of course, if there were less people in the room, she would no doubt already be in Helen's room and they would be down to much less clothes.

'I'll see you later.'

'You will, though I can't really tell when. These events tend to end rather late.'

'Don't worry. If I'm too tired, I'll head to bed. Wake me up when you get there.'

She reached out and squeezed Helen's fingers once before turning around to leave the room again. The quiet as soon as she closed the door behind her startled her. There was nothing between her and the party in the foyer and dining room but a wooden door and yet she felt completely alone in the hallway. She could still hear the slight hum of people talking and laughing, a hint of light background music but she could tune it off easily. The darkness of the corridor helped tremendously. For a moment, she considered turning on the light to go to the library but she decided against it. There was enough light coming in through the windows and she had come to the Sanctuary often enough to start being very familiar with it. She didn't need any light.

She took a sip of her wine, smiling as she confirmed that Helen knew her well and knew which kind of wine she liked. As she made her way through the corridors, Sam realised how easy it would be to drop everything and stay in Old City, in the Sanctuary, with Helen. The massive building felt like home somehow. Certainly there were other people and there was always a chance that she would meet Will, Henry – whom she was very fond of, Kate or even an abnormal. It had surprised and startled her the first time but Helen had rested her hands on her shoulders and kissed the back of her neck, prompting her to look forward and keep on walking. Since then, she had grown used to it and she always felt a sense of calm settle over her when she walked into the building.

Sam walked into the library, trying to decide where to settle down for a good read. She opted for the sitting area closest to the window, deciding she wanted as little artificial light as possible. The sky was clear and the moon was out so she would not need too much light. After setting her glass on the small table, she took to exploring the shelves, her fingers brushing some of the books' back. Finally, she picked one, deciding that she would read whatever landed in her hand.

_Dracula_ by Bram Stoker.

Sam let out a laugh. She made her way back to the sitting area and settled into one of the seats. She grabbed her glass of wine, opened the book and started reading. She had no idea how much time had passed when she heard a noise. The Sanctuary might feel like home but there was no denying that it could be a very scary place at times. Apparently, whoever had walked in had noticed the light and walked straight for it. Sam smiled when she recognised Henry. He seemed to relax a bit though he frowned at her.

'Hey,' he greeted. 'What are you doing here?'

'Will called me and said I should come over. And now I'm reading, waiting for the party to be over.'

'Well, you'll be waiting for a while longer,' he informed with a wince. Sam smiled at him.

'I know. You're trying to escape the party, aren't you?'

'Busted.' Sam chuckled and watched him sit down in one of the other seats. 'So, can I ask what's going on between you two? Helen and you, I mean.'

'You're already asking, aren't you?' Henry cringed and offered an apologetic smile.

'Yeah, I guess so. But, you know, I like you. You're nice and you're a geek and everything. And then there's the fact that you're really hot and imagining you and her is even hotter. Except she's like my mum so thinking about that when she's involved feels really, _really_ wrong.' He pulled a face and Sam smiled sympathetically.

'Yeah, I get that. So what are you asking me?'

'I don't really know. She's been hurt a lot.'

'I know,' Sam breathed, looking straight at him. He looked up and into her eyes.

'You do?'

'I do. I know about Ashley and John. Amongst other things.'

'Ah. Okay, well then you know that she doesn't need another person hurting her.'

'No, she doesn't.'

'Good. And she really likes you. I don't know what you have going and what it means or anything but she likes you and she cares about you so, whatever you do, don't screw it up and don't hurt her.' Sam smiled. She leaned forward and grabbed his hand.

'I won't. I promise. I care about her a heck of a lot too and, even if whatever we have doesn't work out, I don't want to lose her friendship.'

'Okay. That's good.' He squeezed her fingers once and Sam smiled at him, untangling their fingers and leaning back in the seat once more. 'How long are you staying this time?'

'Only until Sunday evening. I do have to go back to work on Monday morning.'

'Sucks.'

'A little bit. But I like my job so I don't mind. You should go back to the party though.'

'I should. What are you reading?' Sam laughed, shaking her head lightly at him. She picked up the book and showed him.

'_Dracula_? Really? Don't let Tesla catch you reading that.'

'He's around?'

'Not this time. Do you really think there would still be wine for the guests if he were?'

Sam laughed again, feeling herself relax even more despite the dress she was wearing which was undoubtedly more comfortable than a corset and definitely more comfortable than dress blues but still not the best outfit to sit back and relax. But she was pretty sure Helen liked seeing her in a dress and heels. Beyond that, the spell of Helen's home had claimed her; she was just too lazy to move and change into more comfortable clothes. Once again, Sam considered that she really did feel at home in the Sanctuary. She would never deny that SG-1 past and present – especially past – were her family but she felt like she was getting more and more attached to Helen's equally odd bunch. And they seemed to be getting attached to her as well.

Henry shot his watch a look and pulled a face which Sam took as his having been away from the party for too long. She was almost ready to stand up and pull him back there herself. After all, she did not want Helen to lose time after the party chastising her boy when she could be doing much more interesting and productive things. But, apparently, she didn't need to get him going. He reluctantly stood up, grumbling a little bit. Sam smiled at him.

'Consider yourself lucky you don't actually have to attend.'

'I'm not even supposed to be here. I'm here as a surprise for Helen. She has to mingle and I don't know anyone. It would be more mind-numbing than an Air Force party.' Henry chuckled and nodded.

'Alright then. Enjoy your vampire.' And with that he was off. Sam followed his exit before picking the book up again.

The next thing she knew was that someone was brushing her hair off her forehead, their other hand resting on her knee, warming her skin through the thin fabric of her dress. Sam felt the soft touch of a kiss on her cheekbone. She smiled lazily and sleepily, letting out a low moan when the lips moved across her face, brushing her lips and eye lids, making way for teeth to gently nibble on the side of her neck. She slowly lifted a hand to cup the back of her attacker's head, her fingers threading through silky soft locks.

'I want to be awoken like that every day for the rest of my life,' Sam whispered against Helen's lips, claiming them for the long, slow and lazy kiss she had wanted since she first saw Helen that evening.

'You deserve to be awoken like that every day for the rest of your life,' Helen murmured against Sam's lips. 'I wouldn't mind being the one to do it.'

Sam opened her eyes slowly, eyelids heavy with sleep, looking straight into Helen's deep blue eyes. She smiled and pecked Helen's lips once, her heart fluttering. It was just so easy to be open with that woman, to accept any and all declaration of love, to whisper any and all declaration of love.

'I wouldn't mind if you were that person. But-'

'We're both too committed to our jobs,' they finished together. Sam smiled again though the sadness was obvious in their eyes.

'Let's not think about that now, darling,' Helen suggested, her voice still low. Her hands hadn't moved; one was still warm on Sam's knee, the other one cupping the side of her head, her thumb gently caressing her temple. Sam sighed and leaned into her hand, closing her eyes again.

'That feels good.'

'I know. Would you like to relocate to our bed? That dress is lovely and gorgeous but clearly it was not made for young women to sleep in.' Sam opened her eyes again and looked at Helen. 'Besides, I am far more interested in what is under that dress.' Sam chuckled.

'I thought that might be the true reason.'

'Now, now, darling, don't you get cheeky on me.' Sam grinned and leaned in to press her lips to Helen's again. The kiss was deeper than the first one, full of promise and, once again, Sam was overwhelmed by the feeling of 'home.'

'You love me when I'm cheeky. We could just stay here.'

'We could. But there are far more interesting things to do in the bedroom.' Sam grinned.

'We could do those same things here.' Helen wrinkled her nose and Sam couldn't resist leaning in and kissing it. 'What is it?'

'Security cameras.'

'Fair point. Bedroom it is.' Helen smiled and kissed Sam's lips once more before standing up. Sam sat straighter, stretching a little bit. 'What time is it?'

'Very late or very early. It depends on the point of view.'

Sam smiled, slipping her feet into her shoes, glad the trip from the library to Helen's bedroom was short. She had not worn the shoes long so they didn't hurt but she was sleepy and tired so she wasn't sure how steady she would be on high heels. She glared at Helen's feet for a moment, jealous of how good she was with heels that were higher than Sam's. Sam stood up, Helen's hand on her arm the only incentive she needed to rest against the other woman. She rested her head on the brunette's shoulder and pressed her face against her neck.

'You need to sleep more, love,' Helen whispered into her ear. Sam chuckled, her tongue darting out to taste the skin of Helen's neck before she nibbled on it gently.

'I once heard something about a pot and a kettle.'

'I'm not familiar with that expression.' Sam laughed. She lifted her head off Helen's shoulder and looked at her. 'Will you be able to stay upright until we reach my chambers or shall I call my manservant to get you there?'

'I think I'll be fine.'

They reached the bedroom slower than usual but that was to be expected. They had barely stepped into the room when Helen swirled them around, pressing Sam against the door.

'Unfair,' she mumbled. 'You're still nice and awake and thinking straight,' Helen laughed and kissed Sam's cheek repeatedly.

'I could argue that you had a nap and should have more energy.'

'That wasn't a nap. That was real sleep. I'm sleepy and tired.'

'Sleepy and tired, you say? Perhaps we should let you finish your night and get back to this at a more decent hour.'

'Don't you dare,' Sam threatened.

Her hand cupped the back of Helen's neck, pulling her back in until their lips were pressed together once more. She curled her fingers and lightly scratched the back of Helen's neck until she her lover let out a low moan of pleasure and desire and her knees buckled, causing her to lean fully against Sam who grinned brightly into the kiss. _Oh, she still knew Helen's weak points._ Helen playfully bit Sam's lip in retaliation. Sam moaned under Helen's lips, allowing the kiss to deepen.

It had been too long since she had felt Helen's body against her own, their lips locked and tongues dancing sensually. It had been far too long since she had been able to slip her fingers in Helen's hair, enjoying the feel of the long and soft strands, since she had been able to flatten her hands on Helen's back and hold her as close as humanly possible. And yet, she realised it had just barely been two months since they last saw each other. Maybe that was why Will had taken the initiative to call her and get his boss a weekend off with her.

'I've missed you so much, Samantha,' Helen breathed against Sam's lips, immediately resuming the kiss, unaware that Sam's thoughts had been on the exact same trail. Sam's hands trailed over Helen's back until she found the top of the zipper. She started pulling it down slowly.

'Let's see that corset,' she suggested, unable to tear her lips from Helen's.

Her hands moved to Helen's shoulders and she pushed the short and elegant sleeves off, the tips of her fingers brushing Helen's fair skin. She felt her shiver and felt the Goosebumps appear on her arms as she let go of the sleeves, letting them fall off her arms on their own. She grinned and reluctantly pulled back from the kiss, one eyebrow raised in silent question. Helen shrugged and, against all expectations, pulled off a look Sam had never expected to see on her. In front of stood, their bodies pressed as close to one another as their clothes allowed, stood a sheepishly smiling Helen Magnus. If Sam hadn't been in love with her already, it was definitely an achieved task.

'I have wanted you to touch me since I saw you in the foyer tonight,' Helen admitted before pressing one sloppy kiss on Sam's lips. 'And, whether you believe it or not, love, you have quite the magical touch.'

'You're only saying that to get under my dress,' Sam teased, one finger tracing the edge of the lacy deep blue corset. 'And that,' Sam started, fingering the edge of the garment, 'was definitely not the kind of corset women were forced to wear.' Helen laughed, grabbing Sam's finger and pressing a kiss to it.

'Unfortunately not. And I'll have you know I do not need to flatter you to get under your dress.'

Sam shook her head and reclaimed her finger. She leaned down to press a kiss to Helen's chest before returning to tracing the edge of the corset, enjoying the reaction she immediately got out of Helen. She felt a kiss being dropped high on her cheekbone and felt her lover's lips trace over the side of her face but she simply leaned in, too entranced by the sight in front of her. The corset made Helen's breasts look even fuller than they were and Sam was fascinated by the freckled chest moving with each breath Helen took.

Until she had met – and made love to – Helen, she had hated freckles, especially hers. She had some all over the place and she thought they made her look childish and immature. But, since she was offered the chance to kiss and explore Helen's freckled skin, she had changed her mind about them although she maintained that they looked far better on Helen than they did on her. But at least she was not the only one with so many freckles and knowing that the other woman was the same way had made her feel much less self conscious about that detail that usually made her so uncomfortable.

'Like what you see?' Helen murmured into Sam's ear.

'Very much so.'

'Good. Care to let me have a look at _my_ private show? I know for a fact it's exquisite and delicious.' Sam grinned.

'Do you, now?'

Sam grinned, pressed a kiss to Helen's lips and pushed her back gently. She waited for the brunette to push the dress off her hips and step out of the tangled mess at her feet before pushing her back further. Helen smiled and stepped back seductively, wearing nothing but the corset, the matching thong and her black high heeled shoes.

'Oh, holy Hannah,' Sam breathed, admiring the woman in front of her. Helen grinned brightly at her.

'Well, Samantha, I'm waiting.'

'I _will_ need some help unzipping my dress. Care to help or shall I call your manservant?'

Helen's eyebrows shot up at the thought. Sam grinned mischievously. She walked over to Helen, gently pushing the dark locks off the fair, freckled shoulders before leaning down to kiss the soft skin just as she felt Helen's hands on her back, unzipping her black dress. She pouted when she had to move her hands off Helen's sides so the thin straps of the dress would slip off her shoulders and arms. She took a second to make sure the dress was off, took one step forward and reclaimed Helen's lips for a heated kiss, slowly and carefully pushing her backwards. She did not expect Helen to stop their progression just long enough for her to swirl them around and push Sam down on the bed.

Sam let out a surprised shriek, opening her hooded eyes to look straight at the victoriously grinning face of Helen Magnus. She glared at her, scooting back on the bed until only her feet – and shoes – were off the bed. Helen's smile brightened even more and, when Sam leaned up on her elbows, she stepped between her slightly parted legs and leaned over her, flattening her hand on her chest and pushing her back down. She kissed, nibbled and licked the top of Sam's breasts, standing back up again, her hand slowly trailing down Sam's front, all the way to her left ankle. Sam groaned as Helen grinned, lifting Sam's foot and gently kissing her ankle. Sam wiggled her toes and tried to get rid of the stilettos but Helen shook her head.

'Those are staying on. I don't see you in heels nearly often enough. I'm not passing up on that opportunity. And, since you are sleepy and tired, I believe I should take care of you, my love.' She kissed the inside of Sam's ankle again, letting her tongue dart out.

'Oh, God, Helen, please, not this time,' Sam gasped, knowing better than to try to sit up again. That would only delay the sweet, _sweet_ outcome of the night.

'No?' Helen asked oh-so sweetly and Sam had to look at her. Her head was cocked to the side and she wore the best sweet and innocent expression Sam had ever seen on a grown woman.

'No,' she repeated. Helen grinned and shrugged.

'Oh, well. Plenty else to do up there,' she seductively whispered.

She pressed one soft kiss to the Sam's still lace covered centre before she moved onto the bed, straddling Sam's hips, the heels of her stilettos brushing Sam's thighs. Sam lifted one hand to cup her cheek, her fingers slipping through the dark hair as she vainly tried to push it back behind Helen's ear. Helen smiled and turned her face into Sam's hand, brushing a few warm but soft and delicate kisses on her fluttering pulse point. She set a hand on Sam's waist and one on her flat abdomen as she leaned down to kiss her lips once more.

It started out as slow and deep, their tongues dancing with each other lazily. Sam sighed into Helen's mouth, her hand moving to the back of the brunette's neck when she tried to pull away. Sam kept her still and kept their bodies pressed against one another. Her other hand settled low on Helen's back where she could touch the soft and warm skin between the corset and the thong. She caressed the skin gently, her thumb rubbing small circles just under the edge of the corset.

Helen's hands were not less idle. The hand on Sam's waist rubbed up and down slowly before settling on her butt. The other hand moved to cup one breast, gently kneading it, prompting Sam to moan and arch her back to push her chest against Helen's.

The corset was an unusual barrier between them and it scratched lightly at the skin of Sam's stomach. It felt incredible. She could not get over how beautiful Helen was and the garment only enhanced that. Feeling that between them, knowing that, if she were to pull back and look at Helen, she would see the blue lace against the pale skin, was fabulous. Her fingers massaged the back of Helen's neck for a moment and she swallowed her moan before letting her hand trail down her back. She scratched lightly on the corset, grinning into the kiss when Helen pressed herself further against Sam. Her hand joined the first one on Helen's lower back and both slipped over her backside, moving down over her thighs and back up again. She hooked her thumbs on Helen's thong and pulled down.

Their lips made a wet sound when they parted and, when Sam opened her eyes to look up, Helen's lips were swollen, her pupils dilated, her hair slightly dishevelled. They smiled at each other as Sam pushed Helen's thong off. Helen took this as the time to slip Sam's own underwear off. She grinned and pressed a lazy and somewhat sloppy kiss low on Sam's abdomen. She kissed her way back up and gently nibbled at the bow that sat in the valley of Sam's breasts, on her black bra. Saw laughed.

'I thought you might like that,' Sam commented huskily. Helen looked up at her with a grin.

'Hush, love. You have your own lovely and endearing quirks.' Sam giggled, her fingers moving to thread through Helen's hair again. 'That being one of them.'

'Huh?'

'My hair. You love to run your fingers through my hair or push it off my face.' Sam smiled sheepishly.

'Guilty as charged. You're still the only woman I've slept with. And your hair is fabulous.' Helen laughed and fingered one of the long blonde strands.

'I like yours long,' she breathed.

They looked straight at each other for a few moments, until Helen broke the gaze and slipped her hands under Sam's back, gently caressing the soft skin. She unclasped Sam's bra and let her hands slide over Sam's arms as she slipped the straps off. She threw it over her shoulder but both women looked in that direction when they heard a soft thud. Sam bit her lip and laughed when she saw her bra hanging off the bedside lamp. Helen cringed and poked Sam's side a few times when she started laughing.

'Nice aim, Dr. Magnus,'

'Hush. I don't care where it is as long as it's off you,' she stated, returning her focus to Sam's breasts.

Sam allowed her the exploration, gasping when she felt warm lips and a wet tongue on her right nipple. She knew just how good Helen was with her mouth and she was very happy to leave her in charge of pleasuring her breasts. She sighed and moaned, her back arching slightly. She let her have her way for a while but finally decided she wanted more. Her hand returned to the back of Helen's neck to pull her up. She did not give Helen time to think before she pressed their lips together. She kept her hand in place for a moment to make sure Helen wasn't going anywhere.

Her other hand slowly slipped down Helen's body and between her legs. Helen gasped into her mouth and thrust her hips against Sam's fingers. Sam grinned into the kiss, keeping one hand flat and firm on Helen's back to keep her as close as possible. She pressed herself that much closer to Helen, enjoying the feel of the corset between them, when Helen's fingers mirrored hers and slipped between her legs. Sam parted her legs, realising just then that they were both still wearing their stilettos. _Nice._

Helen was still moving her hips and Sam took pleasure in moving her fingers as slow as possible, just barely enough to be noticeable. She laughed when Helen bit her lip just a little bit harder than necessary before trailing a path of kisses from her lips to her shoulder which she bit again, not enough to break the skin but enough to leave a mark that Sam knew she would cherish as long as it was there. She was not one for hickeys but any reminder, any evidence of her time with Helen was good. Helen nibbled and licked the patch of skin, gently biting it again until Sam slipped two fingers in without the slightest warning.

Helen gasped once, throwing her head back. She let out a low cry when Sam followed that with a well practiced move that had Helen pressed against the bed and Sam on top. She grinned at Helen and kissed her lips.

'You've been on top far too long,' she murmured, pushing her hips against Helen's fingers as she kissed the skin right above the edge of the corset.

'Want that off?' Helen gasped.

'Hell no.'

Sam moaned when the brunette's fingers hit a magical spot inside her. She dropped her head to Helen's shoulder, remembering that they both knew exactly how to get the other off, how to make them reach the highest peaks of pleasure. There wasn't any more talking after that. Their kisses grew more urgent, their hands more frantic and Sam decided that she could be more than happy – and satisfied – if she were never to sleep with anyone but the woman writhing under her who was doing such miraculous things to her.

They came together, leaving Sam in a boneless heap on top of her lover. Her face was pressed against the side of Helen's neck, breathing in the scent she loved so much. Once she was able to move again, she simply slipped off her and pressed herself against Helen's side, resting her head on her chest. She frowned and lifted her head, noticing with a smile that Helen was watching her, curious but silent. Sam smiled up at her, eternally grateful to be in Helen Magnus' bed, in her arms, in her heart. She leaned up and kissed the corner of her lips.

Slowly, she toed off her shoes and managed to get enough strength together to sit up and slip off Helen's shoes. When she looked back, Helen was smiling lazily at her, eyes twinkling. Sam grinned, letting her hand trail up Helen's thigh. She pressed a kiss to the woman's abdomen.

'Sit up or roll over?' She huskily asked.

'Beg your pardon?'

'So I can get that corset off you. It's hot and gorgeous but it can't be comfortable. And it's getting in the way of my cuddling.' Helen laughed. She breathed in and sat up in one move, leaning in to cup Sam's cheek and kiss her slow and deep.

'You sweet and lovely thing,' she whispered against Sam's lips, dropping feather light kisses on them.

She pulled back and Sam settled behind her, one leg each side of Helen's hips. She let out a low moan when Helen's hands settled on her calves and rubbed them, soft enough that it didn't hurt but hard enough that Sam could feel the massage on her strong muscles. For a moment, she forgot herself and closed her eyes, pressing her chest against Helen's back, forehead resting against the back of her neck. She sighed and pulled away, her fingers moving to the top clasp and slowly working her way down. She dropped soft and gentle kisses on the skin that appeared in front of her eyes as she unclasped the corset. She put the thing aside once she was done, feeling and watching Helen breathe in deeply twice.

'I will never understand why women choose to wear these things.'

Sam kissed the back of her neck and flattened her hands on Helen's back to give it a few long and strong strokes. She settled her hands on Helen's shoulders, rubbing them for a few moments before slipping her arms around Helen's waist and settling against her back again, resuming her earlier position. She closed her eyes and breathed slowly, giggling slightly when fingers tickled the back of her knee. But she didn't try to escape. She was way too comfortable and way too sleepy and lazy for that. And she figured Helen was as well because she did not do it again simply rubbing her thighs for a while.

Sam was well on her way to falling asleep against her lover's back when Helen's hands moved from her thighs to her arms. She caressed them gently for a few instants before settling her hands over Sam's. She tangled their fingers and lifted their left hands. She pressed one kiss to the tip of each of Sam's fingers.

'It would be so easy to get used to having you in my life every day,' she breathed against the palm of Sam's hand though Sam didn't know to whom she was talking. She didn't even know if Helen realised she had said the words aloud. 'After John, I never thought I would want to have someone next to whom I fall asleep at night and wake up in the morning. But every time you come here, Samantha, I feel like stopping you when you leave to have that with you.' Sam's breath hitched in her throat and she felt Helen's hand tighten on hers. 'I'm sorry, darling. I don't mean to put you in a difficult position.'

'You don't. I mean – gosh, I want that too. I feel so at home here and, every time I come, all I can think is that it would be really easy to drop everything and stay here.'

'But we can't have that.'

'No.'

'Because we both have important jobs and because lives depend on us doing our jobs properly. We are good at those jobs and I personally believe that we are both somewhat irreplaceable.' Sam nodded against the back of Helen's neck.

'So we wait.'

'No. But we make the best of what little time we have together because it's better than not having each other. So much better.' Sam nodded again and felt another kiss being pressed to her palm. 'We should try and get some sleep, love.'

She slowly stood up, her hand twisting in Sam's but not letting go. Once Sam was off the bed as well, she tugged at the covers just enough for them to slip in. Barely a few seconds later, Sam was pressed against Helen's back, one leg bent and resting on Helen's hip. Her left arm was curled around Helen's waist and she realised with a smile that the brunette was yet to let go of her hand. She wasn't one to argue. She simply pressed a kiss to the back of her neck.

'Do you ever get tired of it?'

'What's that, darling?'

'The responsibility. How many lives rest on your shoulders. Knowing that, if you disappear, even for just one day, you could be putting the entire world at risk because you were not there to take care of things, to make sure that everything goes smoothly.' Helen squeezed her hand.

'It happens. I've been around a long time. You know that. And you know that I've had more than my fair share of bad experiences. You've seen me at my worst. At the end of the day, I try to remember why I do this job and why I will never stop. For over twenty years, Ashley was that reason. Now I try to think about every child, every mother who should never go through that kind of pain. I think about Henry. Oftentimes, I think about you,' Helen admitted.

'Me?' Helen nodded.

'Your job is much more important than mine but sometimes I do wonder what would happen to you if I gave up. The thought that you could get hurt, or worse, killed, is unbearable to me. So I keep going. And then I hear children laugh with their mothers and I see Henry being happy and I see you smile and I know it's worth it.' Sam pressed a yet another warm kiss to the back of Helen's neck.

'Cassie,' Sam breathed. 'Cassie is who keeps me going. She's the closest thing I have – and probably will have – to a child and, every time I feel like giving up, I think about her. And I've thought about you too.'

'You have?'

'I have.'

When she didn't say more, Helen moved a hand to tickle her side. Sam laughed and tried to get away from the offending fingers. But Helen did not give up until they were lying face to face. She leaned into kiss Sam slowly and deeply. They pulled back and smiled at each other. Helen brushed a light kiss against Sam's forehead.

'Sleep, darling. It's far too early for us to still be awake.' Sam smiled, pecking Helen's lips once before tucking herself against Helen.

'I love you, Helen,' she whispered into Helen's neck, feeling Helen's arms tighten around her.

'I love you too, Samantha.'


	4. Chapter 4

Hi there.

Remember that time I said Secrets was a one shot (did I even say it)? Yeah. Well, no, it's not anymore. It now has 10 chapters. It's finished though which was the goal I wanted to achieve before I post this chapter.

The timeline is a little bit tricky and though I think I managed to work something out, I added a little chronology at the bottom of this chapter for those of you who are confused. That includes me.

Anyway. As always, let me know what you think. Oh! That makes me think: the reviews I have received on this fic truly are the best ones I have ever received. Each and every single one of them makes me grin like crazy and make me so very happy especially as this fic has truly become my baby. It's now 74,000 words long but it's my baby all the same. So a big THANK YOU to all of you who have favourited and put this story on alert. And an even bigger THANK YOU to those of you who have reviewed. It's lovely and heartwarming and the review page for this fic is a go to page when I'm feeling a bit down.

One last thing: **gatehead81** asked me to flag spoilers for season 3 in case there were any. There are none in this chapter but there will be in the next one. I'll say it again in that author note but I'm warning ahead. :)

Enjoy. :)

**Chapter 4**

Sam looked up frown her work when her phone rang. She was surprised by the sound. Not that it never rang. On the contrary, it often did. But, for once, the base was quiet and nothing was happening and she had spent the past hour and a half completely alone, working on paperwork, undisturbed by anyone or anything.

'Carter,' she mumbled into the phone, signing yet another file.

'_Hello, love,_' Helen's voice greeted. '_How are you?_'

'Helen, hey,' Sam greeted back with a smile. 'I'm good. You?'

'_Quite well. Are we still on for this weekend? I'm almost done packing but I'd rather not drive to the airport and get on the plane if you're dealing with an intergalactic crisis._' Sam smiled at that.

'No crisis. The base is surprisingly calm actually. I should be worried but I don't want to be pessimistic. You can come. Although, I do have a question; what have I told you about Cassie?'

'_Cassie? Quite a few things. Mostly that she is like a daughter to you._'

'She is.'

'_Why do you ask?_'

'Because she called me during the week and asked if I would put up with her for the weekend. Her plane landed earlier this afternoon so she's probably already at my place.'

'_Oh. So I'm going to meet her,_' Helen concluded. Sam nodded though she knew Helen couldn't see the movement.

'You are. Is that alright with you?'

'_Of course it is. This should be an interesting weekend._' Sam nodded to herself again. '_How nervous are you exactly?_' Sam chuckled, feeling herself calm down a little.

'Very. It'll be fine,' she added, trying to comfort herself and failing.

Cassie and Helen meeting each other was a pretty huge thing and she had always tried to avoid thinking about it, knowing that she would freak out if she focused on it a little too long. And just as she was getting ready to spend a nice and quiet weekend with Helen, Cassie called and put her on the spot, all but forcing Sam to introduce the two women. It was probably best that she didn't try and organise something though. And at least Cassie still didn't know whom she would be meeting. She had tried to interrogate Sam – had sent her about a million and a half text messages since their phone call – but Sam had refused to answer and hadn't given the girl an inch. Still, she had been able to guess that it involved Sam's love life. After all, who else would there to be introduce and that would turn Sam so secretive.

'_Of course it will,_' Helen confirmed. '_Will you be picking me up?_' The return to such a routine and trivial question calmed Sam down.

'When do I not?'

'_Good point. Same time as usual. I'll see you later, darling._'

After work and after picking Helen up at Peterson, she parked in front of her house and shot it a wary look. The light was already on inside; as expected, Cassie was already home. Helen must have felt how nervous Sam was because she reached over, grabbed her hand and squeezed it gently. Sam looked over at her and felt her heart flutter a little bit at Helen's warm and reassuring smile.

'It'll be fine, love,' she promised. Sam nodded, squeezing Helen's fingers. She breathed out and sat up straight.

'Okay. I'm good. Let's go.' Helen smiled.

She grabbed her bag from the backseat and got out of the car. They walked up to the house. Sam opened the door. They both took off their jackets and shoes and, before she had even reached the living room, Sam was engulfed into a tight hug. She smiled and hugged Cassie equally tight.

'Hi, honey,' she breathed into the girl's hair, tightening her arms when Cassie tried to pull away. The young woman giggled and squirmed her way out of Sam's embrace. 'How are you?' Sam asked, lifting a hand to brush back Cassie's hair.

'I'm great. I missed you. And I missed home and thought I'd come back for a weekend.' Sam leaned in to kiss Cassie's forehead.

'Feeling a bit better?' Cassie nodded.

'I might head to D.C. to see Jack sometime soon.'

'I think he'd like that. He misses you and keeps saying he'll try and escape D.C. to come see you but he never gets the time.'

'But you get to see him,' Cassie accused. Sam held back a sigh, knowing that the girl had been a bit disappointed when she had been told that Sam and Jack weren't a couple and that they wouldn't be one, even though the regulations were no longer in their way.

'Not recently. I haven't seen him in over three months. And last time he was here was just for one day on Air Force business.'

'Right.' Finally, Cassie moved on. 'So, you said you wanted me to meet someone.' Her voice trailed off, inviting Sam to continue. Sam bit her lip and turned around to look at Helen. The brunette stepped forward and smiled.

'Cass, I'd like you to meet Helen Magnus,' Sam introduced, pausing slightly, 'my girlfriend.' Cassie's eyebrows shot up.

'Oh.' She offered Helen a shy, hesitant and slightly wary smile. 'Hi. I'm Cassie Frasier,' she introduced, extending a hand for Helen to shake.

'Nice to meet you,' Helen responded with a warm smile. 'Samantha's told me a lot about you.'

'Oh,' Cassie breathed again. 'I didn't know Sam was seeing anyone, let alone a woman.' She turned to look at Sam. 'I didn't even know you liked women,' Cassie added. Sam shrugged sheepishly.

'Trust me, I was the first surprised,' Sam admitted. 'But it seems to be working out pretty well for me.' She looked at Helen and they shared a smile.

'Well, that's good.' Cassie's eyes moved back to Helen and looked her over before they returned to Sam. 'This really wasn't what I expected,' Cassie stated. 'I was hoping you'd introduce me to your boyfriend.' Sam winced.

'Thought you might.' She paused. 'I'm happy, Cass.'

'Really happy or Pete happy?' Sam coughed.

'Oh, wow,' she breathed. She looked straight at Cassie. 'That's a bit harsh, don't you think? I'm _really_ happy, Cassie.'

'Okay,' the girl accepted, shrugging and smiling.

She whirled around and returned to the kitchen whence she had come running from when Sam had walked in. Sam frowned. She shared a look with Helen before the brunette leaned in to kiss her cheek and made her way towards the back of the house. When Sam saw Helen disappear into their room, she followed Cassie into the kitchen. Her eyebrows shot up again when she saw the girl standing by the counter, obviously preparing to cook something. Sam judged that there should be enough for three people and let Cassie have her fun.

'Cassie?' She asked anyway. 'What was that?' Cassie shot her a grin.

'A friend gave me this recipe,' she started. Sam rolled her eyes, knowing that Cassie was purposefully playing dumb. 'I thought I'd try it out but apparently it takes a little while to prepare so I didn't want to start too late.'

'You know exactly what I mean, Cassandra.' The young woman looked up at her.

'What do you want me to say? I don't care if you're bi or lesbian or whatever. That's your business. But I do care about you being happy and being with someone you love. You kept saying that you were happy with Pete but you never were and I don't want that to happen again. He was nice, you had fun but you got way more involved than you should have. I don't want to see that happen again.' Sam closed her eyes and sighed.

'I know. I'm sorry.' Cassie frowned and seemed about to ask why Sam was apologising. 'I know I shouldn't have let Pete believe that I could love him as much as he loved me. And I know it hurt you and the guys.' Cassie nodded slowly.

'It only hurt us because we knew you weren't happy.' Sam nodded.

'I know. I'm sorry, Cassie. But I really _am_ happy. More than I ever could have been with Pete. And I really love her.' Cassie frowned a bit at that before smiling.

'And she loves you?'

'I'm pretty sure she does.'

Cassie nodded. She stopped stirring and stepped up to Sam, pulling her into a hug. Sam sighed, closing her eyes and held the girl tight against her, one hand coming to cup the back of her head. She pressed a kiss to Cassie's cheek, right next to her ear, smiling when Cassie shuddered and giggled. She repeated the motion, knowing Cassie hated to be kissed on the ear. They playfully battled and fought for a few moments until Sam grabbed both of Cassie's wrists, holding them away from her body. She pressed a kiss to Cassie's nose.

'Finish cooking,' she all but ordered, a grin still on her face as she tried to hold Cassie in place. 'I'm going to go tell Helen she can come out of the bedroom.'

Cassie smiled but sticked her tongue out at Sam when she sent the girl one last look over her shoulder. She walked into the bedroom and smiled at Helen when she looked up from her phone. The brunette had changed into a pair of black jeans and a red t-shirt.

'Hey,' she whispered, sitting down next to her on the bed.

'Are you alright, love?' Sam nodded.

'Yeah. We talked.'

'Talking is good. How is Cassandra?'

'She just wants me to be happy and she was around when I was with Pete. She lived with me for a few months after Janet died and before she went to college. Pete and I were engaged and we lived together so Cassie knew the most about us. And I guess she knew that I wasn't really happy and that I was fooling myself and everyone around me. At least I was trying to.'

'She seems like a sweet girl.' Sam smiled.

'She is. She's had a tough life so I guess you can't blame her for wanting people she loves to be happy.'

'No one can be blamed for that.' Sam smiled and shook her head.

'I guess she's a bit protective of me too. I told her I'm happy. And I am. She'll come around when she sees that.' Sam leaned in to kiss Helen. She pulled back. 'I don't see why she wouldn't notice it.'

Helen grinned and lifted a hand to Sam's temple, brushing back a few strands, trying to make them stay behind Sam's ear. She frowned and glared at them, finally giving up when she understood that they were too short and wouldn't stay in place. Sam laughed. She pecked Helen's lips once before pushing to her feet again.

She unbuttoned her jacket, setting it carefully on the back of the chair sitting in a corner of her room. She tugged her blouse out of her skirt before unbuttoning it. She rested it over the arm of the chair before shimmying out of her skirt which she rested over the other arm of the chair. She pulled off her tights and walked over to the laundry basket, making sure to sway her hips just a bit more than necessary, shooting a look over her shoulder to smile teasingly at Helen. She turned back around after dropping the tights into the basket.

'You could have waited until I could have my way with you to treat me to this lovely show,' Helen informed, her eyes trailing over Sam's body, stopping lengthily at her breasts and hips.

'I'm not putting on a show,' Sam innocently denied, batting her eyelashes. She swayed her hips again as she walked towards her closet, enjoying the way Helen's eyes trailed back there, the way her pupils dilated slightly.

'Sway those hips just a little less and I might start believing you, my love,' Helen pointed out.

Sam grinned at her as she pulled out a white button down shirt that she had not-so sneakily stolen from Daniel a couple of years earlier. SG-1 had taken the team night to his place rather than Sam's for once. When they had all started falling asleep, he had handed her the shirt in question and she had curled up next to him on his bed. The following morning, he had shaken his head and smiled affectionately when she had kissed his cheek and slipped out of his place with the shirt still on her back. He hadn't asked for it since and Sam had kept it, putting it on quite often. About as often as she wore the shirt she had snagged from Teal'c and the one Jack had forgotten at her place and never asked for again. She slipped into a pair of blue jeans, turning back around to smile at Helen as she buttoned and zipped up the pants.

She started buttoning up the shirt as she walked over to Helen, leaning over her to press their lips together. Her hands cupped Helen's cheeks as she deepened the kiss, her tongue exploring Helen's mouth, slipping back out and allowing her teeth to nibble on Helen's lips. She moaned when her lover took control of the kiss. One of Helen's hands slipped under the half opened shirt, caressing Sam's warm skin. Sam moaned into the kiss again, fighting back against Helen's tongue, attempting to claim back control. Finally, she reluctantly pulled away slightly. She rested her forehead against Helen's cheek, sighing and pressing a kiss to the soft skin she found there. Helen's hand was still caressing the skin under her shirt and Sam sighed again.

'Cassie's cooking for us,' she whispered, kissing Helen's cheek, slowly moving over to her ear and down her neck, pressing gentle kisses on the pale skin, nibbling lightly or letting her tongue dart out. 'I want you so much,' she whispered huskily, nibbling at Helen's earlobe, 'but I don't think it would make a very good impression on her.' Helen laughed, her hand flattening in the middle of Sam's back.

'I don't know,' she murmured back. 'Having a good sex life is part of being a couple.' Sam laughed, pecking Helen's lips one last time before pulling away.

'Except I really don't need Cassie knowing about our sex life.'

'I'll give you that,' Helen agreed, moving her hands up to Sam's chest as she finished buttoning the shirt for her.

Sam smiled, her hands snaking into Helen's and pulling her up as she stood straight again. They shared another long and lustful kiss before pulling away. They made their way back out and, while Helen set the table, Sam investigated what Cassie was cooking. Once she was sure that the girl wasn't about to burnt her house down, Sam took a bottle of wine out of the fridge and poured three glasses. She handed one to each woman and they clanked their glasses. Helen and her sat down on the counter chairs and observed Cassie as she worked and babbled light-heartedly about California, her friends, a boy Sam suspected – and hoped – she would soon start dating, and more about her life. Sam smiled when Helen's free hand came to rest on the back of her chair, fingers lightly brushing Sam's back. She leaned into the touch, smiling at Cassie when she turned around and saw the two of them. She frowned for a moment.

'I'm sorry,' she started, 'but you'll have to give me some time to get used to the idea of you being with a woman.'

'That's okay,' Sam allowed, understanding why Cassie was a bit startled and confused. She had been when she had first had sex with Helen and, even more so, when she had realised she was really falling for the delightful Briton.

'How long have you two been together, by the way?'

'Going on six years.'

'Six years?' Cassie exclaimed. 'All that time and you never told me,' she pouted and then frowned again. 'Wait a second. You broke up with Pete five years ago. And you were together for a year and a half.' Sam winced.

'Yes, Cass,' she admitted. 'I was with Helen while I was dating Pete. Once. I didn't see her again until after I broke up with him. We talked over the phone and got very close but that was it. We really got together when she came to visit me a couple of months after I broke up with Pete.' Cassie nodded slowly.

'Did you regret it?'

'Cheating on him?' She asked, finally admitting it to herself. The words 'sleeping with Helen' had come to mind first but she had changed them just in time. She bit her lip and looked over at Helen for a second, searching for reassurance. Cassie nodded again. 'No,' she decided. 'I guess it should have been a red flag.'

She thought back to the day Helen had left. Sam had hidden the small note Helen had left her in her most treasured book; a small poetry book her mother had bought for her when she was a child. She kept the book in her nightstand and she had slipped the note in there, smiling each time she saw the nightstand and thought of the small piece of paper that was warm and safe in there. When she had pulled the sheets off the bed to put them in the washing machine, she had only been able to think of the previous night and she had not, for one moment, thought that she had cheated on her boyfriend. Not until he was back in Colorado Springs to visit her. And, even then, she had decided that she did not have to justify herself to anyone and that she did not regret her night with Helen.

She had realised when she had broken up with Pete that she should have ended things right when she stopped caring about cheating on him. She had never been one to cheat but, somehow, she had deluded herself into thinking that her night with Helen had not been cheating. She had only understood much later that, from that first night on, she had been completely mesmerised by Helen Magnus and she had already started falling for the beautiful brunette.

After dinner, Sam couldn't keep the smile off her face. Cassie seemed to have decided that Helen really did make Sam happy and that, therefore, she liked the Briton. And they had gotten along very well. Once they had cleared the table, Cassie curled herself into her favourite armchair and slipped her laptop out of her bag. Sam shot the girl a look, making sure that she wasn't looking before stepping up to Helen and kissing her. Her hands moved to Helen's hips and she held the woman close, smiling into the kiss when Helen got over her slight shock and kissed her back. Sam forced herself to keep the kiss as chaste as possible, knowing that Cassie could turn and see them at any moment. But she had a very hard time doing so. She pulled away, moving a hand to cup Helen's cheek lovingly.

'We are going to have to learn to be quiet,' she whispered against Helen's lips as if to support her words, 'because there is just no way I'm having you around for a whole weekend without making love to you.' Helen grinned and pressed a sweet kiss to her lips.

'It's never seemed to bother you before that someone could hear us.' Sam mirrored the grin.

'There is a difference between your employees knowing we're having sex and Cassie knowing we're having sex.' Helen chuckled and nodded.

'I can understand that. Do you think she would mind us snuggling on the couch?' Sam shot the girl a look and shook her head.

'No, I don't think she'll mind.'

'Good. I'll put some water in the kettle and make us some tea.' Sam smiled.

'You know the place. Cass?' She called, still standing in the circle of Helen's arms. Cassie looked up questioningly, seeming only mildly startled by the sight of the couple. 'Want some tea?'

'Sure, that'd be great.'

Sam nodded and slipped out of Helen's arms, leaning up to press one kiss to her cheek before she made her way to the living room and dropped onto the couch. It took her barely a second before she decided to stretch out completely. After all, snuggling on the couch was best done when lying down and she fully intended to take Helen up on her lovely and enticing offer. She sighed in satisfaction as she settled down and found the most comfortable position. Her eyes moved back to Cassie, watching her as she smiled because of something on her screen.

'Wanna go shopping tomorrow?' She offered, grinning at the look on Cassie's face when she made the suggestion. Her face fell a little bit and Sam frowned.

'Can we go in the morning? I want to visit Daniel while I'm here.' Sam nodded and smiled again.

'Of course. You chose your weekend well. Daniel came back onworld yesterday.' Cassie's eyebrows shot up and she shot a look towards the kitchen where Helen was pouring hot water into the cups. 'She knows,' Sam reassured. 'It makes things a whole lot easier between us.'

Cassie nodded, her eyes following Helen's figure as she walked towards, carrying the three cups on a tray. She handed one to Cassie and left the other two on the coffee table. She turned to look at Sam and smiled as she saw her comfortably settled on the couch.

'Scoot over, darling,' she asked but Sam simply smiled up at her.

'You could just join me, you know.' Helen quirked an eyebrow and Sam barely held back a giggle. 'You're the one who wanted to snuggle,' Sam reminded. Helen laughed.

'You didn't seem all that advert to the idea.'

'Yes, well, I aim to please,' Sam simply declared.

She smiled cheekily at her lover as if her heart hadn't fluttered and swelled with love when Helen had voiced her intention to cash in some hugging and cuddling time. And it was true that Sam was always a willing participant. Their hugging, kissing, touching was nothing exceptional. They did spend most of their time together within touching distance, their hands brushing each other, dropping sweet and gentle kisses on the other's skin, pulling each other into heart warming hugs at the most unexpected times. She was well aware that it was mostly because they were so rarely together and because they wanted to make the most of their time together.

So it wasn't the idea of curling up on the couch with Helen pressed tight against her body that had her heart jumping – more so than usual. It was hearing Helen say the words and express her desire to do so with such tenderness, affection and love. After all, they didn't shy away from declarations of love but expressing their desire of physical proximity was pretty rare between them and it always left her feeling warm and light, ready for nothing but her lover's touch on her skin.

'Well then, darling,' Helen breathed, 'please me and scoot over.' Sam laughed and sat up, waiting for Helen to sit down and get comfortable on the couch before she settled back down, her head cushioned on Helen's thighs. 'Comfortable?' Helen asked, lifting one hand to Sam's head, her fingers gently slipping through Sam's hair, starting at her forehead and brushing it back over her head.

'Very.'

'How do you plan on drinking your tea?'

'I'll sit up. Right now, I want to cuddle.'

Helen shook her head, a fond smile on her face. They were silent for a while and Sam would have fallen asleep right where she was had Helen not gently patted her abdomen to remind her of her tea. The beverage made Sam realise she had prevented Helen from drinking hers. Although the brunette had not seemed to mind. Her hand had slipped under Sam's shirt, flattening on her belly and caressing her skin. Sam slowly sat back up, grabbed the two cups, handing one to Helen before curling up on the couch again. She brought her knees up to her chest. She shot her cell phone a wary look which Helen seemed to catch.

'What's wrong?'

'Nothing yet. But I don't think the quiet can go on for much longer. Something is bound to happen in the galaxy that will require me to head to the base.' She sighed. 'I'm too tired to deal with more work right now.' Cassie looked up at that, her concerned brown eyes meeting Sam's.

'What happened?' Sam shook her head slowly.

'The usual. I sent a team, they went, they saw, they were attacked. Last week was especially hard and I haven't caught up on my sleep yet.'

'There's an easy solution for that,' Cassie hinted. Sam laughed.

'Trying to get rid of me, young lady?' Cassie smiled brightly.

'Well, I do need some time alone with Helen to make sure she is good enough for you.' Sam coughed. 'I mean, she's definitely an improvement over Pete and she seems pretty great so far so I think there's nothing to worry about.'

'Thank you dear,' Helen spoke up. 'I am sitting right here,' she added, smiling.

'So? You're in a relationship with the woman who's like my mum. You've got to know that I'll get a little bit protective and will want to make sure you're not going to wreck her.'

'Well, Ashley was the same way with me so I can't blame you.'

Cassie frowned and Sam turned to look at Helen. It wasn't often that she talked about her daughter and though Sam was used to hearing bits and pieces about the girl it had never happened when anyone but Sam was around. Her eyes tracked over Helen's face, taking in any hint of her emotions, trying to determine how she felt about talking about her daughter and remembering a no doubt very touching moment. Helen must have felt Sam's eyes on her because she turned and offered her a gentle and comforting smile.

'Who's Ashley?' Sam and Helen both turned to look at Cassie.

'My daughter,' Helen answered, her eyes veiling over a little bit. 'She once got rather aggressive with a man she thought was too flirtatious with me.'

Sam laughed and she shared a smile with Helen, knowing that she did not need to say the words for Helen to know what she was thinking. She would have done the same thing though her anger would have a whole other reason. She wasn't a jealous person but she had to admit that seeing men – or women for that matter – flirt with Helen did rub her the wrong way and she had to keep herself in check so she would not lash out. She knew that Helen's job involved some charming and seduction and that part would not be achieved if Helen's jealous girlfriend got in the way.

Besides, she knew Helen would not cheat on her. They had never said anything about being exclusive and, for a while, they had been nothing more than friends with benefits and neither one could fathom not being with someone else. But, after a while, when they had grown closer and closer, they had also pushed away any thought of not being completely and utterly faithful. Since then, just as much as she knew she wouldn't be with anyone but Helen, she was convinced that Helen did not plan on being with anyone but her.

'Smart girl,' Cassie decided.

'She was.'

'Was?'

'She died a short while ago. She would have been about your age.'

'Oh,' Cassie breathed. 'I'm so sorry about that.'

Helen nodded solemnly, her eyes dark and pained. Out of reflex, Sam reached out a hand, gently brushing it over the back of Helen's hand, waiting for her to turn it over, linking their fingers when she did. She squeezed it warmly and comfortingly, knowing that the only thing she could do was show Helen her love and her support and remind her, over and over again, that she was here for Helen and that she would not be leaving anytime soon. They exchanged a smile. Sam lifted their hands and kissed the back of Helen's hand, keeping her lips pressed there for a few long moments. When they finally tore their eyes from each other, Sam noticed that Cassie had been looking at them the whole time. She smiled sheepishly at the girl, shrugging. Cassie only smiled brighter.

'Okay, I think you two have made your point. It's still weird to see you like this.'

'Like what?' Sam asked, frowning, her thumb rubbing circles on the back of Helen's hand. Cassie shrugged and wrinkled her nose.

'I don't know,' Cassie answered honestly. 'With a woman, for one. It never crossed my mind that you would ever be with anyone but a man so this is a little shocking. And I've rarely seen you this happy. And definitely never with Pete. I kind of never really expected you to let yourself be happy.' Sam cringed. She looked over to Helen and felt her face pull into a tender smile. She leaned over and pecked Helen's soft lips.

'I didn't know I could be this happy.'

'You know, some would say that the only reason you turned to a woman is because you were never satisfied by a man and never found true love with a man.'

Sam rolled her eyes. She leaned forward to set her cup back on the coffee table, doing the same with Helen's when she handed Sam her cup. She leaned back and rested her head on Helen's shoulder, deciding that she definitely wanted her cuddle time. And since Cassie had clearly decided that Helen was a good choice, she would not mind them showing their affection and being a regular couple. At least, Sam would not have to reprimand her for glaring at Helen every chance she got, the way she had done with Pete.

'Except I still thought I would end up with Jack when I started falling in love with Helen.'

Cassie nodded but did not say any more. No doubt she had been a little annoyed when Sam gave every indication that she would be meeting her boyfriend who, obviously, would not be Jack. The young woman still thought that the two of them should have gotten together after so many years of unfulfilled love and lust. Maybe seeing how good she was with Helen would convince her that she was not meant to be with Jack and that they had all been wrong and made mistakes when it came to them. At least she hoped that her brunette darling would not be seen by her friends as a simple competition to Jack.

Sam tried to shake those thoughts away, knowing that she tended to get a bit overly panicky and paranoid when she thought about how her friends would welcome Helen and their relationship. At least, the fact that it had gone well with Cassie comforted her, if only a tiny little bit. Sam pouted and looked up when Helen suddenly pushed to her feet, rattling and dislodging Sam, forcing her to find a new – and necessarily less comfortable – position. Helen smiled apologetically.

'Sorry, love. I have to go to the loo.' Sam nodded and watched the brunette leave before turning back to Cassie.

'Enough about me-'

'You always think we talk too much about your love life,' Cassie interrupted teasingly. Sam glared.

'Yes, well. I'm the woman who's like your mum and I wanna know more about this Ethan boy. Speak.' Cassie blushed all the way to her ears and Sam grinned affectionately. 'You, my girl, are in love. And it's very cute. Come on, speak. If you get to judge whether my girlfriend is good enough for me, I get to decide if Ethan is good enough for you.' Cassie chuckled, her face still bright red.

'You know your opinion of Ethan won't change my opinion of him.' Sam nodded.

'Your opinion of Helen wouldn't have changed my love for her. I'm just glad you get along with the woman I love.' Cassie grinned. 'I guess we're even.' Cassie looked down at her hands, wringing her fingers and Sam thought that the last time she had seen the girl this nervous had been just before her first Earth school play.

'Promise you won't mock?'

'What? Of course I won't mock you, Cassie. Why would I?' Cassie shrugged.

'He's just not your regular guy and I really like him.' Sam grinned and motioned for Cassie to continue. 'Well, he's got that cute, booklover look going and he's really smart. He's been helping me study and we found that we get along really well. He's shy and quiet but, once you get to know him, he's really smart and he can talk for hours about really fascinating things. Well, I guess he just makes things fascinating because he gets so into them when they interest him.'

She looked up at Sam with a dreamy smile, her cheeks still tinted a healthy pink. Sam pushed to her feet and walked over to Cassie. She leaned down and pressed a kiss to the top of her head. They both turned for an instant when Helen walked back into the living room, slightly hesitant, clearly wondering if she was interrupting a conversation. Cassie offered her a small smile which Helen returned before claiming the seat Sam had just vacated while Sam crouched down in front of Cassie.

'You're in love, sweetie. Are you two still just friends or did you do something about it?' The blush returning on Cassie's cheeks was all the answer she needed.

'He took me to the airport to come here and we kissed. And it was sweet and awesome and I almost missed the plane because I didn't want to stop hugging him.'

'Aw, Cassie,' Sam crooned, her hand moving to cup the girl's cheek, smiling at her. Her skin was warm from the blush which only made Sam smile brighter.

'He's really, really sweet. I don't really know what he sees in me.'

'No?'

'Well, he's cute and insanely smart – kind of like you – and really sweet. He could get any girl who takes even a second to see past the fact that he's shy and likes to read and has amazing grades.'

'And you don't think you could get any guy you want?'

'He says I could. He says that I'm incredibly beautiful and way smarter than I let myself believe. And he says he likes that I'm more socially adept than him and that I understand people and am really kind and generous and helpful.'

'He's a keeper.'

'I know. I know I said I missed home but, now that I'm here, I can't stop thinking about him and I just want to go back and be in his arms.' Sam smiled at that, pulling Cassie into her arms. 'I really, really like him, Sam,' Cassie whispered into her ear and Sam shook her head.

'You're in love with him. You've never talked like that about a guy. You've never looked so dreamy when talking about a guy. And, most of all, you've never blushed so much.' Cassie laughed and slapped Sam's back. Sam laughed. 'I'm happy for you, Cassie. I'm happy you've found someone you love and who loves you and who makes you smile so much. And I've only got your biased love struck opinion of him but he sounds like a really good guy.'

'He is. He keeps sending me cute little texts and he always gets out of his way – literally and metaphorically – to see me and make me smile at least once a day.'

'That's good.' Sam smiled and pulled Cassie into a hug, pressing a long kiss to her temple. 'Go for it,' she breathed against the girl's skin, keeping her arms tight around her until Cassie loosened her hold somewhat.

'Thanks, Sam. I'm glad to have you,' Cassie admitted with a shy smile. Sam grinned brightly and kissed Cassie's forehead once.

'I'm glad to have you too, Cass.'

The shy smile turned into a grin that mirrored Sam's. They were both silent for a few moments, simply smiling at each other. Sam was pretty sure she could feel Helen's gaze on her, fond and amused with a hint of pain and regret. Or at least she suspected that was how Helen would be looking at them, she corrected herself, when she came to the somewhat frightening realisation that she did not even need to see Helen to know the look in her eye and the feelings in her heart. She focused on Cassie again and they both broke down into a fit of giggles. Sam shook her head when they calmed down and Cassie bit her lip, shooting one look over Sam's shoulder, smiling lightly.

'I think I'm going to head to bed,' she informed.

Sam didn't say anything but she did let a momentary frown appear on her face. Cassie did look tired but she suspected her going to bed had a lot to do with Helen being here and Cassie wanting to give the couple some alone time. Sam nodded and kissed Cassie's forehead again. The young woman stood up and Sam followed her, groaning and feeling more than a few articulations pop, her knees and spine shooting shards of pain through her body and limbs.

'Oh, bloody Hell,' she breathed.

Her hand moved to her lower back and she stood immobile for a beat as she waited for the radiating pain to dissipate. Once it was gone, she noticed that Cassie was frowning at her, a definite look of concern in her eyes. Sam offered her a small reassuring smile and turned around to meet Helen's equally concerned but slightly amused eyes.

'Bloody Hell?' She quoted and Sam realised she had used her lover's usual exclamation. She blushed slightly.

'Shut up.' Helen laughed and Sam felt her cheeks heat up some more.

'I think it's cute,' the brunette commented and Sam playfully glared at her as Cassie laughed behind her. Sam turned to look at her.

'I think you're cute. Both of you. And now I'm off to bed,' she stated, confirming her words by immediately fleeing the room. Sam shook her head and made her way over to Helen, shooting her a questioning look when she stood up. Helen smiled and kissed the corner of Sam's lips, her hand moving to the small of Sam's back, applying a little bit of pressure.

'I think we'll be better in bed,' Helen explained quietly.

Sam tried hard not to be offended. She had known when she had first gotten involved with Helen that, eventually, she would really feel the physical weight of age while Helen would remain young and beautiful. But that did not make seeing and experiencing the first signs of age any easier on her. And she felt more than a bit selfish about that; she knew how hard living forever was on Helen. How could she complain about her own mortality when she knew that it would remind Helen of her immortality and pain her?

She allowed Helen to lead her towards the bedroom, turning off the lights as they went, deciding to shut off her thoughts and just enjoy her weekend. And it was a task easier achieved than she expected. She wasn't exactly known for being able to easily let go of something that was bothering her. But then again, they were getting ready for the night, settling into their very own rhythm and, before long, Sam was curled up under the blankets, waiting for Helen to join her. The brunette walked out of the bathroom and Sam's eyes followed her until she slipped under the covers.

Helen turned and they remained face to face for a few moments, grinning brightly. Sam was the first one to break and lean in to drop a few gently kisses on Helen's lips. She pressed herself against her lover's warm body and rested her forehead against Helen's. Every now and then, she pecked the soft lips again, smiling lazily when their noses bumped lightly. She snaked a leg between Helen's and felt a wave of exhaustion overcome her. She yawned and pressed herself closer to the curvy body, only then realising exactly how tired she was.

The day may have been pretty quiet but the same could not be said for the rest of the week. She hadn't gotten much sleep and she had not expected it to catch up with her when she was finally in bed, relaxing, resting in her partner's arms. She felt a series of kisses being dropped to the corner of her lips and her cheek. Sam sighed, moaning lowly when Helen nibbled at her jaw line and her hand flattened on Sam's back, pressing their bodies closer.

'You seem exhausted, love,' Helen breathed into Sam's ear.

Sam considered denying it for a second; she was never too tired for sex with Helen. But then again, she would be very content to curl up against Helen and fall asleep straight away. It really wouldn't take much. She would tuck her head under Helen's chin, her head resting on the brunette full breasts. Hearing the heartbeat would lull her to sleep and she would be asleep in barely a few seconds. And if Helen continued brushing her fingers through Sam's blonde hair, it would be even quicker. So, instead of mustering up energy she did not really have, she nodded against Helen's cheek.

'Sorry,' she slurred as Helen kissed her.

She parted her lips when Helen's tongue brushed over her lower lip and gently pushed into her mouth. The kiss was slow, lazy and languid and Sam sighed again. She pulled away, pecked Helen's lips one last time before inching down and resting her cheek against Helen's chest. She purred lightly when Helen's fingers started brushing through her hair again. She pressed one soft kiss to the middle of Helen's chest. A kiss was dropped to the top of her head in response and that was the last thing she felt before falling asleep.

When Sam woke up, she blinked a couple of times before looking over at the clock on the bedside table. It confirmed that it was still the middle of the night and they still could still get a good few hours of sleep. She closed her eyes, ready to go back to sleep but opened them again when she felt Helen's fingers twitch lightly where they were resting, very low on Sam's abdomen. She turned her head to look at the other woman in the bed. The strap of her nightgown had slipped down her shoulder and Sam could clearly see the very enticing swell of her breast, her hair was slightly tussled, her lips were parted just a bit and Sam could not help but think that she looked utterly sexy.

She leaned towards Helen and kissed her a few times, closing her eyes again. A small smile tugged at her lips when Helen sighed and Sam felt some pressure from Helen's fingers. Her hands moved to brush back a few dark locks before it cupped the pale cheek. She nibbled lightly at Helen's lower lip before pushing her tongue into Helen's mouth. The brunette immediately responded and her hand moved from Sam's belly up to her breast, cupping it and kneading it gently. Their tongues battled for a few long moments though they were both sleepy and lazy. Sam moaned into Helen's mouth and arched her back slightly, pushing her breast against the massaging hand.

Sam mustered up just enough energy to roll Helen onto her back and settle down on top of her, straddling her. She reclaimed the soft lips and resumed the kiss without giving Helen the slightest chance to start something else. Although she really didn't seem to mind if the way her hands moved to tangle in Sam's hair were any indication. Her tongue was slowing making love to Sam's and she pulled Sam down just enough to make sure she wasn't going anywhere. Not that Sam had any intention of doing so. Her hands trailed over Helen's sides, brushing the soft breasts on their way up. Sam's thumbs passed over Helen's nipples but did not stay there. Instead, Sam pushed the thin strap that had remained on Helen's shoulder down before her hands continued up to cup Helen's cheeks.

The kiss remained slow and lazy, their hands roaming over familiar curves. Helen's hands settle on Sam's butt, holding her tight as Sam brushed back Helen's dark hair. Finally, she was the one to pull away, pecking the soft and slightly swollen lips repeatedly.

'That, my sweet darling, is a delightful way to be awoken,' Helen whispered, her lips brushing Sam's. She reclaimed Sam's lips for another long and lazy kiss. 'Is there a specific reason for it?'

'Well, I thought you would have figured it out by now,' Sam huskily murmured back.

She pecked Helen's lips one last time before trailing kisses over her cheek and down her neck. But, instead of continuing down as she knew Helen hoped and expected, she moved back up the other side, her tongue darting out to lick her lover's earlobe. She playfully bit it once, laughing as Helen slapped her butt lightly.

'I did say I wasn't going for a whole weekend with you without making love to you.' Helen chuckled and lifted her head to press a kiss to Sam's shoulder.

'That wasn't a weekend. In fact, it's not even been twelve hours since I arrived.' Sam bit the side of Helen's neck.

'Who said anything about only making love once?'

'Hm,' Helen hummed, 'is that a promise?'

'Oh, yes.'

Sam leaned back and prompted Helen to sit up with her by lightly tugging at the edges of the nightgown. It had ridden up slightly so once they were both seated, their fronts pressed together, Sam straddling Helen's lap, all she had to do was pull it up and over Helen's head. She dropped it behind her on the bed and leaned in to kiss the brunette once again, her tongue caressing Helen's lower lip, begging for entry which she was promptly granted. Helen's hands slipped under Sam's shirt and pulled as close as possible before stroking her back in long and slow moves.

Sam grumbled into Helen's mouth when she was forced to pull away so Helen could remove her tank top. But the feeling of Helen's naked breasts against hers made up for the momentary loss. She sighed and slipped her tongue back into Helen's mouth, curling it around hers and resuming the fiery dance.

Though they were both heating up and their kisses were getting a bit more hurried and frenzied, this was still much slower and leisurely than Sam was used to with the beautiful Briton. Not that they weren't always tender and affectionate when they made love. She couldn't quite define what it was but she liked it very much. The closest they had ever come to this was when they had sex right after they woke up and still, it was only a fraction of what they were experiencing right then. She pulled away just enough that she could rest her forehead against Helen's, her eyes still closed. Her hands caressed Helen's oh-so soft back.

She brushed soft and light kisses on Helen's eye lids. She arched her back, pressing her chest tighter against her lover's, and gasped when Helen's fingernails scratched her lower back, sending waves of pleasure through her body and down to her centre. She moaned lowly when Helen continued scratching at the skin and did so again when she suddenly pressed the heels of her hands on each side of Sam's spine, rubbing the taught muscles. Helen took advantage of Sam having thrown her head back to lick at the hollow of her throat and down her chest.

'God,' Sam breathed as Helen's left hand hit and worked on a particularly sore spot.

She felt the knot loosen and almost sagged into Helen's arms at the mixed sensations of pain and relief coursed through her body. Helen's lips feathered kisses all over her chest as her hands continued working on the sore and tensed muscles of Sam's back. Sam let out more gasps and low moans as Helen's hands blindly moved from her lower back all the way to her shoulders, taking their sweet time to massage and loosen all the tight and tense muscles that said a lot about Sam's job. Helen stopped there and Sam almost whimpered and begged her to continue but she realised just in time that the two of them facing each other was not the best position for Helen to massage her shoulders. Which was probably the main reason Helen had interrupted the sweet, _sweet_ torture.

Helen was still peppering kisses over her skin and Sam decided that she had never felt as cherished as she was feeling at that moment. Which was saying a lot because Helen definitely had a gift to make her feel loved, cherished and adored, to make her feel like a princess who had everything in the world. She sighed and lifted her head again, opening her heavy lids to look at Helen. She leaned in and kissed her lips once before pulling back to look at her again.

'That felt amazing,' she murmured, her voice deep and a bit raspy.

Helen grinned up at her but Sam did not give her time to answer before pushing her back down on the bed. She curled a hand around the back of Helen's neck and started kissing her way down to Helen's chest as her other hand caressed Helen's abdomen before slipping into Helen's underwear. Her fingers caressed lightly and she smiled against Helen's chest.

'You're as aroused as I am,' Sam commented, her tongue darting out to lick a particularly enticing freckle on the swell of her breast.

'Well, you were rather sexy just then,' Helen gasped.

Her back arched slightly, her hips rocking against Sam's fingers, trying to push her breast towards Sam's mouth. But Sam disregarded both hints and meticulously kissed each millimetre of Helen's breast, circling around the peaked nipple but never touching it. Her fingers slipped back out of her underwear and she slowly tugged it down, momentarily removing her lips from Helen's skin as they both worked on removing Helen's underwear. Sam threw them over her shoulder and settled down between Helen's parted legs as she returned her attention to Helen's chest, focusing on the other breast and giving it the same treatment as the first one.

Her hands rubbed Helen's thighs and sides and she chuckled against her chest when she rocked her hips against Sam, trying to get her to return her attention to her centre. She ignored her silent begging, smiling when the long fingers curled around the back of her head, trying to, at least, divert her attention towards her nipple.

'Samantha!' She all but growled.

'Yes, darling?' Sam asked.

It wasn't the first time she used that endearment towards Helen, the one that the Briton usually used for her, but it always slipped out before she could notice and it always surprised them both a little bit. The first time, Helen had teased her to no end. Well, until Sam had shut her up. Sam smiled cheekily up at Helen. She pressed a sweet kiss in the valley of her breasts before moving back up and reclaiming Helen's lips. She barely even noticed Helen's hands trailing down her back and momentarily settling on her backside again. Barely an instant later, they slipped under Sam's shorts and underwear. It wasn't long before she was pushing them down Sam's hips and legs. Sam helped her push them down.

One of her hands came to rest on Helen's thigh to pull it up and around her waist. She continued caressing it before finally moving it back to where she knew Helen wanted her the most. She gasped when Helen's own hand slipped between their bodies and between Sam's legs, her fingers brushing her lightly but expertly.

'Good Heavens, woman,' Helen breathed, 'I should give you back rubs more often.' Sam purred, rocking her hips against Helen's fingers.

'You won't see me complaining.'

'Clearly.' Sam cried out when Helen's fingers unexpectedly slipped inside her.

It wasn't that she minded. Quite on the contrary. And it wasn't that she wasn't ready. They had already established that she was well past ready. It was just that she had not expected the lovely and pleasurable intrusion to come so soon and without the slightest warning. Although, the backrub had probably been warning and foreplay enough. She moaned as she pushed her hips against Helen's fingers.

'Oh, God,' she breathed, 'we have to be quiet.'

She let out another moan as the fingers inside her brushed over a particularly sweet spot. God but the woman knew how to play her far too well. Deciding that Helen was definitely ready enough, she stroke in the same surprising and unexpected fashion, her fingers slipping inside Helen's body just as Helen's fingers brushed said spot once more. They both moaned loudly and Sam dropped her head to Helen's shoulder, a fit of giggles growing in her chest. Helen's free hand came to rest on the back of her head as Sam giggled into her shoulder.

'I'm sorry,' she hiccupped through her laughter.

'Oh, no, love,' Helen responded, her voice equally filled with amusement. 'At least you are comfortable enough with me to laugh during sex.' Sam looked up, still smiling.

'We've been together for years; I should hope that I'm comfortable with you.' Helen grinned and pecked Sam's lips, pushing her fingers into Sam with a particularly long and hard stroke. Sam cried out, immediately hiding her face against Helen's shoulder again, groaning lowly. 'We really do have to be quiet though,' Sam reminded. Helen laughed.

'You're the one who's making the most noise, darling,' she pointed out.

Sam groaned and rocked her hips against Helen's fingers. Sam felt a rush of heat through her lower belly when they both sighed at once. Their fingers were exploring very familiar territory and though Sam was always in awe at how well Helen knew her body, knew what it took to get her off, she knew the Briton just as well and could work her in the same way. And it seemed this night was not only about tenderness, affection, sleepy and lazy love, it was also about seeing who would get off the quickest.

She pressed her lips against Helen's shoulder, biting without breaking the skin, her tongue darting out to lick it. She knew she would leave a hickey but unless Helen started walking around in tank tops with thin sleeves, it would be hidden and only Sam would see it. Besides, Sam was really not fond of Cassie waking up to their making love and she was convinced that she could not hold back her moans and cries. Not when Helen had taken it upon herself to work her as well and quick as possible.

But she would not go down alone. After all, when she had decided against going back to sleep right away, she had not really thought about her own pleasure; it was Helen she had cared about and she had been determined to see her lover in the throes of pleasure. If she got off too, it was only a bonus point. So she was not going to let Helen be the only one to have her fun. Her fingers found the one spot inside Helen that never, ever failed to get her off very quickly. She moved and covered Helen's lips with her own just before she brushed said spot, smiling as she swallowed Helen's cry.

Sam resisted the urge to mention that she was not the only one making noise but only because Helen had retaliated – or expected her move – and worked Sam with equal fervour causing her to moan into Helen's mouth as their tongue mirrored their hands and battled for power. Sam whimpered when Helen's free hand slipped over her back, around her side and found one of her nipples, working it in synch with the hand between her legs.

'No fair,' Sam slurred against Helen's lips, deepening the kiss again before she made her point. 'You've got two free hands;' she continued, kissing the swollen lips again, 'if I use both my hands I'll squish you.'

The words were barely out of her mouth before they were kissing again. She could feel Helen grinning against her lips and she put just that much more strength and energy to her fingers' moves. Sam groaned and rocked her hips some more. She did not complain anymore as she felt herself grow closer and closer and she felt the first inklings of orgasm. Her lips moved over Helen's cheek with sloppy kisses. She bit and nibbled her way down Helen's neck just as the brunette's lips settled on her shoulder. Sam smiled somewhat drunkenly against Helen's skin, knowing that Helen was just as close as she was and that they would both have similar marks on their shoulders.

She barely had the time to settle her lips over the reddening mark on Helen's shoulder before she cried out as the overwhelming wave hit her. Her fingers kept moving inside Helen's body and she was just coming down from the high when she gently and carefully scratched the magic spot and she felt Helen contracting around her fingers. Sam heard her let out a cry despite it being muffled by Sam's shoulder.

Sam massaged Helen through her own orgasm, sagging against the soft body, her fingers only slipping out when the woman under her was breathing heavily. One of her hands returned to Sam's back and the other one settled on her butt, gently kneading it. Sam kissed the mark on Helen's pale skin, licking it a couple of times before pressing a few feather light kisses to it. She rolled off Helen's body, resting her head on her lover's shoulder. Her arm curled around Helen's waist and she kissed the skin of her neck. Helen, in turn, pressed her lips to the top of Sam's head.

Sam sighed happily into Helen's neck when the manicured fingernails started gently scratching along her spine before the fingers caressed her skin. A shiver ran through her at the sensation. She pouted when Helen pulled away a bit, laughter bubbling up in her chest when her brunette lover dug under the blankets and came up with Sam's shorts and underwear. They both smirked and Helen threw it towards the chair in the corner of the room, taking the time to throw her own nightgown there as well. She slipped back under the covers and Sam was all too happy to curl herself against the warm and curvy body again.

'Will you be able to sleep now?' Helen breathed into Sam's ear. Sam hummed.

'Sleeping wasn't the problem. This was just way too tempting.'

'Happy to be of help.' Sam chuckled.

'That wasn't so much help as me being happy to have you in my bed.'

They smiled at each other for a while and Sam pulled herself up to kiss Helen's lips. Their bodies were pressed together, barely separated by a breath, their arms were wrapped around each other and their legs tangled. Sam's toes were playfully wiggling against Helen's calf. She rested her head on Helen's pillow, their noses brushing slightly, and did not move again until much later that morning.

* * *

><p>The above-mentioned chronology:<p>

Chapter 1: set at the very end of season 7 of _Stargate SG-1_, after Janet dies but before Jack becomes General.

Chapter 2: set in mid season 2 of _Sanctuary_.

Chapter 3: set in late season 2 of _Sanctuary_.

Chapter 4: set in early season 3 of _Sanctuary_.

In this fic, the timeline follows the real life one so seasons 9 and 10 of _Stargate SG-1_ did happen, as did season 4 of Stargate Atlantis. By the time we're in season 2 of _Sanctuary_, 5 years have actually passed, just like for us and Amanda Tapping.

I hope this clears things up a little bit. If not, you're always welcome to ask me questions if you have any.


	5. Chapter 5

Hello. :)

And, chapter 5. Which contains **spoilers for **_**Carentan**_. It's the only chapter containing spoilers and they have very little impact on the rest of the story.

Let me know what you think about it.

Enjoy. :)

**Chapter 5**

Sam rested her head on Jack's shoulder and took in the sight in front of her with a lazy smile. Since Jack had sold his house, her place had become the headquarters for team nights. They were far and few between but, for once, they had managed to all be in Colorado Springs at the same time, and not because of some intergalactic crisis. She sighed, content. She caught herself quickly. She wasn't content. She was happy. For the first time in her life, she was truly happy. Certainly, things had room to get better but they were already pretty fabulous.

The SGC had been hers for nearly a year and she had found her footing and a rhythm that suited everybody. She still had her close friends though they were somewhat scattered all over the place. But it had been like that for several years so she was used to it. She had Helen. The thought of the beautiful brunette – her beautiful brunette – brought a smile to her face. She had Helen, and she had Jack.

She thought back to how they had gotten where they were. After her father's death, after she had broken up with Pete, after they had been transferred – her to Area 51, him to Homeworld Security – they had tried to make something work. They had gone on a few lovely dates, they had exchanged quite a few kisses and hugs, they had even slept together. It had been impossibly awkward and not nearly as pleasant as either of them had hoped. Being in his arms felt good. It always had and she knew it always would. But they weren't made to be a couple. Not anymore.

The following morning, they had agreed that they were becoming very close friends rather than lovers. Too much time had passed, too much water under the bridge. And Sam had, later on, admitted to herself that a certain British beauty had stolen her heart and settled in for the long haul. The next couple of times they had met had been awkward but the physical distance had helped and they had gotten over it quickly, settling into a close and comfortable friendship. So much so, that he had once asked her why she seemed happier when they talked after weekends when she had either been away or busy. Sam hadn't been able to keep the truth from him and had told him about Helen, about their weekends and their time together, about her growing feelings and how perfect she thought she and Helen were for each other.

It was only when she had seen the shock on his face that she had realised she had just admitted to a superior officer that she was in a relationship with another woman. They had stared straight into each other's eyes for a moment until Jack had leaned forward, grabbed her hands and squeezed them, promising he would support her all the way and that all he wanted for her was to be happy, which she clearly was. What she had revealed as a friend, he would not disclose as a superior officer. She meant far too much to him and he could not, for the life of him, imagine betraying her and their friendship in such a horrible manner. Since then, he had learnt more about their relationship and he had even walked in on one of their weekends.

_As usual, Jack used his key to let himself into her house. Despite her shock and slight embarrassment, Sam almost laughed at the look on his face when he saw them. Then again, he had just walked in on Sam in nothing but boxer shorts and a tank top having breakfast with – a very sexy – Helen who wore a thin and short nightgown and Sam's untied satin robe. _

'_Guess I should have knocked,' Jack stuttered. Sam smiled._

'_Guess you should have. Tea?' She offered, setting her cup down and standing up, letting her fingers trail over Helen's shoulders as she walked past. _

'_Got scotch?' Sam rolled her eyes at him. 'Hey, give me some credit, would you? I just found my gorgeous former second in command having breakfast with her equally gorgeous girlfriend. It's confusing as Hell.' Sam laughed. She could see Helen trying to hide her grin in her cup of tea._

'_It's 8am; you're not getting scotch. Coffee?'_

'_Fine. Yes, please.' Sam nodded, playfully glaring at Helen when she pulled a face at the mention of coffee._

'_General O'Neill,' Helen finally greeted. _

'_Dr. Magnus.'_

'_I think, given the circumstances, you may call me Helen.'_

'_Right. Helen. Call me Jack.'_

'_Have you had breakfast?' Sam asked._

'_Nope. I was going to take you out for breakfast.' Sam smiled again and took to making something for him without needing to ask what he would want. 'Hey,' he exclaimed. 'Since when do you cook?'_

They had spent the rest of the morning together and, eventually, had gotten over the awkwardness. Shortly before lunch, when Sam had stretched out on the couch, resting her head on Helen's lap, he hadn't even blinked. Helen and Jack had met a few times since and Sam could never get over the feeling of being a real couple out with one of her best friends to whom they did not have to lie about their relationship.

Sam realised she was drifting off against Jack's shoulder when she heard the doorbell go off. She let out a low moan and opened her eyes.

'I'll go,' Jack breathed against the top of her head, his lips lightly brushing her hair.

Sam moved her head off his shoulder to let him stand. A few moments later, Jack wasn't back and she could hear the soft sound of voices coming through the houses and into the backyard where she was sitting with Daniel, Teal'c, Cam and Vala. It had been long enough since she took part in the conversation that she barely apologised before pushing to her feet to go see who was keeping Jack. She reached the hallway and her eyebrows shot up. Jack was leaning away from Helen, having just kissed her cheek, the way he always did to greet the two of them.

'Helen,' Sam exclaimed, her lips pulling into a smile despite her surprise.

'Hello, darling,' Helen greeted back with a small, slightly shy smile which Sam was not used to seeing on her. 'Is this the bad time?'

'Absolutely not. But I didn't expect to see you. I was in Old City last weekend,' she reminded, stepping up to her and allowing Helen to press a soft kiss to her lips. One of Helen's hands snaked in hers and Sam felt her heart accelerating. _Something was wrong._

'I'll just go back outside,' Jack mumbled. Sam turned around.

'Jack,' she called. He looked at her questioningly. 'The others-' she paused biting her lower lip. 'They don't know.'

'Okay,' was all he said. He nodded at them before walking away. Sam turned back to Helen and moved a hand to cup her cheek.

'What's going on?' She breathed. 'Are you okay?'

Helen nodded though it was obvious that she was only pretending to be fine and that she was just about ready to break down. Her lower lip quivered a bit and her resolve broke. She shook her head, pulling Sam against her and pressing her face against Sam's neck. Sam's heart clenched and she slipped her arms around Helen's body, holding her as close as possible. She realised then that Helen had to be wearing flat shoes because they were the same height. She held Helen tight for a few long moments, wondering what could possibly have rattled her so much.

'I needed to see you,' Helen sighed into her neck. She pulled away slightly and Sam searched her face, noticing that Helen would not look at her. 'I can't talk to Will. He won't understand. No one will. No one but you.' Sam frowned and lifted her hands to frame Helen's face. The brunette looked up and Sam felt her heart clench again.

'Helen, what happened?'

'You have guests, don't you?' Sam's frown deepened at the sudden change of subject.

'What?'

'It's a long story. I can't keep you from your guests.'

'Helen, they're my family. If I put an end to the team night because you need me, they'll understand. Something is obviously bothering you and if you need me then that's what matters the most to me.' Helen leaned in and kissed Sam.

'That's alright, darling. It can wait a while.'

'Helen-'

'Yes, I'm sure. I'm feeling a little bit better now that I'm near you.' Sam smiled and pulled Helen back into her arms, gently kissing her cheek. When she pulled away, she pressed a warm kiss to Helen's forehead.

'Okay, then. You're welcome to join us. You know Jack. And you've met Daniel and Teal'c. You'll get to meet Vala and Cam.'

'How could I pass up the opportunity to finally meet Vala of whom I've heard so much?' Sam chuckled, smiling when she saw Helen's features relaxing slightly. 'Do you think I could change into comfortable clothes first?' Sam took an instant to look her over, noticing that she was wearing black jeans, a blue button down shirt, a black cardigan and black ballerinas. That outfit usually qualified as "comfortable wear" in Helen's dictionary.

'Of course. If you need anything, you know where to find it,' she added, pecking Helen's lips. The brunette picked up her duffle bag and smiled at Sam once before starting down the hallway towards the bedroom. Sam stopped her half way. 'Helen?' She turned around. 'You will tell me what's bothering you, right? You've got me worried now.'

'I will, love. It's why I came here.'

They exchanged a smile and Helen turned back around, heading for the bedroom. Sam made her way back outside and sat back down, noticing that Jack had vacated his seat, no doubt expecting Helen to join them. He frowned when he saw Sam alone but waited for her to be seated before asking.

'Did you kick her out or something?' Sam smiled and shook her head.

'She's changing. She'll be here in a moment.'

'Who?' Vala asked, frowning.

'Helen Magnus,' Jack simply said.

'Why does that name ring a bell?' Daniel wondered.

'Because you met her. Several years ago. General Hammond asked her to come to the SGC to offer her expertise on an abnormal creature we'd found on P4C-970.'

'Of course! I remember her, now. British, classy and elegant, brunette, blue eyes, beautiful. I had no idea you had kept in touch with her.'

Sam nodded and looked over her shoulder when she heard the movement behind her. She smiled at Helen, biting her lip when she noticed that Helen had grabbed one of Sam's yoga pants. They were a bit snugger on her and Sam enjoyed the sight very much, taking in the curves she knew and loved so much. Helen took in the available space and sat down next to Sam.

'Hey, Sam, aren't those your yoga pants?' Vala piped up. Sam smiled and turned to her.

'They are. Helen and I have borrowed clothes from each other countless times. My closet's her closet and _vice versa_. Helen, you know Jack. You remember Daniel and Teal'c, right?' Helen nodded.

'Of course. It's lovely to meet you again.'

'The guy who's ogling you is Colonel-soon-to-be-General Cameron Mitchell and Miss Piggy tails is Vala Mal Doran,' Sam introduced, smiling back when Vala grinned at the nickname.

She send a playfully warning glare Cam's way when she noticed he was about to argue he hadn't been ogling. Helen chuckled and Sam turned to look at her. One glance at her smiling face and Sam felt her stomach knot at the fact that her best friends did not know how much Helen really meant to her. She made a swift and sudden decision and spoke up before she could think about what she was doing.

'Guys – and girl – Dr. Helen Magnus. She and I have been seeing each other for the past seven years. Or so.' The concert of raised eyebrows and dropped jaws was to be expected. Sam bit her lip.

'Yeah. I kind of expected that.' Helen patted her knee gently.

'I've known you to be more subtle, love.'

'I know. But if I'd thought before speaking I wouldn't have said it.'

'Fair enough.'

'Seeing each other as in-?' Cam finally started, making vague hand motions for her to explain.

'As in not doctor-patient.'

'Right.' A mischievous glint appeared in his eyes and Sam knew what he was going to say before he even started. 'I didn't know you'd-'

'Don't say it, Cam,' she pointlessly warned, closing her eyes tightly as if it would keep her from hearing the words.

'-crossed to the other side,' he finished. Sam whimpered before opening her eyes again.

'Thank you, Cam. Now I will have that image in mind all the time while I work.'

'How is that a problem?' Helen asked with a cheeky grin. Sam's eyebrows shot up and she turned to look at her. She glared at Helen but that did nothing to keep the grin off her face.

'You think you're being cute, don't you?'

'Actually, I do.'

Sam shook her head, smiling and barely keeping herself from saying that Helen was, indeed, cute. It was a side she was well aware existed in Helen but that she was not too used to seeing. Most of the time, she was faced with the beautiful, smart, sexy Helen who was incredibly strong but sometimes needed someone with whom to drop the walls.

'But, Sam,' Vala half whined. Sam tore her eyes from Helen and turned to look at her, 'I thought you were sleeping with General Hottie here,' she complained, pointing at Jack whose eyebrows shot up at the nickname.

'I'm not. What gave you that idea?' She asked, turning to look at Jack. They shared one look that confirmed he was just as surprised as she was.

'Well you talk on the phone so often. And just before Helen arrived you were being all cuddly.' Sam laughed.

'We're just friends, Vala. I only put my head on his shoulder. Had Daniel been sitting next to me, I would have done the same.' Vala pulled a face for an instant before looking up with a bright grin. 'Uh oh.'

'Can I have him?' Sam burst out laughing.

'Yes!' Daniel exclaimed at once causing Sam to laugh even harder.

'Do I even get a say?' Jack mumbled.

The whole group laughed and grinned for a few moments and, confident that her coming out – it felt weird to associate that term with herself – had gone as well as possible, Sam leaned against Helen until their shoulders were resting against one another. She slipped her hand into Helen's and looked up at her with a bright and happy grin. She was about to lean in and kiss her but she decided against it at the last second. She would give her friends time to adjust to the idea of Helen and her before she kissed her in front of them. Small steps.

'Seven years, huh?' Daniel said, finally speaking. Sam turned to look at him, her fingers still tangled with Helen's. The weight of the warm hand in hers as she talked to her best friends, her family, felt more incredible than she had ever thought it would.

'Give or take. We don't live near and we both have time consuming jobs so we don't see each other all that much.'

'You could have told us. Seven years is a long time to keep something like that a secret.' Sam and Jack looked at him pointedly. 'Okay, maybe not so much for you. I guess what I mean is that we're your family.'

'I know, Daniel. Don't Ask, Don't Tell was still in place,' she admitted after a while. 'I know Teal'c, Vala and you aren't military but do you really think I would be a General if it had been common knowledge that I'm romantically involved with a woman. Even now I'd rather it stays between us.'

'Fair point. Jack's known for a while though, right?' He pushed, looking back and forth between the two of them.

'I have. But believe me when I tell you that she freaked when she realised what she had just admitted and that I was still in her chain of command.'

'Daniel,' Sam started, 'I never meant to keep you out of my private life but I didn't really know how to say it. I wasn't really secretive about going away on weekends. I thought you would eventually ask and I wouldn't have lied about it. But you didn't ask and I didn't know how to tell you.' She bit her lip and felt Helen squeeze her hand gently. Finally, Daniel smiled at her.

'I don't care who you're seeing, Sam. As long as you're happy. I just wish I had known earlier that you are happy.'

'I know, Daniel. Thank you.' She turned to the one person who hadn't said a word yet. 'Teal'c?'

'I am in agreement with Daniel Jackson; I only wish you to be happy and it is not my place to judge whom you choose for companionship.' Sam chuckled.

'It's more than just companionship. But thanks. It means a lot to me.' He nodded slowly once.

'However, I believe it would be prudent to warn Dr. Magnus that, should Samantha get hurt, undomesticated equines will not keep us from hurting her.' Sam grinned and turned to look at Helen who simply blinked while SG-1 nodded.

'Wild horses. Wild horses won't stop them from hurting you. He's giving you the speech.'

'Ah. Good to know. I won't hurt her.' Sam grinned, her eyes moving over Helen's soft features.

'To Hell with small steps,' she said more to herself than anyone else.

Her free hand moved to cup Helen's cheek, turning her lover's face towards her. She leaned in and kissed her fully on the lips. The kiss was chaste though Sam did nibble gently at Helen's lower lip. She pulled back slightly, pressing her forehead against Helen's and looking straight into her surprised eyes.

'I love you so much,' she whispered, her voice just strong enough that she thought everyone had heard. But she didn't care. She stole another kiss from Helen's grinning lips before pulling away. Sam smiled sheepishly as she saw the looks on her former team members' faces. 'Hard to resist a beautiful woman.'

She settled against Helen again, fighting the urge to rest her head on Helen's shoulder and fall asleep right there. She was still concerned about Helen, wondering what had caused her to be distraught enough that she could not talk to Will and that the only person whom she could talk to was Sam. As the conversation started flowing again, focusing mostly on Jack's love life though he tried to stir the conversation in other directions, Sam looked at Helen's face, noticing that she was still tense and that her eyes wore a faraway look.

'Helen?' She called softly. 'You're not getting out of talking to me.' Helen nodded.

'I don't want to lose you, Samantha.' Sam frowned.

'You won't.'

'I'm more or less immortal. I will always lose the ones I love. Some people are much harder to let go.' Sam's heart clenched again.

'God, what happened to you?' Helen closed her eyes against the onslaught of emotion. 'Come on,' Sam breathed, pushing to her feet. Helen frowned but stood up as well. Sam turned to ask her team to clean up but she had barely started when Jack interrupted her.

'Go, Sam. We'll take care of this.'

'You sure?'

'Yes. Anyone with half an eye can see that something isn't right. Go.' Sam smiled and nodded. She stood behind Helen and rested her hands on her shoulders, gently pushing her towards the house.

'I've got tea, orange juice, milk, hot chocolate, wine, beer and a couple stronger alcohols. Do you want something?' Sam breathed into Helen's ear, feeling her shake her head.

'Just you.'

'That I can provide. Bedroom.'

A few minutes later, they were curled up in bed, under the covers and Sam held Helen tight against her. The brunette's head was tucked under her chin. Their legs were tangled and one of Helen's arms was tightly wrapped around Sam's back, her fingers curled into the fabric of Sam's shirt. One of Sam's hands had slipped under Helen's shirt and was caressing the soft and warm skin of her back, tracing her spine and ribs, sliding all the way down to the dip between her kidneys, rubbing away some of the tension. Her other hand was brushing Helen's hair gently. No matter how much she was teased about loving to play with the dark locks, she knew that Helen loved it when she did.

'I know that, to you, it's only been a week since we last saw each other but, during the week, I got stuck in a time bubble. For three hours of real world time. In the time bubble, nine months went by.' Sam's eyebrows shot up. 'We were struggling against time to escape and, in short, to keep the planet from tearing itself apart. Nine months and I kept being reminded that, once again, people I love will die and I'll be left to watch them die. Will-' Her voice broke and Sam felt warm wet tears drop onto her chest. She tightened her hold on Helen and held her closer, kissing the top of her head repeatedly. 'Will was worried about dying before we could find a solution. And I- God, Sam, I can't blame him for that but I'm so sick of being all alone because everybody dies.' Sam was silent for a moment, simply rocking the crying woman in her arms.

'There's more, isn't there?' She breathed. 'I know what it's like to be the last one standing. Not as much as you but I do. But, more than anything, I know you, love,' she whispered. 'I know you're thinking of giving up and finally thinking only of yourself. And I know it'll last a little while and then you'll feel guilty about it and you'll get back on your feet. But, this time, there's something else that's bothering. I know it.'

They lay in complete silence for a few moments and Sam thought she could discern some movement in her house. She did not pay attention to it, knowing that it would just be Vala and the guys cleaning up. She was pulled back in the bedroom completely when Helen pressed a warm kiss to the middle of Sam's chest and pulled away a little bit. Sam looked down but, before she could look into Helen's eyes, her lips were pulled into a soft kiss. Her eyes closed and she enjoyed the kiss, leaving Helen all the power and control, unable to hold back a moan or two.

When the brunette pulled away from her lips, they rested face to face, forehead against forehead. Helen had stretched herself so her face could be level with Sam's and the move had resulted in her being pressed even tighter against Sam. Sam enjoyed the feeling of the soft curves against her. The hand that had slipped under Helen's shirt moved down and she settled it low on her lover's back, her fingers sliding under the waistband of the yoga pants until they were brushing the top of Helen's underwear.

'Have you ever had to kill a group of _innocent_ people in order to save another?' Helen finally asked, her voice so low and quiet that Sam had a hard time hearing it and if it weren't for Helen's breath lightly brushing her lips, she would have doubted she had even spoken. Sam sighed.

'We've been put in that position several times. But, somehow, we've always managed to dodge the bullet and avoid actually doing it.' Helen nodded slowly before tucking herself back under Sam's chin.

'Lucky,' she mumbled. 'I've killed people. I've had people killed. You know that. But this is the first time I've had to kill hundreds of innocent people so that I could save six and a half billion others.' Sam frowned to herself and shook her head, knowing that Helen would feel the movement.

'I don't understand.'

'To get out of the time bubble, we had to destroy it.' Sam nodded.

'Obviously.'

'And destroying it caused everything that didn't exist before the time bubble to be destroyed as well.' Sam closed her eyes and sighed, tightening her hold on Helen.

'And you knew the consequences of pulling the trigger before you did.' Helen nodded. 'God. Honey, I am so sorry you were forced to do that.'

'For the most part, I did it for the right reasons.' Sam frowned and let a beat of silence pass, knowing that Helen would feel her confusion. And she did. 'We discovered that the time field grew exponentially. If we hadn't stopped it, in about two and a half weeks the planet would have been torn apart. We _had _to prevent that.'

'You did,' Sam breathed against the top of the brunette head.

'There is one thing I cannot deny. I might have tried to push the thought back as much as possible but it was still there. I couldn't bear the thought that I would never see you again. You and Henry. If we failed, the world would have ended and that was the main reason why it had to work. But, at the back of my mind, there was always the thought that it would mean I was stuck there alone and that I would not get to see you again.' Sam kissed Helen's head once before pulling away slightly to look into the teary blue eyes.

'Helen, you are one of the most selfless people I know.'

'Look who's talking.' Sam rolled her eyes.

'You are one of the most selfless people I know,' she repeated, more insistently this time. 'How could anyone ask you to forget every personal reason for coming back? The main reason you did it was that you knew it was necessary to save the world. And I know you know that and I know it doesn't make you feel any better but I'll say it anyway. You had no choice, love. You did the right thing. I know you feel like Hell and I know you'll never really get over that feeling. But it was the right thing to do. And it doesn't matter that you thought a little bit about your personal reasons for making it happen. Maybe wanting to see Henry and me again gave you just that necessary push to finish it.'

'You lied to me, didn't you? You have been in a similar situation,' Helen asked, lifting a hand to caress Sam's cheek and push a few blonde strands back.

'Not when I had to kill a whole group of innocent people to save another group. I've had to, knowingly, leave good men behind to save Earth. I knew they would die if I left them there but I had no choice. It doesn't make me feel any less crappy about leaving people to die.'

'Does it pass?'

'Feeling like Hell whenever you think about it? No, it doesn't. Wanting to die because you don't think you're any better than the person who died and because you don't see why you should live when they don't?' Helen sucked in a breath and Sam knew she'd hit the spot. 'Yes. With time, it does.' Helen nodded.

'You're right, though, darling; it doesn't make me feel any better.'

'I know. Eventually, it'll pass. I promise.'

They were silent for a while, simply revelling in their closeness. Sam dropped sweet and soft pecks on Helen's lips every now and then. She playfully pulled away when Helen tried to kiss her back and seal their lips into a deeper kiss. She giggled against Helen's lips when she found herself flat on her back with Helen straddling her hips keeping a firm hold on Sam's wrists. Sam laughed and turned her head to the side so Helen's lips collided with her cheek rather than her lips.

'Bloody tease,' Helen breathed, attacking the side of Sam's neck, nipping and gently biting the delicate skin.

She kept up the delicious torture for a few moments before sitting back, letting go of Sam's wrists, allowing her hands to slip down Sam's sides. She closed her eyes and sighed. Sam lifted a hand to Helen's face, cupping her cheek. Her thumb caressed the soft skin under her eye before she moved her hand to push the dark hair away from Helen's face. She knew that it wouldn't stay back long – or at all – but she enjoyed the sensation of the soft hair between her fingers. Helen pressed one kiss to the inside of her wrist before slipping off Sam and lying down next to her again. Sam looked at her, well aware that something was going through the doctor's mind.

'What is it?' She whispered. Helen looked up at her with wide blue eyes.

'I want to ask you something. But I know it's incredibly selfish of me.'

'I think you can afford to be selfish for once in your life.' Helen wrinkled her nose. 'Helen?'

'If you ever found a way to extend your lifespan, without putting your life or that of others in danger, would you do it?' Sam's eyebrows shot up and her jaw dropped.

'Like you?'

'Yes. The only person who will live as long as me and will probably outlive me is Nikola. And you know how he is; brilliant but extremely irritating. I love him but I could really use someone who would actually give me a reason to stay around. I'm tired of seeing everyone I love die and if it were only for one person, if one person I love could stay alive by my side, it would be so much easier. Because I wouldn't be so bloody lonely.'

'And I could be that person?'

'Most definitely. But, if you get the chance, I don't want you to do it just for me. Even if you didn't already know the truth of the predicament, I wouldn't lie to you; there are as many curses as gifts, if not more.'

'I would,' Sam finally decided though she hadn't had to think about the answer that much. 'I probably have a longer life expectancy than most people as it is.'

'Because of Jolinar,' Helen finished for her.

Sam nodded and, once again, she found that there was nothing better than being involved with someone who knew of the Stargate and who had clearance. She wasn't really supposed to know the details of their missions and what had happened but Sam had decided that Helen was a safe person. She had dedicated her life to keeping a secret at least as enormous as the Stargate and she had been let in on that secret as well. Besides, Jolinar was a huge part of her and no matter how hard she had tried to deny it for a while, there were some parts of her that were linked very closely to the symbiote. And, when she had gotten involved with Helen, she had refused to let any walls up between the two of them. If they were to be in a relationship, there would be no secrets, no lies, no dark areas.

'Yes, beautiful,' Sam started, 'if I was given the chance to extend my lifespan, I would do it.'

'Not only to be with me?'

'Well, the fact that I would be with you would be the tipping argument and if it weren't for you I'd seriously reconsider. But, no, not only to be with you.' Helen grinned and leaned in to press her lips to Sam's.

'Good.'

Their lips touched again. The kiss was slow and deep and Sam knew that night they would simply hold each other and exchange soft and gentle kisses that would warm them up from the inside and make them feel loved. And Sam wanted nothing more than to be held, to revel in the thought that she had such a powerful relationship with Helen Magnus. She wanted to lie in Helen's arms and not need to say a single word, to drop every barrier and know that her heart lay completely open and yet, completely safe.

They had long since gone past the bond they had established due to their being two strong and wilful women who had to keep masks up in front of everybody else. Their relationship was made of much more than that. What had started out as understanding had grown into admiration and, slowly, oh-so slowly, into a love that kept growing each time they saw each other.

Sam never felt better than when she was with Helen and though they were by no means a conventional couple, Sam did not ever want to be with anybody else. It did not matter that they did not live in the same country, that the longest they had actually lived together in one go were two weeks during which Sam had been on medical leave, that it had been seven years since they first made love but that they were not considering settling down together. At least, no more than wishful thinking and not-so secret hoping and dreaming. For all she cared, they could go on like that forever.

But, at times, knowing that they were so alike despite all their differences, that they were just as strong as the men by day but with that many more challenges and just women at night was all they needed. They went back to why they had been given the chance to fall for each other, why they had been attracted to one another in the first place.

One of Helen's legs moved against her own and Sam felt the soft fabric of her pants that Helen was still wearing.

'I didn't get a chance to tell you,' Sam started, turning just enough that she could look Helen straight in the eye. 'My yoga pants look very good on you.'

The hand that Helen had slipped under Sam's shirt and which had been tracing invisible patterns on Sam's skin stopped for a second and Sam almost purred when it started moving again, gently scratching the skin of her abdomen with beautiful, manicured nails.

'Do they now?' Sam nodded, leaning in until her forehead was resting against Helen's temple. 'Tired?'

Sam nodded again. She felt Helen drop a kiss to her cheek before she settled in just a little bit closer. They wouldn't spend the night curled up like that. They rarely did. But she liked to fall asleep with Helen's body close to hers. It was still enough of a rarity that she enjoyed, to its fullest, the feeling of another warm body, another person close to her as she fell asleep.

Sam was the first one up the following morning. Not that that was exceptional or unusual. Helen did not sleep a lot but, when she had no alarm clock set early, she tended to catch up on some sleep. She never slept particularly late and when she was woken up by the ringing of an alarm clock, she was in a rather good mood. Sam, on the other hand, had military hours ingrained in her. She was always up early, even when she had nothing to do. But, when off duty, she always needed some time to be fully awake.

She looked over to the sleeping woman next to her. She always felt better when she had Helen to wake up to. It left her feeling warm, calm and fulfilled. She smiled as she observed Helen. Her breathing was slow and deep. Her features were relaxed, softer than when she was awake. Sam thought she looked a few years younger. Of course, that didn't really mean much where Helen was concerned. Still, she was sleeping on her side, facing Sam, and one of her hands was loosely fisted next to her head, resting between their pillows. Sam grinned. She looked like a child, her dark hair slightly tussled, a few strands having fallen over her pale face.

She breathed in and a few locks fell further over her face, one of them landing on her nose. It obviously tickled because Helen immediately wrinkled her nose to try to get rid of the offending piece of hair. Sam giggled to herself and extended a hand to remove the strand, making sure to be as careful and gentle as possible, knowing that Helen was no longer sleeping deeply. Helen sighed and her lips pulled into a tiny, satisfied smile. Sam smiled as well before leaning in to press a light kiss against Helen's forehead. She slipped out of bed and out of the bedroom quietly, leaving Helen to finish her night, knowing that she might sleep later than usual given how exhausted she had been.

Sam was right. Helen did sleep later than usual. It was still reasonably early in normal people standards but the two of them were most definitely not normal people. Sam looked up from one of the files she had brought home the night before when she heard movement in the hallway. She smiled at Helen's tussled and ruffled look, watching as she stretched, clearly still partly asleep. Helen was still wearing the yoga pants and one of Sam's black Air Force t-shirts which she had put on before they went to bed. It was an unusual look on her but Helen had wanted something more comfortable than her usual nightgown and Sam wasn't complaining. It was a very good look on her.

'Hi,' she breathed as Helen walked over to the couch where she was sitting.

'Good morning, love,' Helen breathed back, pressing a kiss to Sam's temple. She sat down and looked at the file in Sam's hands. 'SGC?'

'I had planned on working this weekend. I figured I'd do that while you were sleeping.' Helen nodded slowly. 'How are you feeling?'

'Groggy,' Helen admitted. 'It's been quite a while since I slept so long. Let alone in one go.' Sam chuckled.

'I figured. It does feel good though, doesn't it?'

'May I take a rain check on that? My brain needs to catch up and wake up as well.' Sam laughed and leaned in to kiss Helen's cheek, threading her fingers through the dark tangled locks. She let her hand rest on the back of Helen's neck. 'How about you?' Helen asked quietly, leaning into Sam's gentle massage. 'How are you feeling?'

'Me? I'm good. Why?'

'Seven years of telling hardly anyone about us _is_ a rather long time. I don't think you had planned on coming out to your friends like that.'

'Ah. That. No, I hadn't planned on it,' she confirmed. 'I'm okay. I think I feared it wouldn't go well. I don't know why. They're my friends and they love me.'

'It's not something easy to do. And we often imagine the worst.' Sam nodded.

'But it went well.'

'I'd say so. I do feel bad to have pulled you away from a team night. I know you don't have them a lot.' Sam shook her head.

'Nonsense. I told you they'd understand and I don't want you to feel down.' Helen smiled. 'Besides, now I'm sure they want to get to know you and interrogate you. Maybe we could organise something.'

'That would be lovely.'

'Good. We'll see when we do that. But first, breakfast,' she declared with a grin, leaning in to kiss Helen's lips before she stood up and headed for the kitchen.

She knew Helen should argue that she was a better cook. And she was. The chances of Sam burning the eggs or the pancakes were always pretty high and it was always a subject of teasing. But, apparently, Helen was still tired or just lazy enough to let go and not comment on the fact that Sam would probably mess up at least one thing. Sam smiled and watched Helen stretch out on the couch and pull the afghan over her, thinking of how normal a couple they could sometimes be. Her making a desperate attempt at not ruining breakfast while Helen dozed off for a little while longer. It felt good. It felt right.


	6. Chapter 6

Hi there. Me again. I'm sure most of you won't mind my posting this chapter so quickly. And that has very much to do with you, lovely readers and reviewers. Last night, I noticed that I had received 5 reviews in just a few hours. Which made me positively ecstatic. THANK YOU SO MUCH! Anyway, I decided that I would post chapter 6 as soon as I got one or two more reviews. Otherwise, I would have posted on Christmas Eve. I got that 6th review this morning. So *drum rolls* tadaaaa, chapter 6! :D

Chances are I'll post chapter 7 within the next few days because of reasons you will understand once I post it. But please, do keep on being your lovely selves and let me know what you think about this chapter. I do a little happy dance each time I get a new review. :D

Enjoy. :)

**Chapter 6**

Sam squeezed her cell phone between her ear and shoulder, listening to the ring tone and hoping that Helen would answer. With her free hand, she stuffed the clothes she had set onto her bed in her open suitcase. It was bigger than what she would usually take on a trip but she would be gone longer and the trip had more than just one purpose.

'_Hello, my darling_,' the British drawl flowed through the phone and into her ear. Sam stopped packing and smiled, feeling herself relax instantly. '_It's been a while._'

'Just barely a week,' Sam pointed out with a slight chuckle.

'_Like I said; a while._'

Sam laughed, shaking her head lightly. No matter how cliché and sappy the words were, they were true. The only times they went longer than two or three days without talking were when one or both of them was busy. Granted, it happened quite often, especially when their schedules did not overlap and one of them left just as the other came back and _vice versa_. Sam remembered three particularly long months during which they had kept missing each other, if only by hours. When Sam had finally had some time to breathe and had known that Helen would be free too, she had jumped into the first plane and gone to see her. Three months without even getting the chance to talk to the one person who kept her grounded, who kept her from going completely insane, was far too long. Helen had agreed profusely.

'Fair point. How are you?'

'_Quite good. We're just getting over a crisis._'

Sam eyebrows shot up but she smiled and lay back on the bed, the way she always did when she was on the phone with Helen. She knew this wouldn't be one of their long, comforting, intimate phone calls but she could not resist the urge. Hearing the soft and charming British accent had that effect on her.

'A crisis?'

'_Nothing too bad._'

'But bad enough that you call it a crisis.' Helen chuckled. 'What happened?'

'_I'll tell you some other time. I don't think I've missed any of your calls. So I take it you have been equally busy. Are you alright?_' Sam grinned again. There was already a hint of worry in Helen's voice and Sam decided to reassure her right away though she did find the concern and slight edge she could hear very touching.

'I'm good. Great actually.'

'_Oh?_'

'Do you remember when I said I'd try and get some time off?'

'_Of course._'

'Well, it turns out that, starting Monday, I have boring Air Force business to run near Old City that will keep me busy for about ten days. And then, provided no one try to wipe Earth off the map or try to kill everyone in the galaxy, I am a free woman for two weeks.'

'_You are? I did not ever expect to hear these words coming out of your mouth._' Sam laughed.

'Neither did I. Some say I have learnt to get a life because I take all my days off and work on the weekends as little as possible.'

'_Are they right?_'

'Just SGC gossip. Me, getting a life? It's a bit of a preposterous idea, isn't it?' Helen laughed

The sound made Sam's insides melt. There was nothing she wanted more than to be on the plane that would take her to Old City. She was desperately craving Helen's gentle touch, her presence, her kisses, simply being in her arms for hours. Certainly, she couldn't wait to be back in Helen's bed but she was also looking forward to the company. Sitting in the same room with her, on the same couch, their feet or legs touching as they each read a book and sipped a cup of tea. Going out for a walk to the park, the woods or the beach, talking quietly, their hands brushing over and over again until one of them finally gave in and tangled their fingers. Neither one of them was for PDA and even walking hand in hand was something they rarely did but they weren't together nearly often enough and they had silently agreed to make the most of their time.

Whenever she thought back to the years before she met Helen, she wondered how she had stayed afloat. How had she not gone stir crazy, working at all hours of the day and night to achieve something that seemed completely impossible? Of course, she had always liked a challenge but she could not, for the life of her, remember how she had functioned, knowing that her only goal in life was to defeat an unbelievably powerful enemy that most of the planet did not even know existed. And, more than anything, she could not understand how she had been able to do so much, to carry such a heavy weight on her shoulders without Helen in her life, without the knowledge that she could pick up the phone anytime and call her when things got too hard and when her thoughts and feelings were so jumbled she didn't even know who she was anymore.

'_Were you thinking of doing anything specific during your two week vacation?_' Helen asked, her voice bringing Sam back out of her memories.

'I'm not sure just yet. I know this woman,' Sam started, unable to keep the grin off her face. She didn't have a single doubt that Helen could hear how brightly she was smiling and how happy she was, even over the phone and the far too great distance between them. 'This lovely and unbelievably beautiful British brunette. I thought I might go knock at her door; see if she's got room to host me for a little while.'

'_I have no doubt she would do her best to find room for someone as lovely as you,_' Helen answered, playing along and Sam's smile only brightened. Helen's voice sounded just like she felt. Light, happy, playful, warm._ 'And if she didn't find anything, you could probably share a bed._'

'Of course. Nothing wrong with two grown women sharing a bed.'

'_Absolutely not._'

'I have to say, that's probably what will happen. I've never been in a house smaller than hers.' That prompted laughter from Helen and Sam could just imagine her shaking her head, grinning brightly.

'_When would you be arriving?_'

'Well, you see, this business thing is taking place near where she lives and I turned down the hotel the Air Force offered me. I thought I might head to her place right away.'

'_I'm sure she would be delighted to have you for three weeks._'

'Three and a half.'

'_Three_ _and a half? Even better then. You are lucky that she does not have anything important planned during that time._'

'I thought it was a bit dangerous not to warn ahead but I didn't want you to be disappointed if something made me change my plans. And I wanted it to be a bit of a surprise.'

'_It's perfectly fine, love._'

'Good. My plane lands in Old City at 11pm tonight.'

'_I'll pick you up._'

'Personally?' Sam exclaimed in surprise. She had often been picked up by Biggie and, more often than not, she found Helen comfortably settled in the backseat of the car, waiting for her. But Helen had very rarely picked her up herself.

'_You don't need to sound so shocked._' Sam laughed.

'Sorry. I've got to finish packing and go to the airport. Call you when I land?'

'_Please do._'

'Kay. See you later.' She bit her lip and waited a beat before shaking her head. 'I still resent me for turning me into that woman who won't hang up the phone.' Helen laughed.

'_I could do it but I'm curious as to how long it'll take you to do it._'

'And here I thought you were supposed to be supportive. I really do have to finish packing though.'

'_Off you go then. You wouldn't want to miss your flight and sadden the British brunette._'

'I definitely don't want that. See you in Old City, beautiful.'

'_See you in a few hours._'

Sam grinned and hung up. She swiftly finished packing and was out of her house just a few minutes later. She had made sure that nothing perishable had remained in her fridge. As she got into the Air Force jeep that was taking her to the airport, she barely even looked back and the thought that she would be away from her supposed home for over three weeks did not bother her in the least.

A mere few hours later, she stepped out of the airport terminal. She would have flown in with a few fellow airmen who would be at the meeting but they would only be arriving on Monday morning and she had informed her superiors that, since she would be staying with a friend rather than at the hotel, she would be going to Old City on Friday evening after work so that she could take advantage of the weekend to spend time with said friend. She had had to fly commercial but it was a small price to pay to spend another two days and some hours with Helen. During the flight, she had mostly thought about the fact that, if all went well, she would get to spend over three weeks with Helen. It was longer than they had ever spent together at once and she was more than a bit ecstatic about it.

She had always said that, should she ever stay at the Sanctuary for more than just a weekend, she would help the team and not just hang around the Sanctuary while they went about the usual business and she was looking forward to seeing what a "normal" life at the Sanctuary would be like. Maybe that was all it would take to convince her to retire and move to Old City. She had been thinking about it for a while, trying to come up with the best solution; should she just retire and cut all her ties to the Stargate program? She doubted the Air Force would let her go so easily. But perhaps she could act as a consultant when something big came up, something that they thought only she could solve. She would still battle their assumption that she was the only one who could solve most problems. The program had very capable men, women, scientists and she really didn't think she was all that irreplaceable anymore.

Sam had not yet mentioned her possible retirement to Helen though she probably would before the end of her stay. If all went as well as she hoped and expected, leaving would be just that much harder and she just knew that she would want to come back as soon as possible. And not just for one all too brief weekend. She had talked about it with Jack and he had answered that he would forever envy and hate her if she managed to retire and escape the Air Force's clutches before he did. She had laughed, well aware that they still refused to let him go. He had then leaned in and kissed her temple before pulling her into a loose hug.

'If that's what you want and if that's going to make you happy then go for it,' he had breathed against the skin of her temple, leaning in further until his lips were brushing her ear. 'You've more than earned it and you more than deserve it.' Sam had grinned and tightened her hold on him. She had remained silent, feeling that he had more to say. 'But I honestly doubt they will let their very own national treasure go so easily.'

She recognised Helen's car right away though she couldn't be given all that much credit for that; there were very few cars and only one stood out as the kind of car that Helen Magnus would own. Besides, Sam had already seen it and driven it. She started walking towards it and grinned when she saw Helen step out and around the car.

As soon as she had reached Helen, Sam let go of her suitcase, leaving it standing next to the two of them and slipped into Helen's waiting arms. She sighed into her lover's neck, grinning and kissing the skin lightly. Helen had one arm tight around her waist. Her other hand had settled between Sam's shoulder blades, keeping their bodies pressed close. Sam's arms were curled around Helen's shoulders, holding her equally close. The only thing that made her pull away was the knowledge that, once they got to the Sanctuary – home – they would be back in each other's arm and they would no longer have to tear themselves apart. Not for several hours, at any rate. And they would be able to do much more.

She pulled away from the brunette, looking into her eyes for one brief second before cupping her face and leaning in to kiss her soft lips. She resisted the urge to deepen the kiss, knowing that, despite how little people were around, the sidewalk outside an airport was hardly the best place to reunite with Helen. She pecked her lips a few times, smiling before pulling away.

'Hi,' she greeted. Helen smiled.

'Hello, love. Shall we?'

'We shall.'

She picked up her suitcase and set it into the trunk before joining Helen in the car. They exchanged one grin before being on their way. After a couple of minutes of silence, Sam slipped her hand into Helen's, loosely tangling their fingers. She noticed a healing gash on the back of Helen's hand and lifted it up to try and see a bit better in the dark vehicle.

'What happened?' She breathed, looking up at Helen. The brunette turned to look at her for a second before focusing on the road again.

'I had a slight disagreement with a computer while Henry wasn't around.' Sam winced.

'Ouch. What state is the computer in, now?' She asked, lifting the hand to her mouth to gently kiss the wound. Helen laughed, reclaiming her hand to switch gears as they drove onto the highway.

'I left Henry to deal with the renegade. I'm sure he'll be able to tell you more.' Sam smiled. 'So, tell me about this business trip of yours.'

'Meetings and briefings. There's been some SGC activity around here lately and we've been running tests and scientific research. The NID may or may not have messed things up quite a bit. The higher ups wanted the conclusion of this whole mess to take place here. And I've been invited to the party because some of my men and my scientists were sent here by my order – which I'd been ordered to give by the same higher ups.'

'Sounds like you're in for an interesting few days.'

'That's one way of putting it. I thought I'd try and ignore these lovely days by having something to look forward to at the end of the day. And I have a feeling by then I'll have earned my two weeks off.'

She leaned back against the seat, her head dropping to the head rest. She closed her eyes and sighed. There was only one thing she was looking forward to in the coming ten days and it was the time she would be spending at the Sanctuary. Helen's hand came to rest on her thigh and she rubbed it a few times before patting her knee and letting her hand rest there.

'You already have,' Helen told her, her hand caressing the inside of Sam's thigh again before it returned to the wheel as they took the exit off the highway.

'Huh?'

'Earned your two weeks off.'

'Right. Sorry. I'm tired.'

'I believe _quod __erad__ demonstrandum_ has never fit better.' Sam laughed.

'I guess it hasn't. Did anything happen at the Sanctuary that I should know about before we get there?' Helen thought for a second.

'If we get out of the bedroom this weekend, you might get to meet Abby. You'll definitely meet her if you do stay for three weeks.'

'Who's Abby?'

'Will's girlfriend. I would have thought he would go for someone more challenging but she's a nice enough girl, I suppose.'

Sam was brought up to date on Sanctuary news for the rest of the drive and she had to say that she was very glad she had learnt to be adaptable. Although it was perhaps one of the reasons Helen and her were so good together. Certainly, they were similar in many ways and they could understand each other very well, they offered the other comfort and the chance to let go. But they also challenged each other and Sam could not think of anyone better suited for her; someone who understood – more than anyone – what it was like to be a woman in a man's world, someone who could offer her comfort without judging her when she let her walls down, someone who could challenge her and make sure she stayed on her toes and did not let life take her places she did not want to go.

The weekend went by far too quickly and, before she knew it, Sam had to put on her dress blues again. She walked downstairs to the kitchen to have breakfast, knowing, from experience, that it would be a team affair. As expected, she wasn't alone when she walked into the kitchen; Henry, Biggie, Kate and Will were already there. Kate was setting the table, Will was preparing coffee, Henry was getting food out of the fridge and Biggie was cooking something that she did not want to know about and most definitely did not want on her breakfast plate. Sam smiled at them, her eyes setting on a gapping Henry.

'Wow,' he stuttered, his eyes trailing over her dress blues clad body all the way down to her regulation heels and then back up. 'Well, I can say I had breakfast with a hot US Air Force Brigadier General in formal wear.'

'_My_ hot US Air Force Brigadier General in formal wear,' Helen corrected, smiling at him. He did a double take and Sam chuckled, leaning into the chaste and brief kiss Helen dropped to her lips.

'Right. Sorry, doc. I promise I won't snag your girlfriend.'

'The girlfriend is standing right here,' Sam piped in with a mock indignant look.

'Sorry,' Henry apologised again with a small smile.

Sam answered with her brightest smile, knowing that it would have the man melting into a puddle. And it did not fail. She heard Helen laugh behind her and knew she was busted. But she did not regret it one bit. Helen excepted, Henry was, without contest, the person she looked most forward to seeing whenever she came to Old City. And so what if he had a bit of a harmless crush on her? She knew about it. And he knew she knew. Could she really be blamed for playing with it a little bit? After all, he had admitted countless times that he was jealous of Helen for being the one who took Sam to bed at night. And the moment he had been sure that neither she nor Helen minded, he had realised that there would be teasing. He had accepted it so long as it only came from the two of them.

Sam sat down at the table between Helen and Will and playfully battled with Helen for the apple for which they had both aimed. In the end, she allowed Helen to keep the apple but she sent a threatening glare her way, making sure Helen knew there would be repercussions. If she said it aloud, Helen would probably simply answer that she was looking forward to it but Sam did not care to test the accuracy of her assumption at the breakfast table with Helen's whole team around.

'By the way, Sam,' Henry called after a few moments of silence during which they had all been enjoying their beverages and food, trying to wake up fully and get ready for the day. She looked up at him. 'After you come back from your work thingy, do you think you could spare some time to check out a new weapon I created?' Sam smiled.

'For you, Henry? Always.'

'Wise choice,' Helen commented. 'It's very cool.' Sam coughed on her tea and turned to look at the brunette next to her.

'I'm sorry. '_Cool_'? It must really be something if it makes _you_ use the word 'cool.''

'Just quoting Henry,' Helen pretended with an innocent grin. Sam laughed.

'No, you're not. You do think it's cool and you don't want to admit that you used that word.'

'Finish your breakfast, darling. You wouldn't want to be late on your first day.'

They continued to banter all the way through breakfast, eventually joined by the rest of the team. It took her a few days to get used to having breakfast with Helen and her team but, as expected, she was completely and utterly in love with how normal the two of them could be. Going to sleep in the same bed at night – after some rather mind blowing sex – and waking up next to Helen in the morning, having breakfast and dinner together, kissing Helen just before she left and as she came home.

When she came back at the end of the day, she would go up to their room right away, change into a pair of jeans and a light sweater and head to Helen's office where she found her almost every day. They would exchange a few kisses, more or less passionate, depending on the company. Will's eyes almost bulged out of his head the first time he saw Sam walk up to Helen to press a kiss to her lips. It wasn't as chaste as he was used to from them and Sam suspected his shock also had to do with the way Helen greeted her back, welcoming the kiss, one hand settling at Sam's side, the other one slipping through her blonde hair. Sam would then drop onto the couch and they would both work until dinner, talking every now and then, their quiet words breaking through the comfortable silence.

The business part of her trip was, miraculously, wrapped up one day early and Sam couldn't have been happier about that. She had woken up that morning feeling tired and a bit off and it had only gotten worse as the day unfolded. She had changed into one of Helen's sweat pants, a shirt and a soft sweater. She walked into Helen's office and simply curled up on the couch when she noticed that Helen and Will were talking about a mission. At least she thought that was what they were talking about. She was too tired to focus and try and understand. Still, they both stopped and turned to look at her. Helen frowned, a look of concern settling on her features.

'Dear God, Samantha. I've never seen you quite this pale. Are you alright?' Sam looked up at her and tried to smile though she was pretty sure she didn't pull it off. It had been a while since she had felt this unwell.

'I'm fine. Just going to have a little nap before dinner. Pretend I'm not here,' she mumbled as she closed her eyes, curling up further.

'Unlikely,' Helen muttered. Sam heard the heels clack as Helen walked over and felt her fingers brush her forehead. Sam leaned into the gentle and delicate fingers but did not open her eyes. 'You've got a fever, love.' Sam let out a sound halfway between a grunt and a whimper.

'I thought sex boosted the immune system.' Sam opened her eyes when she heard a squeak, looking over to a blushing Will. She smiled, noticing that a similar grin was pulling at Helen's lips.

'Yours must be immune to that,' Helen murmured, her fingers slipping through Sam's hair. They both turned to look at Will again when he cleared his throat. 'Will?'

'Sorry. I'm having some trouble with the whole 'imagining my boss having sex with her girlfriend' thing. I'll just leave you two and-' he trailed off, his thumb pointing over his shoulder to one of the doors. He spun on his heels and was about to leave but Helen called his name.

'We'll finish this conversation later on.' He nodded and though Helen turned to look at Sam and talk to her, he seemed to sense she wasn't quite done and waited by the door. 'Symptoms, love?'

'I'm fine.' Helen looked at her, nonplussed and Sam finally gave in, knowing there was no getting out of it. The fact that she still hadn't sat up, probably looked as pale as death and obviously had a fever was not working in her favour. 'Alright. Exhausted and very sore throat mostly. Actually, sore all over. Bit of a cough too. Headache. And the usual fever symptoms.' Helen nodded and continued brushing Sam's hair gently.

'Bed or here?'

'Here.' Helen nodded and looked up at Will again.

'Will, would you be so kind as to bring us a large cup of warm milk with honey as well as some extra-strength paracetamol, please?'

'Sure thing.' Sam heard his footsteps as he left the room and she knew when he was out when Helen looked back down at her with a small, comforting smile.

'I'm not a kid,' Sam grumbled half heartedly, closing her eyes and leaning into Helen's hands.

'No one is saying you are, love,' Helen comforted.

Sam felt and heard her moving. She opened her eyes into tiny slits and watched as Helen toed off her stilettos and sat down on the ground, next to the couch. One of her hands settled on Sam's abdomen and the other returned to her bangs, gently brushing through them. Sam closed her eyes and almost purred under Helen's soft and comforting touch. She felt a shiver run through her body and had no doubt that Helen had felt it too.

'I don't do sick.'

'I know. Neither do I. I'm sorry the one time you are sick is when you are on vacation.' Sam turned her head until it was resting against Helen's arm. She revelled in the feel of the cool skin against her hot forehead.

'It's not the vacation part that annoys me. It's the while I'm with you part.' Helen chuckled lowly and Sam felt her press a warm kiss to her temple.

'We can still enjoy our time together. And you won't be sick for two weeks,' Helen promised.

Sam felt a hand move to cup her cheek and gently turn her head. She opened her eyes for a mere second, immediately closing them again when Helen's soft lips covered hers. Kissing Helen was one thing she would never be against and it was something she would always allow. She let her lover tease and kiss her lips for a few long moments, moaning when the deft tongue pushed past her lips and slipped into her mouth. Sam sighed when Helen pulled away.

'You're going to get sick too.'

'Darling, we've been sleeping in the same bed, kissing and making love daily for the past ten days. If I'm to get sick, I already have whatever you do.'

Sam did not have the time to reply before Helen's lips were on hers again, gently making love to her mouth. And no matter how little she was up to, she was very happy to indulge Helen.

And she was equally happy to indulge her later when Helen walked into their bedroom after dinner. Sam hadn't been hungry and had headed to bed while Helen had shot her a concerned look before going to dinner. Sam had dozed off for a while but hadn't managed to fall asleep. Instead, she had, without even realising it, burrowed her face into Helen's pillow. She wasn't used to being in Helen's bed without her and she wasn't sure she liked it. Of course, it was better than alone in her own bed with Helen thousands of kilometres away but she did not like not having Helen's warm and curvaceous body pressed against her own. Or at least within less than an arm's length. She turned her head to look at the door when it opened. She shot Helen a lazy and droopy smile and accepted her kiss.

'Hi,' she breathed, her voice sounding slightly croaky. Helen winced and kissed her forehead.

'Still not hungry?' Sam shook her head. 'How are you feeling?'

'Cold at the moment.' Helen pressed her lips against Sam's cheek, kissing her way down, towards her neck.

'Would you like to check whether endorphins make you feel any better?' Helen offered, pushing the blanket off a bit and kissing Sam's chest repeatedly.

'Sex? I'm not feeling up to much right now.'

'You don't need to do anything. I'll take care of you.' Sam moaned lowly when Helen kissed the skin just below the edge of her tank top.

'That does sound nice,' Sam murmured. 'Hey!' She whimpered when Helen's weight and warmth moved off her.

She smiled lazily and sleepily when Helen dressed all the way down to just her underwear, lifted the corner of the blankets and slipped under them. Helen straddled Sam's hips and leaned down to kiss her lips fully, her hands gently caressing Sam's sides and sliding under the thin tank top. Sam's hands moved up, one settling at the back of Helen's head, holding her close and making sure she did not break the kiss. The other settled at the side of Helen's neck, her thumb gently caressing the line of the brunette's jaw.

Sam moaned when Helen's thumbs brushed her nipples, working them into hard pebbles. Helen's hands moved up further. She pulled the fuchsia tank top with her and forced Sam's hands and lips off her while she removed the piece of clothing. Sam groaned when Helen broke contact and, when her hands and head were free, she immediately reclaimed the full and delicious lips with her own. The uneasiness and queasiness in her stomach was replaced by a strong wave of lust and desire and Sam was very happy she had let Helen talk her into this. Not that it had taken much, she reminded herself as Helen's tongue swiped over her lower lip seductively before retreating. Helen's hands continued caressing her sides, her hands cool against Sam's body – which she knew wasn't a good sign but which she chose to ignore anyway – as she kissed Sam's cheeks, moving towards her left ear. She nibbled at the lobe when she reached it, her tongue darting out and swiping at it.

Sam's hands moved over Helen's back and one of her hands slipped under the back of her underwear gently scratching the skin she found there, grinning when that elicited a small moan. Helen playfully bit Sam's earlobe.

'Don't distract me, love,' she breathed huskily into Sam's ear. 'You're not doing anything tonight.'

'Nothing at all?'

'Nothing at all,' Helen confirmed.

She pressed a kiss just beneath Sam's ear, her tongue darting out and teasing the sensitive spot. Sam gasped and pressed her chest against Helen's, her hands moving back up the brunette's back, one settling at the back of her neck, under the silky soft locks, the other at her lower back, between her kidneys. Sam bit her lip as Helen slowly moved downwards, kissing and nibbling at her heated skin. By then she wasn't quite sure if her body was still so hot because of the fever or because of Helen's burning and lustful touch.

As Helen kissed the top of Sam's breasts, her hands trailed over her hips and thighs, partly covered by the pair of shorts she was wearing. She caressed Sam's thighs for a few long moments, her hands inconspicuously slipping under her shorts to cup Sam's butt through her cotton underwear. Helen looked up at Sam amused and surprised as she felt the unusual fabric under her hands. Sam shrugged.

'Comfier.'

'Fair enough.'

Helen pressed one soft kiss between Sam's breasts. She inched down a bit more, spreading Sam's legs so she could kneel between them. As her mouth moved closer and closer to Sam's right breast, her hands resumed their activity on Sam's legs, alternating between caressing them with the flat of her hands and just brushing her fingers over them, grinning when the latter caused Sam to shudder and brought Goosebumps on her skin. As her lips closed around Sam's nipple, her hand slipped just a bit higher beneath Sam's shorts, her thumb brushing the crotch of her underwear. Sam gasped, arching her back to press her centre against Helen's hand and to push her breast further against Helen's lips and tongue.

Helen continued her delightful ministrations for a while longer until she moved on to more serious business. She switched breasts as she pulled off Sam's shorts and underwear, unceremoniously discarding them and returning to the task at hand. Her hand moved back between Sam's legs, her fingers finally touching Sam's heated centre. The gentle touch added to Helen's lips still being locked on Sam's nipple, suckling, licking and biting prompted Sam to arch her back again and let out a moan. One of her hands moved to cup the back of Helen's head, her fingers threading through the dark strands, holding her right where she was. The other one caressed Helen's side, her nails gently scratching the skin every now and then.

Either Helen was past caring and far too busy making Sam very happy to notice or she really did not mind because Sam did not get the playful reprimand she expected for not just lying still and letting Helen have her way with her. Sam's hand slowly moved up Helen's side, cupping one of Helen's breasts, gently kneading it. She gasped loudly when Helen bit down a tad bit harder on her peaked nipple. The fingers that were working their magic between her legs froze just before slipping inside her body and Sam wriggled to get them moving again. But instead of feeling more pleasure, the lips and tongue that had been fabulous things to her pulled away. The cold air that hit her wet and hot nipple felt like a shock and Sam couldn't help but shiver as she looked up into Helen's playfully threatening eyes.

'Let's make the rules clear, my darling. This is my show and, should you try and do something other than just lay here and let me take care of you, I will stop.'

'Feeling a bit bossy tonight, are we?'

'If that'll make you listen, then yes, let's say I'm feeling bossy. Now, fly girl, hands off.'

'I can't touch you at all?' Sam sulked, pouting slightly. Helen smiled and pressed a soft kiss to her chest.

'Shoulders and back only. Besides, it won't be long before you can't touch much more.'

Sam grinned in expectation. The hand on Helen's breast moved up to Helen's shoulder, smoothing a few dark strands back and gently squeezing the back of her neck to indicate that she would cooperate – so long as Helen resumed her activities right away. The message was clear and Sam cried out when she felt Helen push two fingers inside her just as her tongue swiped Sam's breast once.

But, against Sam's hopes and expectations, she did not continue. Instead, Helen resumed her earlier activity, her lips dropping kisses on Sam's body as she moved lower and lower. Her kisses grew slower and more feverish as she neared Sam's centre where her fingers were still working energetically, making Sam arch and writhe. Her tongue darted out to tease and lick Sam's belly button. When Sam let out a muffled moan, Helen looked up and their eyes met. Sam's lower lip slipped out of beneath her teeth. They grinned at each other and Helen's fingers brushed a particularly sensitive spot.

'Oh God,' Sam gasped, throwing her head back against the pillow as Helen pressed kisses all over her lower abdomen and thighs. 'For future reference,' Sam started, 'sex when sick? Very good.'

Helen laughed and Sam let out a groan of pleasure as she felt the vibrations through her whole body. A rush of warmth swept over her and Sam wished Helen would just stop teasing, get a move on and press her lips where she knew very well that Sam wanted them. She got a sliver of hope when Helen's lips moved upwards on her inner thigh. Only to be disappointed when the vixen immediately moved to the other thigh.

'You need to learn not to tease so much during sex,' Sam thought out loud, 'and to stop kissing my legs.'

'Foreplay, my love. And they're gorgeous legs.'

'Yours are far better,' Sam argued, moving her right leg until the underside of her foot was caressing the back of Helen's thigh.

'Yes, well. It's all a matter of opinion. And I can hardly kiss my own legs.' Sam laughed, trying to picture it.

'There's a concept. You're such a leg girl.'

'I'm a Samantha girl,' Helen corrected. Sam snorted and shook her head.

'Line. I'm too old for them, never mind you. Hey, why d'you stop? Keep going,' she ordered, moaning when the fingers moved once inside her before freezing again.

'Who's feeling bossy now?' Helen breathed against the inside of Sam's thigh.

She kissed, suckled and nibbled at the spot until Sam was certain she would find a hickey there the following morning. Well, at least there was no risk anyone but Helen and her would see it. Finally, Helen moved back up and pressed her lips where Sam wanted her the most. She parted her lips and Sam let out a cry when she finally felt Helen's tongue against her while the expert fingers found the spot inside her that never failed to make her crumble into a heap. Thankfully, she was already flat on her back.

One of her hands moved to the back of Helen's head, her fingers slipping through her dark hair, gently massaging her scalp until she felt – more than heard – a low purr come out of Helen. The sensation was incredible and Helen must have agreed because, instead of chastising her, she continued to work on Sam, making her satisfaction known every now and then when Sam's nails scratched a particularly pleasant spot.

Sam arched her back involuntarily and gasped loudly when the fingers inside her brushed over the spots that got her off the quickest over and over again. As she felt herself nearing the edge, she decided that there really was nothing better in the world – Hell, the whole universe – than lying flat on her back with Helen's fingers inside her and her tongue simultaneously working its magic on her. The wave that washed over her was unexpected. It wasn't that she hadn't expected that Helen would get her off. Oh, no. That never failed. She just hadn't expected it to be so strong and overpowering.

When she was finally aware of her surroundings again, she realised that Helen was gently bringing her down from her high, her hands caressing Sam's thighs, abdomen and sides, alternating between soft licks and sweet kisses between her legs. When their eyes met again, Helen pressed one last kiss between Sam's legs before dropping feather light kisses on her skin as she made her way back up until they were resting against one another, the whole length of their bodies pressed together.

'Holy Hannah,' Sam breathed, turning her head and leaning in to claim Helen's lips. 'What about you, though?' She asked quietly, her lips still brushing Helen's. She lifted a hand to caress the brunette's cheek, letting it trail lower and lower until her thumb brushed Helen's nipple through her bra.

'I'm fine, love,' Helen whispered back, kissing Sam's lips once. 'You need sleep,' she added, her hand coming to rest on top of Sam's, giving it a warm and gentle squeeze but not doing anything to try and remove it from her breast.

'I'm not letting you hanging,' she argued.

Helen squeezed her hand again and pulled her into a slow and warm kiss. Sam's lips parted instantly when she felt Helen's tongue brush her lower lip and Helen deepened the kiss, keeping it maddeningly slow and tender. When they pulled back, they rested their foreheads against one another and Helen's hand cupped Sam's cheek, her thumb lightly brushing over the skin under her eye. Sam closed her eyes and leaned against Helen, realising that she was actually pretty exhausted.

'I told you tonight I was taking care of you,' Helen reminded. Sam forced herself to argue. She would definitely indulge Helen if she finally gave in. And Sam would give the Britton as good as she received from her.

'I can't just let you perform like that on me and not get you off too.' Helen shook her head and kissed Sam's nose.

'You can. And you will. You can hardly keep your eyes open.' Sam huffed and tried to come up with something more but Helen was all too right; her eyes were falling shut and she had to focus hard to open them when she felt Helen's fingertips gently brush her lips. 'Case in point. Sleep, my darling,' Helen whispered and Sam did not argue.

She leaned into the soft kiss that Helen dropped to her forehead before curling herself against the warm body – fortunately not nearly as warm as hers – and pressing her face against Helen's full breasts. She gave a low and sleepy purr, feeling herself relax even more as she breathed in Helen's scent. The last touch that had her completely lost to the world was one of Helen's hands coming to curl around the back of her neck, gently massaging the taught muscles through her overheated skin.

The night was impossibly long and uncomfortable and she remembered why she hated being sick so much. Still, sometime shortly before noon, she managed to gather enough strength to slip into some comfortable clothes and head for Helen's office. She barely registered Helen's presence though she knew the brunette's eyes followed her every move in the room. She went for the nearby cupboard and pulled out a blanket she knew Helen kept hidden there before making her way to the couch and dropping onto it, curling up around herself. She extended an arm to grab her book which she had left on the coffee table and opened it to where she had left off, not sure how much she would be able to read.

When she woke up, she was surprised to find she had fallen asleep. She felt groggy and sleepy and decided she was not yet ready to truly wake up. The blanket had been pulled up all the way to her chin and tucked neatly around her body. No doubt Helen's doing. Sam sighed and settled more deeply into the cushions, intent on getting some more rest. But just as she thought that, she heard footsteps approaching.

'Oh, wow,' Will breathed, 'she's really dead to the world, isn't she?' He asked, most likely referring to Sam. She would have proven him wrong but she did not have the necessary energy to speak up or even open her eyes.

'Not quite,' Helen denied. 'She'll be waking up soon.' Sam almost grinned. Her lover probably knew very well that she was awake but trying to fall asleep again.

'How long has she been here?'

'About three hours. She's been asleep for over two hours which I am glad about. She spent most of last night tossing and turning and did not get much rest.' There was a pause and Sam could just imagine Helen's frown. 'Will?'

'Sorry. As I said, I'm still a bit weirded out at the idea of my boss sleeping with someone.'

'Why? I'm a reasonably normal person.' The addition of 'reasonably' prompted a small smile on Sam's lips. It was a smart move which avoided Will playfully commenting that she was _not_ a normal person.

'I know. And I know that we're closer and know more about each other than the regular boss and employee. Mostly because we're friends. And, well, because we live under the same roof. But it's still weird to see my boss in a relationship.' Once again there was a beat of silence and a wave of tension crept over the room.

'And then there's the fact that Samantha is a woman,' Helen said, the question, accusation even, evident in her voice.

'What? No! That has nothing to do with it,' Will stammered.

'Good. I did not think anyone had anything against her. I would have hated to be wrong.'

'No. Sam is fabulous. Believe me when I say we all love her.' Sam felt a wave of warmth sweep over her though it might have been the fever. 'Henry loves to geek out with her, Kate likes having another woman in the house and they get along great, Biggie likes that she can take him in a sparring match and I like her because she's smart and apparently I remind her of one of her best friends.' Sam grinned and bit her lip to hold back her laughter. Helen, on the other hand, did not hold back a laugh.

'Now that you mention it, you and Daniel do have quite a few things in common. You would probably get along quite well.'

'Right. Oh, and we all like her because she makes you happy. You should see your smile when she's around. I'm not going to lie, Magnus, you have a pretty fabulous and completely mesmerising smile.' Sam's own smile brightened and she felt her heart swell with happiness. Truer words had never been spoken. 'But when Sam's in the room? It's off the charts. It sounds cliché but you could light up the whole Sanctuary with that smile. And we all like to see you that happy.'

'That's nice of you, Will. You know, you're not going to stumble upon us having sex. But we are a couple and this is Samantha's home as much as it is mine. And, at home, I don't want to have to hide my feelings. And I don't want her to have to do so. Especially as we do not see each other often. Not nearly as often as I wish we did. I would just like to know that you won't look as shocked as you have so far if you see us kissing or hugging or doing anything remotely couple-y.'

'I get that. I'll do my best, Magnus,' he promised.

'Perfect. I have been very welcoming to Abby and I deem it only natural that Samantha be received the same way. Especially in my own home.'

'Yeah.'

'Now, was there anything you needed?' Helen asked, her voice sweet once again.

'I just wanted to tell you that the new abnormal is in containment and has been fed but I think she may have injured a paw so you might want to pay her a visit.'

'Of course. How bad?' Sam barely resisted the urge to turn around when she heard the concern in Helen's voice.

'I'm no doctor but I don't think it's too bad.'

'Very well. Thank you. I'll finish this up and head there right away.'

Sam imagined Will's nod and the smiles that the two exchanged. Just when she expected it, she heard Will's footsteps as he left the room. When he was no longer within earshot, she heard the telltale sounds of Helen pushing her chair away from her desk and walking over to the couch. Sam did not even try to pretend to be asleep. She opened her eyes and looked up at Helen, offering her a small smile which Helen returned as she leaned down and kissed Sam's forehead.

'Your temperature is still quite elevated.' Sam ignored the comment.

'You know I heard all of that, right?'

'Of course I do, love. There's nothing more I would have said had you been asleep.'

'Good. I'm glad. Now go fix the broken paw.' Helen smiled and leaned down again to kiss Sam's lips.

'I love you, Samantha. Never doubt that.'

'I don't. I love you too.' They shared another longer kiss before Helen pushed to her feet again.

'Would you like me to get you anything?'

'You coming back here when you're done with the paw?' Helen nodded. 'Tea?' Sam asked sweetly, knowing that it was the only excuse Helen needed to get herself some as well.

'With lemon?'

'Please.'

Helen grinned. Her fingers gently brushed over Sam's forehead. She winked once, turned around and left. Sam was far too awake to go back to sleep. She gingerly and awkwardly got to her feet, fighting back a dizzy spell before heading for Helen's desk. She opened the drawer in which they had left both their laptops and grabbed hers, well intent on finishing her last report that the joint chiefs would pester her for if she did not send it very soon. And she would be damned if she let them ruin her time with Helen.

Still, the whole time she was alone, she could not stop going over the conversation she had overheard. Once she was sure she had understood Helen's words as what they actually meant, she made a decision; once she felt better and was able to think straight, the two of them would have a little talk.

The talk in question came just a few days later when, just before dinner, Sam slipped her hand into Helen's and steered her in the other direction from the dining room. She shot down Helen's confusion with a smile and pulled her back towards Helen's office. She closed the door behind them as Helen took in the halfway romantic, halfway casual set up in the room. Sam had put candles on the coffee table and on the mantle but the plates and the food were set on the coffee table and it was obvious they would be eating on the couch rather than at a table. Sam turned to smile sheepishly at Helen.

'I wanted to talk to you,' she started to explain, slightly hesitant. 'I didn't really know how to do that.' Helen leaned into her and pressed a soft kiss to her lips.

'This is lovely, Samantha. You could have just come to me. I've never known you to hesitate to talk to me.'

Sam bit her lip. That much was true. They always turned to one another when they needed to talk. But, somehow, the conversation Sam had in mind seemed that much bigger than talking about her feelings or her life. Helen circled the couch and sat down, looking up at Sam when she realised she was still standing.

'Love?' Sam winced and joined her on the couch, immediately turning towards her.

'You know, I'm just going to jump in and say it because I'm way too nervous to eat and this is going to be way too awkward if we draw it out.'

Helen frowned and there was a sliver of concern on her face. Sam went over her words and realised that Helen probably thought she was breaking up. Or something equally as dramatic and Sam found herself wondering what could possibly have given Helen the idea that she did not want to be with her anymore and that times with Helen weren't the best of her life. Besides, why would she set up a romantic dinner to break up? She kissed Helen's lips in reassurance, one of her hands slipping beneath Helen's, tangling their fingers and squeezing gently.

'I'm thinking of retiring,' she blurted out.

'Retiring?' Helen repeated.

'Yes. I'm tired. I'm tired of working so hard, being the one person the Air Force goes to whenever there is the slightest snag. I'm tired of sending people out to their deaths. And, more than anything, I'm tired of putting my work before my personal life.'

'I can understand that,' Helen agreed, her hands squeezing Sam's comfortingly. 'So you're going to retire?'

'It's a little bit more complicated than that.'

'How so?'

'Well, I have a pretty specific idea in mind as to what I would like to do once I retire. But I don't want to send the papers until it's actually going to work.'

'Okay?'

'I would like to come live here,' Sam finally said, worrying her lower lip.

Helen smiled, lifting a hand to Sam's face. Her thumb brushed Sam's lower lip and pulled it out from beneath her teeth. Once again, she leaned in and pressed their lips together, her tongue darting out and pushing its way into Sam's mouth until they were both battling for power. Sam let out a moan of pleasure and relief, her arms slipping around Helen's shoulders. She needed to hold the woman, to feel Helen's soft body against hers to calm herself down. Helen's fingers brushed over her cheeks until they slipped into the hair at her temples.

Helen made to pull back but Sam followed, unwilling to let go of her just yet, still needing to feel Helen's lips against hers. She felt Helen grin into the kiss and felt herself relax even more, finally pulling away after a few very long – and lovely – moments. Helen grinned at Sam, pecking her lips one more time before she let her lips brush over Sam's forehead. Sam smiled sweetly at her, feeling much more comfortable and relaxed.

'That sounds fantastic,' Helen confirmed, as if her actions had not already spoken for her. Sam grinned. 'I can't imagine why you were so worried.'

'Probably the same reason you thought I had bad news,' Sam shot back, smiling teasingly.

She chuckled when she saw the slightest hint of a blush appear on Helen's cheeks. She leaned forward, kissing the slightly reddened cheeks, still grinning at the fact that she had managed to make Helen Magnus blush. It wasn't that she was happy that she had managed to worry her so much, quite on the contrary. But she found her worrying so incredibly cute and she couldn't help but feel smug about that. Not that she really should; she would have been just as scared and so much more had their positions been reversed and had seen been the one waiting for Helen to possibly drop a bomb on her.

'Guess I'm retiring then,' Sam concluded as she pulled away, keeping their hands locked, their fingers intertwined.

'I guess so. When did you make this decision?' Helen asked, her hands slipping away as she leaned towards the coffee table to grab two bread sticks.

'I started thinking about it a while ago. I talked to Jack and, on the flight over, thought I would probably talk to you before I left again. And then I heard what you said to Will the other day which is when I decided to tell you.'

'What did I say to him?'

'That you wished we saw each other more often.'

'Oh. I didn't – I never expected you to do anything about that.' Sam smiled.

'I know. But since you and I both want that, why hold back?' Helen nodded, moving a hand to caress Sam's cheek, her fingers playing with a lock of blonde hair before she pushed it back behind Sam's ear. Sam leaned into the touch, closing her eyes and dropping a soft kiss to Helen's wrist.

'You living here with me permanently? I can wrap my head around that,' Helen decided, kissing Sam's forehead once. 'Actually, that's a lie. I can't wait until it's more than a plan.'

'Neither can I. But it's probably going to take some time. I have a lot of things to deal with at the base and, even when I've handed in my resignation, I'll probably have to work for a while longer before I am officially retired.' Helen nodded, her hand moving until her thumb was brushing Sam's lips.

'It's alright, love. I understand. Although I'm trying not to get my hopes up too high. You are the Air Force's girl wonder. They cherish you and they will no doubt have a lot of trouble letting you go out into the wild world.' Sam's tongue darted out to lick Helen's thumb before playfully nibbling on it.

'Funny. Jack said the same thing.'

'Did he now? What exactly did he tell you?' Helen asked.

Before Sam could start answering, Helen toed off her shoes and made herself more comfortable until her head was resting on Sam's shoulder. Sam kissed the top of her head and proceeded to imitate her. They wiggled around for a bit, giggling and laughing, finally finding a solution that pleased them both; Sam lying on her back on the sofa and Helen squeezed between the back of the couch and Sam's body, her head resting on Sam's shoulder, one leg bent and resting on top of her legs. Sam repeatedly kissed the top of the brunette head. One of her hands was resting on her stomach, fingers tangled with Helen's. The other one was gently brushing the dark locks, her fingers starting at Helen's temple, slipping down the long strands and starting over.

She heard a low sigh come from the woman resting against her and looked down, smiling and kissing her forehead when she noticed Helen's eyelids were closed and she was breathing deeply. If she didn't know her so well, she would almost believe that the brunette was fast asleep. But she knew better and another clue that she was still awake was her thumb, rubbing tender circles on Sam's hand. Sam closed her eyes, resting her cheek against the top of her lover's head, breathing in the scent she loved so much.

'So, what did Jack say?' Helen quietly asked again. Sam thought for a second, replaying the scene in her mind.

'Well, he was a bit surprised. But then he said that, if that was what would make me happy, I should go for it. And he said he didn't think the Air Force would let me go so easily.' Helen let out a low chuckle. 'He also said he wished he could thank George for bringing you to the SGC because, otherwise, you and I would never have met.'

'He did?' Sam nodded, knowing that Helen would feel the movement against her head. 'He's right.'

'He is. And he said that he's happy for us and that he hopes I'll still visit him once I've moved my clothes into your closet.' Helen laughed.

'_Our_ closet. If you're to move here permanently, it definitely becomes our closet.' Sam grinned.

'Our closet,' she repeated. They both revealed in just being together until a knock at the door broke through the silence. Sam let out a low groan which made Helen laugh.

'Come in,' she called, not showing the slightest indication that she planned on moving any time soon.

And Sam hoped that it meant she would evaluate how much she was truly needed and have someone else do the job if she could be replaced. If so, she probably wanted to have moved as little as possible. Sam took that as an indication that they were both equally sleepy and that, if they hadn't been interrupted, they would have no doubt fallen asleep right there. Or at the very least, slumbered for a good while. Until one of them woke up sometime later that night and woke the other up so they would sleepily stagger their way to bed, falling onto it and back into each other arms.

Or perhaps they would have moved just enough that Sam was suddenly woken up due to a sudden and brutal contact with the floor.

'Will?' Helen asked, prompting Sam to follow her gaze and look up at the psychiatrist.

She offered him a small smile. Neither one of them had moved any part of their bodies but their heads. They were still pressed together on the too small sofa, one of Helen's legs resting over hers, their fingers entwined on Sam's abdomen. Helen's skirt had hitched up quite a bit revealing much more leg than she usually would and Sam had to resist the urge to glare at Will when his eyes strayed to Helen's thigh and remained there just a bit too long for her liking. Her fingers were still brushing Helen's hair.

'Magnus, we need you,' Will stated, his eyes going back and forth between the two women. Helen turned her head, pressing her face into Sam's shoulder and sighed before looking back up at the young man.

'Is there any chance you could do it without me?' Will winced.

'Unlikely. Skippy escaped his cell.'

'Again?' Helen exclaimed. She shook her head against Sam's shoulder. 'We really have to find something better.' Will nodded.

'He found a way into a vent. And you know he won't come out for anyone but you.'

Helen grumbled under her breath. She pressed her lips to the spot where Sam's neck met her shoulder, nuzzling it slightly until Sam giggled and tried to escape the attack. Helen smiled, pecked her cheek and pushed herself up, throwing her legs over Sam's and raising an eyebrow at Will when she noticed he was, once again, gazing at her legs. He blushed and shuffled his feet while Helen pushed to her feet, smoothing down her skirt and slipping back into her shoes. She turned to smile at Will, leaning down to kiss Sam once.

'Life at the Sanctuary, love. This is what it'll be,' she whispered against Sam's lips.

Sam watched as the two left the room, smiling to herself. Life at the Sanctuary, indeed. This was exactly what she wanted.


	7. Chapter 7

Hello there. I had promised that I would post chapter 7 very quickly and even more so if I got a lot of reviews. And that, I certainly did. So, dear readers, here is chapter 7. You will understand, as you read, why I wanted to post it this weekend. :)

It just so happens to be one of my favourite chapters. If not my favourite one. Let me know what you think about it. :D I'm not quite satisfied with chapter 8 so I might do some more tweaking which means I can't guarantee when I'll post it but I won't make you wait long.

A very Merry Christmas to all of you.

Enjoy. :)

**Chapter 7**

Sam sighed as she walked into the warm restaurant. The contrast between the outside and the inside was impressive. She started unbuttoning her coat and tugged off her scarf and gloves as a young waitress approached her, startling slightly as she saw the dress blues under Sam's coat – also Air Force issued but much more discreet. She got over her shock quickly enough and Sam decided that she was probably new at the restaurant but that this wasn't her first military personnel sighting. After all, quite a few officers and airmen often had lunch or dinner in this particular restaurant.

'How may I help you today?' She asked cheerfully. Sam smiled at her.

'I have a reservation for lunch. Name's Carter. Three people. One might already be here. Air Force General. Tall, grey hair, brown eyes.'

'Yes, of course. Your table is right over there,' she informed, vaguely motioning for the back of the room which allowed Sam to spot the table in question. 'Let me show you over.'

'That won't be necessary,' Sam declined. 'Thank you,' she added, offering the girl her sweetest smile.

When she reached the table, Jack was already standing. She smiled at him, set her coat, scarf, cap and gloves on one of the two free chairs and slipped into his waiting arms, welcoming the warm hug and the affectionate kiss he pressed to her cheek. They pulled away but Jack leaned in again to kiss her forehead.

'It's good to see you,' Sam breathed.

'Back atcha. How are you?' He asked as they both sat down. Sam rubbed her hands together to warm them up.

'Great. I've really been looking forward to today.' Jack laughed and took a sip of water which made Sam realise that she had been poured a glass of water as well.

'You do realise that most people are married by the time they've been in couple for what? Seven years?'

'Almost eight,' Sam corrected. 'And I wish it were that simple. Besides, when have we ever done anything like normal people? You, me or Helen.' He nodded.

'How long will you two be here?'

Sam did not have time to answer. She felt a hand slip under her braid, cupping the back of her neck. Sam looked up, welcoming Helen's chaste, gentle and all too brief – though perfectly appropriate – kiss. She grinned, lifting a hand to squeeze Helen's elbow in silent greeting. The hand on her neck slipped away as Helen stepped towards Jack, hugging him loosely and leaning into the kiss he pressed to her cheek. She took the last chair and lifted a hand to briefly brush Sam's cheek.

'Hi,' Sam greeted. 'We were just talking about you.'

'Is that so?'

'Yep. How long are you staying?'

'Three nights at least.' Sam pulled a face.

'I'm only staying for two nights. And I only have the hotel room for two nights.'

'It's quite alright, love. I have a lot of friends and favours to call in.' Sam smiled at that.

'And if nothing works, you'll just spend the night in your guest room at the White House?'

'Something like that.'

'You know,' Jack interrupted, prompting both women to tear their eyes from each other and turn to look at him. 'I have two guest rooms. Not that you would need the second one.' Sam bit her lower lip.

'Ah. That's very nice of you, Jack, but I-uh-I don't think we should,' she stammered. Her cheeks were burning and she had no doubt they were bright red. In an attempt to hide and calm down, she grabbed her glass of water and took a long sip.

'Right,' Jack mumbled, looking down at his fork, equally as uncomfortable.

'Well, this isn't awkward at all,' Helen stated, breaking the tension and making them both smile and chuckle. A waitress walked up to their table and turned their attention away from the conversation.

After the awkward start, the three of them got back to their usual footing and lunch was lovely and over all too quickly but Sam knew that it had to be that way. All three of them were busy and they did not have much time for lunch. She reached into one of the pockets of her coat just after Jack had paid, coming up victorious when she found one of the hotel room key cards. She handed it to Helen with a slightly crooked smile.

'In case you're done before I am. Room 1708.' Helen grabbed the card and grinned mischievously. Sam shook her head though she was unable to contain the smile on her face. 'When do you think you'll be done?'

'Early evening, I'd say.' Sam nodded and followed Jack's move when he stood up.

'So, Christmas at your place?' He asked, looking at Sam. She grinned and nodded, looking forward to the holiday.

'It'll just be an improved team night with more people, better food and presents. I don't have enough room for a table for nine people.'

'Eight,' he corrected.

'Eight?'

'Eva's not coming,' he explained.

For a moment, Sam wondered if the two had broken up. He hadn't seemed any different and she was confident that he would have told her if something had happened between the two of them. Still, maybe he hadn't and maybe that was why he had offered for them to stay with him; maybe he did not like going home to an empty apartment with reminders of his happy few months with Eva. Maybe he wanted company. She hoped she hadn't shot him down when all he really wanted was to have friends around.

'Her brother's in the hospital,' he added after a few instants.

'Oh, God. Is he okay?'

'He had a heart attack. Pretty massive one. He's resting and getting better but apparently his doctor's opinion is guarded.' Sam winced.

'Well, give them both my best. I hope they don't end up spending Christmas at the hospital. You're still coming though?' She asked, her eyes tracing over his slightly tight features. He nodded.

'Yeah. Eva wouldn't have it any other way. She said she'd personally drag me to your house if I even thought about staying here.' Sam and Helen laughed.

'See,' Sam started, 'that's why I like her. But that doesn't really solve the issue at hand. Whether for eight or nine people, I don't have room for a table. I'll call everybody and ask them if they want to go to the restaurant or if kitchen counter and coffee table are okay.'

'Don't bother, Sam,' Jack interrupted her before she could go into a full on rant. He exchanged one look with Helen, checking that both women were ready to go before starting towards the front door. 'Christmas is about family, not about eating the right meal in the right setting. At least, not for us. Cassie and Teal'c can share a seat. You know how much he loves to cuddle.' Sam chuckled and shook her head at him but she didn't stop him when he went on. 'Daniel will be hard put to tear Vala away from him anyway. You and Helen can do some snuggling too.'

'And so you're left with Cameron,' Helen piped in. They both turned to look at her smiling face. 'Will you two be cuddling as well?' Jack froze for a second while both women smiled at him sweetly. He shook his head and glared at them, finally deciding to focus on Sam.

'One of you, I can handle. Two? Too much for an old man like me,' he decided.

Sam turned to Helen and they exchanged a long look and a smile, laughing at Jack's attitude. They followed him out of the restaurant and Sam shivered as she stepped into the cold. She turned her back to the freezing wind. Two warm hands cupped her face and she was very happy she hadn't put on her cap yet when Helen pressed a warm kiss to her lips.

'Better?'

'Little bit.' Helen smiled and kissed her again, a tad bit more forcefully. 'Hm,' Sam hummed, pressing her face against the side of Helen's neck, feeling the vibrations as the brunette laughed and rested a hand on the back of Sam's head.

'I'd love to hold you until we get somewhere warmer, darling, but we're going in opposite directions and we really shouldn't be late.'

Sam nodded against Helen's scarf and the tiny patch of warm skin her nose had found after digging a little bit. She reluctantly pulled away, fiddling with Helen's scarf to make sure that there would be no access for the cold winter air. Her gloved hands cupped Helen's face and she kissed her a couple of times, reluctant to pull away. Finally, they parted. Sam put on her cap and joined Jack a bit farther on the sidewalk. He started walking again as soon as she reached him, lifting a hand to rest it high on her back, gently rubbing it to warm her up. Sam looked up at him when they turned into another street, feeling that he had something to say.

'I swear Sam, if you two don't get married within the next two years, I will personally come and drag you both by the scruff of the neck and get you married,' he playfully threatened, his arm coming to rest fully around her shoulders. Sam smiled.

'It's a little bit more complicated than that,' she argued.

'Because you're two women? She lives in Canada, doesn't she?' Sam nodded. 'Well there you go.' She rolled her eyes.

'There's more than that. We talked about marriage – in general – a long time ago and she said she had never gotten married and never would. She said she wasn't the marrying kind and the simple fact that we're in a long term, steady and exclusive relationship is astounding enough. I don't think her opinion has changed, even if it were to be me, and I don't want to push her. I know what she's been through.' She felt Jack's eyes on her and looked up, offering him a small smile which he returned.

'Alright then. But if you ever need someone to walk you down the aisle or be your man of honour.' Sam laughed at that.

'Well, I'd probably have Cassie as a maid of honour. But I highly doubt my brother would walk me down the aisle if I were to stand across from Helen so I might, some day, take you up on the first offer,' she pondered.

As she said the words, she realised how meaningful his giving her away to Helen would be. No matter how long it had been since they admitted their affection – because they avoided the word love – for each other and no matter how long it had been since they tried to make things work between them, there would always be a special place in her heart for him. After all, she had loved him and thought that he was the one for her for eight years only to realise that they had waited too long; that they had ruined any chance they had of ever getting what they had dreamed of. It wasn't something that she could get over easily, if ever.

'I'm just a phone call away,' he promised.

Sam leaned further into him and sighed happily. Christmas would be good. And Christmas was barely ten days away.

It came quicker than expected and, before she knew it, Sam had a foot of snow in her garden and arms full of Cassie while Helen was cooking in the kitchen. She held the girl tightly. She still couldn't wrap her head around the fact that SG-1's little girl was a beautiful young woman in her mid twenties. When they pulled away, Sam took the time to check Cassie over, making sure that her girl was fine. Finally, she was satisfied and kissed her forehead.

'It's so good to see you, sweetie,' she whispered, pulling her in for another brief, loose hug.

'You too, Sam. Anybody already here?'

'Helen,' she answered with a smile.

'She's here?' Cassie asked, a grin started to pull at the corners of her lips. 'Inviting her over for Christmas? You two really are serious.'

'We wanted to spend Christmas together.'

Cassie's smile brightened even more as she set down her bag and got rid of her outside clothes and shoes. She followed Sam back to the kitchen and let out something that sounded a lot like a squeal when she saw the brunette from behind. Helen set down her spatula and turned around, grinning brightly at Cassie, stepping up to her and welcoming her hug. They held each other for a few long moments and Sam looked at the two women with a loving smile. They were her family. Of course, the boys and Vala were her family as well. Especially her three original SG-1 boys. But there was something particular and special about seeing Helen hug Cassie so lovingly that made her heart swell with love and happiness.

She hopped onto the counter as they stepped away from each other. Sam kept her eyes on them and frowned when she noticed the look in Helen's eyes, pained and slightly empty, warm, needy and desperate for love and to be held. She immediately knew who her lover was thinking about. Of course, Cassie and Ashley weren't the same and though Sam had never met Ashley, which she was always sad about, she knew that they did not look too much alike. But, from what Helen had told her about her daughter, the two girls were quite similar and were the same age. They would have gotten along very well, Helen had told her after she met Cassie the first time.

Helen's eyes found hers and Sam smiled warmly, lovingly and comfortingly at her, trying to convey all her strength and support. She knew she had succeeded when Helen's attempt at a reassuring smile turned into actual relief and comfort. Sam, once again, took a moment to take Helen in. She looked beautiful. Of course, she always did, but there was something about her that day that was particularly charming and made her look even lovelier than usual. She was wearing a dark red wool dress with a thin black belt loose around her hips, black stockings and a pair of black ballerinas. One look around the room answered Sam's question. Her shawl had been abandoned on the back of the couch, probably because it got in the way of her cooking and maybe because it was too warm.

Sam watched as Cassie sniffled at each pot, plate and tray of food, getting the back of her hand slapped by a very motherly Helen when she tried to taste something. Sam thought for a second about the reason why the attire made Helen look so much more beautiful. Maybe it wasn't the outfit but just that Helen looked more relaxed, happier than usual. Or maybe it was because it fit perfectly with her classy and elegant way of dressing and still made her look casual and would make her fit in perfectly with the rest of the odd bunch. Sam shook her head, noticing that Cassie had disappeared and that Helen was looking at her with a small smile. Sam looked around and frowned.

'Where'd Cass go?'

'Bathroom. She wanted to change into her clothes for the evening.' Sam nodded, watching as Helen focused on the food once more. A couple of minutes later, Helen turned around and, with the back of her hand, tapped the side Sam's knee twice.

'Hey!' Sam whined. 'What's that for?' Helen smiled up at her.

'Get off the counter. I need a spoon.' Sam shook her head at Helen.

'And you couldn't just say so?'

'I could. But you're far too cute when you pout to pass up on such a golden opportunity.'

Sam's mouth fell open. She was about to argue that she wasn't pouting but Helen leaned up and pecked her lips once. Sam playfully glared at her grinning lover and hopped off. The instant her feet touched the floor, there was a knock at the door. She made her way there and opened it, pulling Daniel into a loose hug. Sam playfully rolled her eyes at Jack when his kiss "accidentally slipped" from her cheek to the corner of her lips and lingered there longer than was really necessary. Still, she couldn't help but smile at him. She followed the two men back into her house and grinned when she saw that Cassie had come running from the back of the house when she had heard the knock. Sam watched them hug as she walked back to Helen, slapping her butt as she walked past and grinning victoriously when Helen looked at her, startled.

'Now we're even,' Sam simply stated, her grin widening when Helen laughed and shook her head.

Later that evening, Sam walked back into the room, taking it in. Jack, Cassie and Daniel were sitting on the couch, squished together while Cam and Teal'c had taken up the two armchairs. She couldn't see Vala but she suspected she was sitting on the floor with her back against the couch. The tree was decorated and lit and a surprising amount of presents were sitting under it, waiting to be opened. It was beautiful. And Sam was happy with the outcome. Jack had been right. It didn't matter that they would be squished around the small coffee table to eat, sitting on the couch, the armchairs, set up chairs or the floor. They were together, an odd but loving family.

Sam found the last member of the family. Her heart was torn between happiness and fear as she thought about the fact that everything was about to change, that, next year, nothing would be the same. She would always have her family, she didn't doubt that. But things would be different and she hoped that they could still have this. She briefly wondered what she was worried about. Of course they would still have this. They were already scattered all over the country and the galaxy. Her moving as well wouldn't change their bond. Helen was standing near the kitchen counter, a pensive and slightly dreamy look on her face. Sam walked over to her, wrapping her arms around her waist from behind. She rested her chin on Helen's shoulder and kissed her cheek.

'You are so beautiful,' she complimented, resting her head against Helen's, noticing her grin out of the corner of her eye.

'You think so?'

'I do. You always are. But there's something about you today. I can't tell what it is but you're even more beautiful than usual,' she honestly said, kissing her cheek again. Helen's hands came to rest on hers, squeezing them gently, tangling their fingers.

'Thank you, darling.'

'Do you want to tell me what you're thinking about?'

'Family,' Helen answered without a hint of hesitation. 'I do feel somewhat guilty about leaving my team on their own at the Sanctuary. I know it won't be the same for them. But this is absolutely lovely, Sam. And I'm glad you suggested we spend Christmas together this year. For the first time since Ashley passed, Christmas doesn't create a gaping hole in my heart. This is heart warming and fulfilling. I miss Ashley dearly but this feels incredible.'

Sam smiled at the gentle and beautiful speech, her heart swelling with happiness and she felt herself fall even more in love with the other woman. Her arms tightened around Helen's waist when she heard the shorter version of her name. She knew that Helen used it very rarely and only on very special occasions. She had used it a few times when she was worried and "Sam" came out quicker than "Samantha" – and a few more times when they had fought – but, otherwise, each time was anchored in Sam's heart because of how special the occurrence was.

'And I'm really glad you're here. This feels right.' Helen nodded against her head and Sam grinned when she noticed they had started swaying gently. She giggled into Helen's ear when the woman hummed slightly, giving their swaying an actual rhythm. 'Now I know why you're even more beautiful tonight than usual,' she whispered. 'Because you're relaxed and happy.'

'That might very well be.'

'Forget the fairy tale princes,' Cassie stated. Their arms still wrapped around each other, Sam and Helen both turned to look at her, finding her looking at them dreamily. 'This is what I want.'

They both smiled and Sam kissed the corner of Helen's lips, stepping a mere breath away from her. Her hand trailed Helen's back before grabbing her hand, linking their fingers and gently pulling her towards the living room. She had brought blankets and pillows, creating a small corner that would be more comfortable to sit on than the hardwood floor. It was the only space left available so Sam headed there, pulling Helen down with her.

'If you find a guy who cherishes you like these two ladies love each other, I'll let him marry you,' Jack informed her, his arm wrapped around her shoulders, holding her to him.

'Most guys are idiots,' she stated, prompting Daniel and Cam to pretend to be offended.

'Now, that's what I like to hear,' Jack agreed, receiving a chorus of laughter in return.

Sam stretched her legs out and leaned back against the wall, letting Helen play with her fingers as they both took in the family atmosphere that wrapped around them and warmed them up. Dinner, as planned, was a casual affair and, as expected, Sam got teased to no end due to the fact that she had let Helen cook in order not to burn their Christmas dinner. And Helen was complimented for her cooking skills. Jack was complimented on his cake-choosing skills.

'Can we open the presents now?' Cassie finally asked. Sam smiled.

'We can,' Sam decided. 'On one condition.' She waited a beat before turning to look at Helen. 'I have several presents for you but you're only getting one tonight. And it's going to be the last opened.' Helen looked at her questioningly.

'Alright. Anything I should be worried about?' Sam smiled.

'Nope. Go ahead, Cass.'

That was all the young woman needed and Sam grinned at her childlike excitement for Christmas presents. She was happy to distribute the presents and, after a long while and quite a few hugs and kisses exchanged, there was only one white and non-descript envelope under the tree with Helen's name on it. Sam leaned over to grab it and handed it to Helen.

'This is actually a bit of an announcement to all of you because things are going to change quite a bit,' Sam informed, nervously worrying her lower lip.

'Sam, if you're pregnant, you're going to have some explaining to do,' Jack called out, relaxing the atmosphere. Sam chuckled and shook her head.

'If I'm pregnant, biology and my body will have some explaining to do,' she shot back with a smile. 'Unless I've missed something and men are no longer needed for that.' She turned to look at Helen again.

She gave an almost imperceptible nod and Helen opened the envelope, pulling out a sheet of paper. She frowned but started reading it, her eyebrows shooting up as the words rang through Sam's head again. She did not need to see them to know them. She smiled sheepishly at Helen when she looked up, eyes wide.

'Really?' Helen breathed, her voice somewhat shaky and unsteady. Sam nodded. 'Oh, bloody Hell,' she gasped. Sam grinned.

'Good?'

'Utterly amazing,' Helen answered, a grin brightening on her face.

Her hands cupped Sam's face and she pressed their lips together, her teeth gently nibbling on Sam's lower lip. Sam moaned against the soft lips, trying to remember that they weren't alone in the room. Thankfully, Helen remembered for her and pulled away, dropping her head to Sam's shoulder for the briefest moment. They heard a cough and both turned towards Cam.

'Hey, ladies. So that was very hot but can we get an explanation?' Sam smiled and handed him the sheet of paper which he read quickly. 'You retired?' He exclaimed.

'What?' Daniel, Cassie and Vala asked at once. Sam winced.

'I retired,' she confirmed. 'I'd been thinking about it for a while and I finally decided that it's what's best for me and that it's what I want. I went to D.C. to have a few conversations with the Joint Chiefs, the IOA and with President.'

'_That's_ why you were in Washington?' Helen asked. 'You didn't tell me.' Sam smiled. 'We saw each other there and you didn't tell me,' Helen repeated, pretending to be offended but Sam saw right through her act.

'No. I figured since it was so close to Christmas, I'd make it a present for you.' Helen smiled and kissed the back of Sam's hand.

'Wait, you _retired_?' Daniel repeated. Sam shot him a sweet smile.

'Yes. I can't do it anymore, Daniel. I can't send men and women through the gate every day, knowing that there's a real chance they won't come back. Especially knowing what's out there. It's been eating at me for a long time and I can't do it anymore. And from the moment I'd really considered retiring, I knew I wasn't going to last much longer because I had the choice. And, quite honestly, I'm done putting my professional life before my personal life.'

'I still can't believe they let you go,' Jack grumbled. Sam laughed.

'Jealous much?'

'Hell yes, I'm jealous.' Sam grinned.

'So what's happening now?' Daniel pushed, ignoring Jack and Sam's comments.

'Well, tonight's Christmas Eve. And tomorrow is Christmas. With a little bit of luck, nothing that warrants any one of us being on base will happen. I'll still be working at the SGC until mid February. They wanted me to stay for a couple more months so I could clear up my business and make the transition for my successor easier.'

'Who will that be?' Cam asked.

'I'm not sure yet. But I made sure you were on the short list,' she told him, smiling.

'Really?'

'Yep.'

'Cool. And once you're done working?'

'Once I'm done working, I'll move to Old City.' Several pairs of eyebrows shot up and Sam had to bite her lip not to laugh out at the comical picture they made. 'It was my idea all along; retiring to move to Old City. I'll still be a consultant for the SGC though. I'll have quite a few meetings in the next few weeks to set something up but, more likely than not, there'll be regular conference calls and I'll come visit once a month or so. Those were the terms. Otherwise, they wouldn't have let me go.'

'What will you be doing in Old City?' Cassie asked. 'I mean, apart from being with your girlfriend.' Sam wrinkled her nose and shot Helen a look.

'We have _got_ to find something better than 'girlfriend.'' Helen smiled and nodded before Sam turned back to Cassie. 'I'll be joining Helen's team and working with them.'

'Doing what?' Cassie asked, confused. Sam winced and turned to look at Helen, silently asking for authorisation to tell them. Helen cringed slightly and Sam nodded, turning back to the rest of the group. Before she could answer that she couldn't really tell them, Helen, spoke up.

'My work is very private but I protect humans and creatures I call abnormals from each other. I own Sanctuaries all over the world to serve that purpose.' Sam turned to look at her questioningly.

'I thought you didn't want to-'

'If you're to live with me, I can't ask you to keep your whole life from your friends,' Sam smiled and leaned in to kiss her cheek as Helen looked at Sam's family. 'And, if you can keep something such as the Stargate Program a secret, I believe you can keep this a secret as well. However, forgive me if I don't tell you more.'

There was a general air of confusion but, finally, they all simply nodded in acceptance and understanding. Like Helen had said; the concept of keeping a secret wasn't new to any of them and while they had sometimes been allowed to tell people about the Stargate, they couldn't go into details about it. Technically, that was Helen's status but Sam had ignored that and the Briton knew much more than she was supposed to know.

'I didn't know you were thinking of leaving the SGC,' Daniel started.

Sam looked up at him, feeling her heart clench a bit in guilt as she remembered how close they had been several years ago. Of course, they were still very good friends but she felt as if there was a barrier between them and she was pretty sure she was responsible for that. She silently vowed that she would make things better before she left for Old City. She couldn't leave one of her best friends when their relationship was less than ideal, knowing that they would be separated more often and that they wouldn't be as close as they used to.

'I wasn't sure they would let me go. Can't have my people know how much the job is affecting me and that I'm not completely in it.' He nodded.

'You didn't tell anyone that you'd retired?' He asked. Sam shook her head.

'No. I would have if I hadn't already known that I'd have you all here for Christmas.'

'I found out,' Jack piped in and Sam grinned when she shot him a look, noticing that his arm was curled around Cassie who was resting comfortably against him.

'Yes, well,' Sam simply mumbled as she remembered a specific phone call.

'_General Carter,' Sam said into the phone, still focused on the forms she was signing._

'_You sneaky little lovebird,' an amused voice drifted into her ear. Sam's hand froze over the paper and she looked up, startled._

'_I-what? Jack?'_

'_You were in D.C. to discuss the terms of your retirement and you didn't tell me.' Sam frowned._

'_Yes, I was and you weren't supposed to find out. How come you know?'_

'_Well, you see, it turns out Homeworld Security is informed when the head of the SGC retires. So I arrived this morning and did some paperwork and, suddenly, as I was about to start my third cup of coffee, I found myself face to face with a form informing me that, upon request, one Brigadier General Samantha Carter would be retired and would act as a consultant for the SGC as of February the fourteenth.'_

'_Ah. Right.'_

'_Congratulations, Sam. How did you do it?'_

'_I accepted to remain as a consultant.'_

'_Seems like a fair enough price to pay to be free. So February the fourteenth, huh?' She rolled her eyes._

'_Don't go there. I wasn't the one to set the date.'_

'_Still quite romantic.'_

'_Shut up,' she shot back, knowing that she was blushing slightly despite her smile. Before either one of them could add anything, the alarms started blaring announcing an unscheduled offworld activation. 'Duty calls.'_

'_Off you go. Congratulations again.'_

'_Thanks,' she just barely called back before hanging up and standing up, hurriedly making her way towards the control room. _

_The heels and skirt were slowing her down, of course, but she felt the dress blues were necessary on a daily basis. It was the power suit that they all needed to be reminded that she was no longer just a member of the flag team and one of the lead scientists in the program. She was a former member of the flag team. And while she was no longer the go to person in matter of science, quite a few people still came to her with scientific questions. She wasn't just a woman in the Air Force. She was woman in the Air Force who was in charge of the base and whose orders everybody had to comply with._

Much later that night, Sam let out a low hum when she felt the familiar tingling that came with having someone with Naquadah in their blood nearby. She pressed her face into her pillow, too sleepy to really wonder why she felt said tingling when she was sleeping in her own bed, next to Helen.

'Would you like me to leave you two?' Helen's voice breathed. Sam did not register the words but she did take in that Helen was clearly talking to someone. They had slept in the same bed enough that Sam knew Helen didn't talk in her sleep so she had to be awake.

'Who're you talking to?' Sam slurred, inching closer to Helen and pressing her face against the brunette's shoulder. Sam felt the bed dip behind her and frowned, turning around and cracking an eye open. 'Cassie?' She breathed, welcoming the young woman into her arms. 'Honey, are you okay?' Cassie nodded against Sam's shoulder.

'We do this every year for Christmas, especially since mom-' she trailed off and Sam pressed a kiss to the top of Cassie's head. 'I thought, if Helen doesn't mind, I could come sleep in your bed.' Sam smiled, her arms tightening around Cassie.

'Of course, honey. I'm sorry I didn't think about this when we went to bed.' Cassie shook her head and pressed herself further against Sam.

Sam smiled and tried to look over her shoulder. Her eyes met Helen's and, with one long look, Sam knew that Helen didn't mind. Helen pressed one kiss to Sam's shoulder before resting her forehead against it and settling in to go back to sleep. Sam smiled to herself, glad that she had been wearing a tank top – Helen's – and cotton underwear when Cassie slipped into bed with them. She tightened her hold on the already sleeping girl as she felt a new surge of guilt. She should have thought about Cassie and told her that she could join her in bed that night.

It was a tradition that had started on Cassie's first Christmas on Earth. SG-1 had spent Christmas Eve with Janet and Cassie. Sam had spent the night there because she had deemed she'd had just a little bit too much to drink and because a storm was on the way. Not only had she not wanted to drive when the snow got progressively heavier but there had been absolutely no way she would do that when she'd had one or two glasses too many. She had folded out the couch and curled up on it. Very early that morning, as the wind was blowing loudly outside, Cassie had gotten scared. She had gone back to being the terrified little girl they had found on Hanka and had instantly turned to the first and only person she had trusted at the time. She had slipped under Sam's nest of blankets, curling her small, shivering body against Sam's. Since then, they had spent every Christmas Eve night in the same bed, snuggled up like a couple of kittens.

Sam pressed her face into Cassie's dark blonde hair, breathing in, feeling herself relax as she felt Cassie's warm body flush against hers and Helen's warm breath against her bare shoulder. A leg sneaked between hers and it took her a moment to realise it was Helen's. She smiled and leaned back just a bit, feeling Helen's warmth against her back, slowly allowing herself to drift off as well.

When she woke up the following morning, it took her a few very long moments to remember why the warm body pressed against hers was on her left rather than on her right and to understand why, when she opened her eyes, she looked straight into Cassie's brown eyes rather than Helen's blue ones. She blinked a few times, looking to her right, frowning when she noticed it was only Cassie and her.

She clearly remembered going to sleep with Helen next to her. And, when she thought about it, she could remember Cassie slipping into their bed in the middle of the night. And she remembered that she had fallen asleep with both women. So where on Earth was Helen? And, more importantly, what had happened that she was up before Sam? That never happened. Unless Helen was working and Sam decided to sleep in but, even then, Helen had only managed to sneak out of bed without waking Sam once.

She turned back around to look at Cassie's smiling face and leaned in to kiss her forehead.

'Morning,' Sam slurred. 'What did you do with my girlfriend?' She teasingly asked. Cassie laughed.

'She was already up when I woke up but I heard her tinkering around in the kitchen so she might be doing last night's dishes and preparing breakfast.' Sam let out a low hum.

'I knew there was a reason I keep her around.'

Cassie chuckled and extended a hand to poke Sam's side a few times. Sam shrieked and giggled, readying herself for the full scale attack that Cassie had started. They tickled each other for a few long moments, finally declaring a truce when they were both lying flush on their back, breathing hard. They turned to look at each other, bright smiles lighting up their faces. Cassie's eyes trailed over Sam's shoulder.

'Aw, that's cute,' she commented. Sam frowned.

'What is?'

'Those pictures of Helen and you,' Cassie clarified.

She pushed herself up slightly and leaned over Sam, shamelessly squishing her to the mattress, to grab the frame before settling back down. She examined the pictures closely and smiled. Sam's own lips pulled into a grin as she saw the familiar pictures. The frame had been a Christmas present from Daniel. It was divided into three smaller ones; two small ones on one side and a bigger one on the other. She didn't have many pictures of Helen. Actually, she had had a hard time finding three until she had gone to the botanical garden with Helen and Jack and he had snagged her camera and, instead of taking pictures of flowers, had kept taking pictures of the two of them.

One of Sam's favourite pictures had been taken that day. She had just walked up to Helen and had been whispering in her ear when Jack had taken it. It showed Sam's front pressed to Helen's arm, their fingers loosely tangled, Sam's lips almost brushing Helen's ear. They were both smiling brightly and Helen's head was cocked towards Sam's lips. There was a beautiful flower bed behind them but Sam never paid attention to that. It had taken her a very long time to even notice it. All she could see was how happy and fulfilled they both looked on the photograph.

The picture in the bottom right corner of frame had been taken that day as well. It was yet another shot that Jack had taken without warning them. Later that same day, they had found a small park and had sat down on a bench. Jack had gone off to buy them some drinks and, when he had come back, he had quickly taken out the camera that he had still refused to give back and taking a picture of them kissing. It had been a chaste and gentle kiss but he had been quick enough. It had turned out better than expected and, in the end, Sam had agreed to not delete it. Each time she had looked at it, she had liked it more and more until she finally printed it and added it to the frame.

The third picture, in the top right corner, Sam had taken herself. They had been at the Sanctuary and had been doing some work which she could not get out of. Just as she had unplugged the camera from her laptop, Helen had walked in and, noticing the camera pointed at her, had shot Sam her brightest smile.

'I took this one,' Sam informed, pointing at the picture in question, 'Jack took the other two.'

'They're really cute. And I think it's really cute that you have them right next to your bed.' Sam smiled.

'I've had them the frame there for way over a year. Maybe even more than two.'

'Really? How come I'd never noticed it?'

'Well, usually when you come in my bedroom you're too busy snoring and drooling on me,' Sam teased, gently poking Cassie's side a couple of times, feeling the young woman squirming against her side.

'I do not snore!' She indignantly argued.

'Yeah, you do. It's really, really low and you can barely hear it. It's very cute.'

'Shut up.' Sam laughed and rolled away from Cassie's fingers, jumping off the bed before they could tickle her again. Cassie glared and Sam only laughed again.

'Wanna go see if Helen really did make us breakfast?'

Cassie glared at her some more before nodding and getting up. Sam grabbed some clothes to slip on over the panties and tank top before following Cassie out of the room and down the hallway. She grinned when Cassie's suspicion was confirmed; Helen was cooking them breakfast. She walked around the kitchen counter and stood behind Helen, hands settling on her hips as she leaned in to kiss the back of Helen's neck.

'Morning,' she breathed against the soft skin.

'Good morning, love,' Helen responded, turning around to press one long, soft kiss to Sam's lips.

They pulled apart and Helen waved at Cassie who had curled up on one of the arm chairs and was watching TV. Sam smiled at the picture they made as she hopped back onto the counter she had been forced to abandon the day before. She watched Helen work, wondering what exactly had relaxed her so much since she had arrived a couple of days earlier. She had done a lot of cooking and while Sam had known that it was an activity Helen enjoyed, she hadn't known that she liked it to that extend – and was so talented at it – or that it could relax her that much. Sam hoped it had to do with their spending their first Christmas together.

Sam shrugged to herself, taking in the way Helen's curls brushed her shoulders as she moved, the way she could detect the most imperceptible movement in her hips as if the brunette were swaying to some music only she heard. Sam grinned and her eyes strayed downwards. She bit her lower lip, glad that she could hear the television in the background to remind them that they weren't alone. Her eyes moved back up and once she had reached Helen's head, she turned around to shoot Cassie one look. She grinned when she saw the girl curled up in the arm chair, the warm afghan wrapped around her body. She was drowsily staring at the television though Sam doubted she was taking anything in.

Sam sighed happily, shooting Helen a lazy smile when she turned around and looked at her questioningly. This was what a family was all about? Waking up on Christmas morning to the woman she loved making breakfast for her and the girl she thought of as her daughter. Spending a quiet morning together without worrying about anything.

She turned back around when she felt fingers gently brushing her knee. She was surprised to find Helen so close but she smiled at her, parting her legs when Helen moved so she could stand between them. Sam lifted her hands to brush back Helen's hair, letting her fingers gently slip through the dark locks before finally settling on Helen's shoulders while Helen's hands gently rubbed her thighs through the fabric of her sweat pants.

'What are you thinking about?' Helen asked quietly, shooting a brief look over Sam's shoulder as if to check they didn't have an audience.

'Just appreciating what I have,' Sam answered cryptically. Helen smiled.

'That's always good. What _do_ you have?' Sam grinned, leaned forward and pecked Helen's lips once.

'You,' she breathed, 'and Cassie. This is really nice.'

Helen smiled and Sam leaned down to kiss her again, deepening the kiss. Both of her hands cupped the back of the brunette head as one of Helen's hands froze on her thigh while the other one moved up to flatten on the small of her back. Apparently they both decided they did not care if Cassie saw them. Sam's tongue swiped over Helen's lower lip, retreating before attacking again, slipping into Helen's mouth to meet her own tongue. One of them sighed. Sam was pretty sure it was her but she wasn't completely certain. Their tongues battled fiercely for a few more long moments and Sam was hard put to hold back a moan. Finally, they pulled away and Sam dropped her head to Helen's shoulder, feeling one hand settle on the back of her neck.

'Really, really nice,' Sam sighed into Helen's neck. Helen stepped away, her hands returning to Sam's thighs. She leaned in to press one long and sweet kiss to Sam's lips.

'Really, really nice, indeed,' she agreed before stepping away completely, patting Sam's thigh a couple of times. 'Breakfast's ready. Set the table for me?' Sam nodded and hopped off the counter, stealing one last kiss before leaving the kitchen area. She walked by Cassie, patting her foot.

'Up you get, babe. Breakfast's ready.'

Cassie let out a grumble but pulled herself out of the chair and walked over to the cupboard to get some plates and glasses. Sam looked over her shoulder at Helen and they shared a smile. Yep. Family.


	8. Chapter 8

Hey there. :)

Let me start by wishing you all a very happy new year. I hope it's filled with love, happiness and health for you.

I'm sorry it took me a while to post this chapter. I didn't retweak it so I'm still not sure how I feel about it. Oh, and, you may have noticed/will notice, that these chapters are no longer canon with the TV show. Much less with the season 4 finale... Either way, you can consider that everything up to _Carentan_ happened in this world too but what happens afterward doesn't. It was too big a can of worms for me to deal with in a fic that is not really dedicated to that.

Enjoy. :)

**Chapter 8**

Sam gasped and sat up straight in the bed, her hand moving to flatten on her chest as she tried to catch her breath and stop the pain constricting her heart. When she couldn't manage the pain, she slipped out from under the covers and walked to the bathroom. She pushed the door open and reached behind it for one of the robes, not caring whose she grabbed. It turned out to be one of Helen's and she slipped it on as she made her way to the door, her eyes trailing over the sleeping form she could discern in the bed, despite the darkness.

She stepped out of the bedroom and made her way through the corridors, letting her feet take her wherever they wished. She wasn't completely surprised to find herself on the North Tower. She stood there, her arms wrapped around herself. It was far too cold to be standing outside barefoot in nothing but a nightgown and a thin sating robe but the wind and chill felt good and helped her finally breathe again. She closed her eyes and tipped her head back.

She did not know how long she stood there, lost in her thoughts, trying to escape the images that had been plaguing her sleep for the past few nights. She was brought back to reality by a gentle voice calling her name behind her.

'Samantha?' Helen breathed. Sam turned around and looked at her, watching as she stepped closer. She was dressed similarly but she had, at least, thought about putting on some shoes so her feet weren't in direct contact with the cold stone of the building. 'Darling, what are you doing out here?' She asked, lifting a hand to brush back a few strands of blonde hair. 'Are you alright?' Sam opened her mouth and closed it again, repeating the motion a few times.

'I-I- yes. No,' she finally admitted.

'What's wrong?'

Sam couldn't hold back a sob and she bit her lower lip hard as it started quivering and trembling violently. She felt a shiver run through her arms and though she tightened her hold on herself, she wasn't sure it would do anything. After all, she was certain that the shiver had nothing to do with the cold. She shook her head as Helen's concerned eyes traced over her features.

'I-I can't.'

'What? Why not? Talk to me, love. You're worrying me.'

Sam shook her head again though she leaned into the hand that Helen brushed over her cheek. It settled on the back of her neck, under her hair, rubbing at the tense muscles. Another shiver ran down her spine but Sam knew it was due to the warmth of Helen's skin as it rested on her cold neck. That, more than anything, told her she had been standing out in the cold much longer than she had intended and expected.

'I can't. I have no right to feel this way. It's so selfish of me.' She felt Helen drop a kiss to her temple.

'I don't care. Please, talk to me, Samantha. You know you can tell me anything. Absolutely anything.' And with those comforting words, all but murmured into her ear, the warm breath hitting her skin, Sam felt her resolve crumble. She rested her head against Helen's.

'I don't know how to say it,' she realised, speaking the words aloud. 'I'm scared,' she finally decided, turning around until she was facing Helen. 'I don't want to die.' Helen frowned and the concern in her eyes turned into real worry. 'Do you remember when you asked me if I would extend my lifespan if given the chance?' Helen nodded. 'I want to find something. I want to find something so bad because I love you so much and I don't want to leave you. Ever. I don't want you to see me grow old and die. I don't want to put you through the pain of losing someone else you love.'

Helen closed her eyes and sighed, leaning forward until her forehead was resting against Sam's. They stayed like that for a long time, their arms loosely wrapped around one another, their eyes closed, their breath mingling in the chilly night air. Sam felt herself calm down a bit in her lover's arms.

'Then we'll find something, darling. We'll find something to make sure I have you with me for many, many more years.'

'How do you know we will?'

'I'll make sure we do. Because I don't want you to feel this way. Because I want you by my side for the rest of my life. Because I love you and if you're certain about this, then I will work even harder so I don't lose you, Samantha.' Sam nodded, smiling slightly and leaning in to kiss Helen's lips. 'That's not all that's on your mind, though, is it?' Sam shook her head and sighed. 'Tell me?'

'I- you know I never really imagined myself having kids, right? I like kids but I never wanted any of my own.' Helen frowned but nodded. 'I still don't but lately, I've been thinking about it a lot. Which is weird because I'm ridiculously happy with you and I wouldn't want things to be any other way. But I can't shake the though. I wonder what my children would look like and I keep having dreams about kids. I see them running around and laughing in the corridors. Usually these dreams are mixed up with some of my usual nightmares. But there are always kids in my dreams lately. I don't want to feel like that but it scares the Hell out of me. It's completely irrational but it's so gripping that I feel as if someone were trying to rip my heart right out of my chest. And I can't breathe and start panicking.'

As if to illustrate her words, she could feel her hands starting to shake and some of the earlier feeling of suffocation and panic crept back over her. Helen seemed to notice that and immediately pulled her into her arms. Sam went willingly and held on as tight as she could, pressing her face against the side of Helen's neck. She breathed in deeply. Helen's familiar scent washed over her, calming her frayed nerves a bit and relaxing her. One of Helen's hands cupped the back of her head and brushed through Sam's hair.

'I wish there was something I could do, darling, but I can't see what.' Sam nodded imperceptively, breathing Helen's scent in again. 'I don't have the necessary equipment to give you a child.' Sam couldn't help but chuckle at that, feeling tears fill up her eyes and spill over, despite her best efforts. 'Would it help if you saw Cassandra?' Sam shrugged.

'I keep thinking about her. She could have been my little girl. But I was too focused on work. I love her but I don't really think seeing her would ease my pain. It's horrible but my heart is telling me to have my very own child.' Helen shook her head.

'You didn't raise her so you love her like a mother but there always is a gap between you. I understand.'

Sam tightened her arms around Helen some more, feeling like being held by the other woman was her only lifeline and that she would die if she let go. At the very least, she would start panicking again. She breathed slowly against Helen's soft skin, feeling her press a kiss to the top of her head. The idea wasn't completely farfetched. She knew that no one would be able to calm her and ease her fears the way Helen could and, given how overwhelming these fears had become, she desperately needed the reassurance, the comfort that her lover could offer her and that no one could replace. Having finally spoken the words out loud, having admitted to Helen what had been bothering her and just how scared she was, she knew that she wouldn't be able to go on without her. She needed her to be her rock and to keep her steady.

'Have you ever felt like this?' Sam finally asked after a few long moments of silence. She knew the answer before Helen even spoke up by the way her arms tightened around Sam's body.

'Yes. Quite often, actually. But I always had the choice of bringing Ashley – the embryo,' she corrected, 'to term.' Sam kissed Helen's neck comfortingly. 'Let's make this simple,' Helen suggested.

She surprised Sam when she pulled away slightly, her hands coming up to cup Sam's face, thumbs gently brushing her cheeks, wiping away the tears that had slipped out. Sam looked into her lover's blue eyes. She almost forgot Helen's words, mesmerised by the love she could see in the beautiful pools of blue.

'Do you want to adopt a child, love?' Helen asked, startling Sam by actually speaking. It took Sam a few moments for her to understand the actual words.

'What? I-no. I'm too old to have a child.' Helen quirked an eyebrow. 'You know what I mean. If we adopt a five year old right this moment, I'll be sixty before the kid is fifteen. I can't do that. It's unfair to a child.' She paused, looking down briefly. 'And, besides,' she added, looking up at Helen again, 'this isn't only about me. We're a couple. We're in this together.' Helen smiled.

'Love, I'll gladly have a child with you if it makes you happy. It should light this place up a bit and we do need some of that.'

'Helen,' Sam argued, 'you can't have a child just because my biological clock is ticking very loudly.'

'I can, love. I don't desire a child as much as you do but I can't bear to see you so distraught. I would love to see a small child running about these corridors. Even more so if it were _our_ child.' Sam leaned in and kissed Helen's lips, briefly resting her forehead against Helen's cheek.

'Thank you, Helen. But I can't ask you that. You weren't even considering it before I mentioned it. And there is still the fact that I'm too old for a kid.'

Helen's hands moved from her cheeks to the back of Sam's neck and she pulled her back into her body. One of her hands returned to the back of Sam's head as the other one rubbed her back. Sam sighed, revealing in Helen's soft body against hers. She rested her head on Helen's shoulder, her arms sliding back around her waist and holding her close. No matter how good it felt to get the words, the fears and the feelings off her chest, she could not shake off the guilt at having brought up the subject.

She knew children were always a touchy subject and the main reason she had kept quiet for so long was that she had not wanted to burden Helen. But now that she had spoken up, she needed to get this conversation over before she could make sure that Helen truly was fine with her sudden desire to have a child and her mentioning it so out of the blue. She would make sure to address the issue very soon.

Not right away though. Having finally relaxed and calmed down, the fact that it was about three in the morning was taking its toll. The time when she could stay up for all hours of the night and not sleep a wink was long gone and she was feeling tired and sleepy. Or maybe it was the fact that she had gotten used to sleeping more often and more regularly, in Helen's bed with her lover by her side. Either way, she was going to make sure they wrapped up this conversation and returned to bed. She could feel the Goosebumps on her skin and she was starting to shiver due to the cold rather than her emotions.

She curled herself further into Helen's body, feeling the brunette tightening her arms around her, clearly trying to warm her up. But they seemed to implicitly agree that they should continue and finish the conversation before they went back to their bedroom. Sam would probably wait until morning to make sure Helen was fine. All she wanted, at the moment, was to go back to their bed, curl up against Helen's warm body and fall into a hopefully dreamless sleep.

Helen's fingers continued brushing through her hair comfortingly and Sam wondered if she wouldn't be falling asleep right where she was. But it was a bit too cold for that and she pressed her nose against Helen's neck, trying to steal some of her heat. She felt another surge of guilt course through her as she felt that Helen's skin wasn't much warmer than her own. If it weren't for her and her powerful and gripping dream, her inability to get over it, calm down and go back to sleep, Helen would still be fast asleep, under the covers of their warm and comfortable bed.

'Here's a suggestion, darling,' Helen started, her lips brushing Sam's ear as they moved. Sam pushed her guilt away and listened to what Helen had to offer. 'If you are truly certain it is what you want, we'll find a way to extend your lifespan. Once that is done, we'll think about having a child. Together.' Sam pulled back to stare at Helen, her eyes wide, her mouth gaping.

'You're serious, aren't you?'

'Absolutely,' Helen confirmed, looking straight into Sam's eyes.

'I-I don't know what to say,' Sam stuttered, her arms moving to circle Helen's shoulders and pull her into a loving hug. 'We don't have to do this. I just-I couldn't keep it from you any longer. I just needed to get it out and I thought it would get better once it was out.'

'It wouldn't, love. You're ready to be a mother. And I'll be there with you.'

'Okay,' she breathed against Helen's neck. 'But, for now, I'm ready to go back to bed,' she added, changing her mind and deciding that she was far too tired to have such an important conversation.

The hands on her back squeezed gently, pulling her in just a breath more. Not that they had much room to get any closer to start with. They both stepped back and Helen's hands trailed down Sam's arms until their fingers were lightly tangled. They share a smile which was interrupted by a shudder running through Sam's body. The look of concern returned to Helen's eyes and she squeezed Sam's hands.

'Probably a good idea,' she agreed, pressing one kiss to the corner of Sam's lips before pulling away, keeping one of Sam's hands in hers as she moved back towards the door and down the narrow and rather steep stairs.

The next few days, they were both busy. Especially Helen who had to deal with a flu epidemic hitting the abnormals at the Sanctuary and adapting as it progressed through the different species. Sam took it upon herself to deal with as much of Helen's paperwork as possible but she still had her own to do and she was send out, with Will, to pick up a couple more sick abnormals across town. A week later, Helen dropped down next to her on the bed. They were both exhausted and Sam simply turned her head to look at her. She lifted a hand and tenderly brushed back Helen's bangs. Her blue eyes were closed and Sam knew that she would fall asleep right where she was if they did not take a few seconds to slip under the covers. Sam kissed Helen's forehead.

'Come on,' she breathed against the soft skin before pulling away. 'Don't want you to get cold during the night.' Helen let out a nondescript sound and dragged herself back up, slipping under the covers and curling up against Sam.

'If things quiet down, would you like me to run some tests?' Helen slurred. Sam frowned.

'What for?'

'To check whether you can bear children.'

'Oh. Do you think that's necessary?'

'Not if you don't want it. But I always thought that knowing for sure eased the mind, no matter how painful the result.'

'You're probably right. I'd like that.'

She felt an almost imperceptible nod against her chest and then just Helen's soft breath hitting the skin of her chest. She simply held Helen and followed her into sleep, knowing that they were both far too tired to talk any more. And it would be a conversation best had when they were both awake and coherent.

Just a couple of days later, they were both in the infirmary. Sam was sitting on the exam table, her legs swinging back and forth as a way to calm herself. She was wringing her fingers nervously, her eyes set on the back of Helen's head. The brunette had pulled her hair back into an elegant ponytail and, each time she moved, Sam watched it swing lightly, trying to feel comforted by it. She breathed in deeply. It was ridiculous to be so worried. It wasn't like she expected or even hoped to get pregnant. She hadn't slept with a man in years and she had no intention of doing so anytime soon. Not because she no longer found them attractive. She did. She just didn't care about sleeping with them. Or anyone but Helen, for that matter.

'I can't have kids, can I?' Sam asked as Helen turned around to face her. She stopped swinging her legs when Helen came to stand in front of her.

'I find that an incredibly harsh way to put it,' Helen pondered, hugging Sam's chart to her chest. She set it down on the exam table and rested her hands on Sam's knees, squeezing them gently, having no doubt seen and felt Sam's concerns. 'You can have children, Samantha. But the chances of you getting pregnant are, indeed, extremely low.' Sam nodded, looking down at her hands. She felt like a hole had just been pierced through her heart. Her lowered lip quivered.

'I expected that. Jolinar and having been hurt more times than I care to count. And I'm not exactly young anymore. It shouldn't matter so much.' Helen squeezed her knees again.

'Yes, it should, love.' Sam looked up, frowning. 'Even for someone who never wants to get pregnant, the ability to bear children is an integral part of being a woman. It doesn't define us – far from it – but it _is _what differentiates us from men. You've just had the confirmation that you no longer have that ability. It's perfectly understandable for you to be upset.'

Sam reached for Helen, pulling her flush against her. She parted her legs so Helen could stand between them and held her close. She pressed her face into Helen's neck as her fingers curled into the fabric of her lab coat. She held on tightly, sighing as Helen's hands rubbed her back in long, slow moves.

'What now?' She breathed against the doctor's neck after a little while. Helen pulled back slowly, making sure that Sam actually let her go.

'I believe we agreed to a course of action.'

'We find something to extend my lifespan?' Sam asked, sceptically. Helen nodded. 'You really think we'll find something before I'm old and wrinkled?' Helen nodded again.

'And, if what we find is anything like the source, it will take a few years off your appearance right away.' Sam's hands came to rest on top of Helen's who slowly turned them around so they could link their fingers.

'I don't mean to be such a bother.'

'What are you talking about, love? You're not a bother. I understand your fears and concerns. They're perfectly justified.'

'But I'm not the only one involved here. I know how much not aging weighs you down.'

'And I've told you I would love having you by my side, as long as you know the curses – which I know you do.'

'That's not all though. What about having a child? My talking about that can't only be bringing up happy memories.'

Helen's eyes veiled over and Sam squeezed her hands, knowing she had hit the spot. She felt slightly guilty about that but she knew that they couldn't keep talking about children without talking about Ashley and about Helen's feelings on the matter. As far as she was concerned, one hint that Helen was not comfortable with their having, or even talking about, children and she was calling everything off. There would be no child in their home, arms and hearts if Helen was not completely at ease with the idea.

'It isn't,' Helen confirmed. 'I'm not saying I'm ready to have another child right now. I'm not. But, eventually, I will be. And, with your help, it might be sooner than I expected.' Sam nodded again and leaned in to kiss Helen's lips once.

'Thank you.'

'For what?'

'Everything. Taking all of this so much better than I am and keeping me grounded, I guess.' Helen smiled and untangled one of their hands, lifting it to cup Sam's cheek.

'I'm glad to be of help. As you said, we're in this together, darling.' Sam kissed the inside of Helen's wrist before leaning back in to steal another, longer and slower, kiss.

'I should probably let you get back to work,' Sam offered, leaning into the hand that was still cupping her cheek warmly. 'I have paperwork. And I promised Henry I would help him build his newest toy.'

Helen chuckled and Sam knew that it had much to do with Henry's crush on Sam. It was sweet and, as the object of his crush, she was always happy to be on the receiving end of the adorable smile he flashed her whenever she was in the room. It wasn't all that unlike the one Helen received which confirmed that he just admired her and had a lot of affection for her. It was exactly how he felt for Helen, the only difference being that the brunette was his mother. He would never feel attracted to her the way he felt to a smart and beautiful woman like Sam. Even she knew that she was exactly the kind of woman with whom Henry would dream of being, no matter how much he loved Erica and no matter how adorable they were together.

Sam rested her forehead against Helen's, pressing a playful kiss to her nose before she slid off the exam table, her body sliding along Helen's.

'I'll see you later.' Helen nodded.

'Samantha?' She called before Sam had gone far. 'Together, remember? Never hesitate to tell me if something is bothering you.'

'I won't. Oh and if there's an abnormal to catch, I'm your girl. Some adrenaline would go a long way to making me feel better.' Helen laughed and shook her head.

'I'll try and find something for you, darling.'

Sam grinned and left the room. She felt better than she had expected to feel after getting this news. And she felt lighter than she had when she had been sitting, dreading what Helen's exams would reveal. Certainly, the news was far from good and she knew she would still spend a lot of time thinking about it and struggling to come to terms with it. But she also knew she had everything she needed to get over the pain. And maybe she'd get her bike and go out for a nice, long ride through the mountains. That never failed to make her feel better.

In the end, she did not get to go abnormal hunting but Helen came up with something equally good, if not more.

'I have just the thing for you, darling,' Helen stated, coming to a stop in front of Sam's desk. Sam looked up at her, startled of see her wearing a tight workout outfit with her hair pulled back in a tight ponytail. Sam's eyes trailed over Helen's figure, moving back down to her desk when something soft was dropped on it. Her eyes landed on a small pile of clothes that she recognised as her own workout clothes. She looked back up at Helen.

'A workout?'

'Sparring session,' Helen corrected. 'With me. It's been far too long.' Sam smiled. She saved the document she was typing and stood up, grabbing the clothes. She circled her desk until she was standing right in front of a grinning Helen.

'Let's go.'

It _had _been a while since they had last sparred together. They had found that, as good a fighter as Helen was, Sam beat her most of the time anyway. And what had started out as common workout that was meant to train them both had quickly turned into Sam teaching Helen new moves and techniques. It had continued until they had gotten too busy and they hadn't taken the habit up again since.

They were stretched, warmed up and getting into it quickly. Sam was surprised to notice that she needed just that much more concentration to be on top of her game again. It had been just long enough since she had done this and she hadn't been put in situations that truly required her hand to hand combat skills recently so she had lost a little bit. Helen got a few hits in before Sam managed to get back her bearings. Just like riding a bike. She was a bit wobbly at first but it came back quickly and it was if she had never stopped. Helen was flat on her back in just a few seconds. They were both breathing hard and they chuckled.

'Good heavens, I had forgotten you were this good,' Helen gasped, laughing slightly. Sam laughed as well and grabbed her hand to pull her back to her feet, playfully kissing her nose once.

'We've both lost a bit though,' Sam commented.

'Are you going to resume training me, then?'

'I you want, sure.'

'I do,' Helen answered with a seductive grin. Sam smiled back.

'Well then, what are you waiting for? Get ready.'

She stepped away from the brunette and got ready to play teacher. She felt the stress leave her body in waves and remembered why she had loved these times with Helen so much. There was very little talking . Mostly, they just blew off some steam and let the stress and anger out. The fact that it was with someone she trusted so much, someone who knew everything about her, someone to whom she told everything – well, almost everything – made it much easier to let down the barriers and to not hold back at all.

And Sam knew that Helen felt the same way. Of course, it was a time of teaching, during which she learnt and she had to focus a bit. But being taught by someone who knew how to handle her and how to give her just what she needed made it much easier. There were no expectations, no hopes to be broken. And she had once told Sam that she was always the teacher and that their workout sessions turned the tables; she was no longer the teacher and it felt incredible to let go and let herself be taught.

Helen let out a huff of air as she landed flat on her back again. Sam smiled at her and pulled her back to her feet.

'You need to slow down,' she commented as Helen was getting ready for another try. The brunette frowned.

'In the field speed is what matters,' Helen pointed out.

'I know,' she agreed with a crooked smile. Helen rolled her eyes at her and Sam chuckled. 'But, right now, we're not in the field. And I'm teaching you how to improve your hand to hand combat skills. Your moves are great. But, sometimes, they are a little sloppy and don't hit as hard as they could.'

'You do know I'm holding back a bit to not hurt you, don't you?' Sam cocked her head to the side and smiled.

'Of course I do. I am too.'

'And the thought of you being even better at hand to hand combat than you let me see is rather frightening.' Sam laughed as Helen frowned. Her face relaxed into a dreamy smile. 'And hot,' she breathed, leaning forward to capture Sam's lips in a slow and warm kiss. Sam moaned against her lover's lips, pulling away with a mock reprimanding look.

'My point is,' Sam started again, playfully slapping Helen's butt once before stepping away from her, 'if you slow down and work on being more grounded, more precise, you'll get more hits in. And they'll be stronger and more powerful. And once you are grounded and completely stable, you can work on increasing the speed. There is no point in being fast as light if it's only going to wear you out and not get your opponent down.' Helen nodded at that.

'Alright. Back to basics?'

'Something like that,' Sam agreed, chuckling slightly.

A while later, Sam was standing behind Helen, hands on her shoulders. Her hands slowly moved down Helen's back, all the way to her hips. She held her hips firmly as she made sure that Helen was standing firmly on her feet, as stable and grounded as possible. When she was satisfied, she let her hands brush over Helen's sides again and was about to step away from her when Helen tipped her head back. Sam felt a shiver run through her body as the soft dark hair brushed her cheek.

'You're not playing fair, darling,' Helen whispered. Sam smiled. Her hands returned to Helen's hips for a moment before trailing over her body until her arms were wrapped around her lover from behind.

'Is that so?' She teasingly breathed back into her ear.

Sam leaned in and dropped a slightly sloppy kiss on Helen's cheek, slowly trailing downwards and over the soft skin of her neck. Helen's head rolled to the side to grant her better and easier access. Sam smiled against her neck and nuzzled the crook of her neck. One of her hands slipped under the front of Helen's shirt and they both sighed at once. Sam smiled again. That was yet another reason she had always loved working out with Helen, she remembered fondly. The chances of their workout sessions ending up with the two of them hot and sweaty for a whole other reason were rather high and she was never one to argue against that.

'We should move this to our bedroom,' Helen suggested.

One of her hands moved to cover the hand that was exploring under her shirt while the other one settled on Sam's thigh. Sam playfully bit Helen's shoulder, pressing a soft kiss to the skin before she pulled away. She didn't say anything. She simply slipped a hand into Helen's and seductively smiled at her as she pulled her towards the door.

They were in the elevator when she finally decided she couldn't wait any longer. Sam whirled around at once and pushed Helen backwards until her back was flat against one of the sides. She revelled in the surprise but clear arousal she could see on Helen's face just before pressing their lips together. Her tongue slipped past Helen's parted lips and she swallowed her lover's moan. She wrapped her arms around Helen, one of her hands slipping back under the soft workout shirt as she explored Helen's mouth, her tongue slipping over the familiar crooks and valleys.

She didn't realise the machine had stopped and the doors had opened until Helen's hands settled on her butt, giving it one light squeeze before reluctantly pushing her away. Sam immediately recognised the elevator and grinned sheepishly. But the sight of Helen's hooded eyes and slightly flushed face was far too enticing and she leaned back in for a gentle kiss before stepping away. One of her hands slipped back into Helen's to lead her towards their bedroom.

She all but slammed the door closed behind them and pushed Helen against it, not giving her an instant to think. Helen smiled seductively, turning her head to playfully dodge Sam's kisses. Sam pulled back and glared at the laughing brunette woman. Three vain tries later, Sam decided she'd had enough of the bloody tease. In one quick move, she had both of Helen's wrists pinned to the door, over her head. She made sure to not hold them tightly enough to bruise her lover but tight enough that she wouldn't be going anywhere. Her other hand moved to Helen's jaw to hold her in place as she leaned down to kiss her, her tongue instantly slipping through Helen's parted lips.

She swallowed another one of Helen's moans, her fingers releasing Helen's wrists when she was certain that the Briton wouldn't resume teasing her. And, indeed, her arms slipped around Sam's body, holding her close. One of her hands settled on Sam's butt, pulling her in even closer as the other one moved up to settle firmly between her shoulder blades. Sam sighed as she felt Helen's thumb brushing the skin over the edge of her workout top.

Her hands moved away from Helen's jaw, her fingers lightly brushing over Helen's skin, continuing downwards to cup Helen's breast. Her thumb brushed over Helen's taught nipple. The brunette responded by pulling her just a bit closer, her hand briefly moving back up so it could slip under Sam's pants and underwear. Sam sighed as Helen's hand was in direct contact with her heated skin.

Sam quickly decided that Helen's workout top was in her way. She reluctantly pulled away, repeatedly pecking Helen's lips as she started tugging at the edge of the tight and sweaty shirt. When she had no other choice, she forced herself and Helen's hands away to pull off the top and throw it over her shoulder. And she grinned. She loved work out tops with bras included. Much less fabric to get out of the way when undressing.

Her lips were back on Helen's before they even heard the muffled sound her shirt made when it landed in some unidentified spot. One of her hands mirrored Helen's and settled on Helen's butt, under the enticingly tight yoga pants. The other one returned to Helen's bare breast, kneading it gently as they both worked on getting as close to one another as possible, their hands fumbling as they rushed to touch each other.

Sam didn't realise Helen's hand had moved from the top of her back all the way to the inside of her pants until she felt the familiar fingers brush her through her underwear. She gasped and pulled away from Helen's lips.

'Oh, God,' she gasped against Helen's cheek as she tried to catch her breath.

She rocked her hips against Helen's fingers and pouted when Helen's hands moved away again. But she smiled when she felt them pulling at her top until she could throw it in the room to join hers. She expected Helen to resume kissing her but she pushed Sam away just enough to lean down to swipe her tongue over Sam's right nipple. Sam gasped, her hand settling on the back of Helen's head to hold her in place. Although she was pretty sure that wasn't necessary. Helen did not seem to plan on going anywhere. Helen nibbled, licked and kissed until Sam was ready to beg her to give her other breast the same loving attention. Just as she was about to call out Helen's name, the brunette switched breasts and focused her attention on the left one.

'Can you read my mind or something?' Sam asked, feeling Helen's smile against her sensitive skin.

'I just know you very well, darling.'

'Well enough to be a little scary, if I'm being honest.'

'That's one way of putting it,' Helen whispered.

Her tongue swiped at Sam's nipple once before continuing to nibble gently. Sam sighed, her fingers curling in Helen's soft hair. The neat and tight ponytail had long since become messy and loose. She scratched lightly at Helen's scalp and grinned brightly when she felt Helen's moan on her breast, sending shards of pleasure through her body.

'What's another one?' She gasped. Clearly it took Helen a moment to remember what they had been talking about.

'Sexy?' She finally offered. 'Little bit?' Sam smiled and let her hand trail down Helen's back.

'A lot,' she corrected.

She pulled away from Helen for just a second so she could claim her lips in a fiery kiss as their hands continued to explore. She was a little bit surprised Helen hadn't yet decided to turn them around and push Sam against the wall – door. That thought sent a shiver through her. Years into their relationship and they still could hardly make it to their room, let alone their bed when in the throes of passion.

But Helen took over control all the same though she was still the one with her back pressed to the door. Their kisses and touches were messy and sloppy but they were both down to no clothes very quickly. Their hands trailed over heated skin and they were both gasping and sighing. Finally, just as Sam's fingers were teasingly brushing between Helen's legs, Helen swirled them around. Sam gasped when her bare back hit the wooden door, letting out a low cry when Helen's fingers slipped inside her.

Though she wanted nothing more than to follow Helen's lead, she decided she wanted the woman naked first. Her hands tugged at the waistband of Helen's pants until she shimmied out of them. Sam managed to pull her underwear down at the same time. The soft fabric dropped to the floor and Helen stepped out of it. She took a moment to rid Sam of her own pants and underwear before pressing back up against her.

Their hands immediately sought the soft and heated skin again. Their kisses grew more erratic and their breaths shallower and quicker. Before long they were writhing against one another. Sam's head was thrown back against the door as Helen left open-mouthed kisses on her chest. Her tongue darted out to lick Sam's skin and she playfully bit on it. Sam let out soft cries as Helen played her like a pianist would play his instrument. But she was rewarded for her own work when Helen moaned loudly and bit down on her skin a bit harder.

One of her hands was caressing Helen's back. It froze on the small of Helen's back and she almost braced herself as the brunette hit a particularly sensitive spot inside her. And she knew perfectly how to stroke it and play it to get Sam to fall apart completely. Sam curled her fingers, knowing she would probably leave scratch marks on her soft and pale skin. But if Helen mentioned it, Sam would just point to the hickey – bite mark – on the swell of her left breast.

Sam gasped, smiling victoriously when Helen responded in kind to Sam's fingers moving inside her. She slowly kissed her way back up Sam's chest and neck until her lips were brushing Sam's ear. Her tongue darted out to lick Sam's earlobe once.

'Let go, darling,' Helen whispered huskily.

It took Sam a long moment to register the words and she almost asked Helen what the Hell she was talking about. But a cry passed her lips and she realised that, yes, she was holding back. Helen's touches should have made her come so much quicker. They usually did and the Briton was doing a particularly fine job this time around.

Sam turned her head enough to prompt Helen to pull away and immediately claimed her lips in a warm and deep kiss as their fingers worked just that much harder. Sam cried out again and threw her head back as she felt the wave of pleasure overcome her. Her fingers moved erratically inside Helen but she did not let up until she heard her lover cry out and felt her sag against her body.

They were both breathing heavily. Sam's head was still resting against the door, her throat and chest exposed. Helen took advantage of that and dropped her forehead to Sam's chest. Sam's hand resumed caressing Helen's back as the other settled on the back of her head. Helen's arms slipped around her waist a bit awkwardly and Sam moved a bit to accommodate the limbs. They held each other for a long while.

Their tumbling to the ground as ungracefully as possible was completely unexpected and Sam let out a shriek just before her butt hit the ground. Helen pulled away just enough to look at her. They shared a look and burst out laughing.

'Sorry. I didn't expect that,' she giggled, leaning in to kiss Helen's lips once.

Her legs had felt a bit weak but she hadn't thought they had been nearly that close to not being able to carry her anymore. Their fall was no doubt due to that combined with the fact that she hadn't realised how heavily Helen was resting on her. She was still grinning when she deepened the kiss. Her hands moved to cup Helen's cheek and she gently pushed her down until she was lying on the floor. She straddled her hips, their lips still sealed. She pulled away just enough to meet Helen's eyes and smile at her.

'I take it you're feeling better,' Helen breathed. Sam nodded.

'Much. You're amazing.' Helen grinned.

'And round two is my reward?'

Sam waggled her eyebrows at her. She pressed a kiss to her lips before kissing her way down Helen's body. Her lips, tongue, teeth did not leave a spot on her body untouched and they spent a particular amount of time on the spots Sam knew to be overly sensitive. Oh, she was determined to show Helen just how amazing she was and what a reward really was.


	9. Chapter 9

Hello. :)

Second to last chapter! WOW! This little thing which started out as nothing but a typo has grown into this. And now it's almost over. It's sad! :(

On a side note, my medical knowledge is limited to what _House_, _Grey's Anatomy_, _Stargate/Sanctuary_ have taught me. Which is to say really not much. At all. Forgive any mistakes in this chapter. Besides, it's Sci Fi, right? :D

As always, let me know what you think. :D

Enjoy. :)

**Chapter 9**

'She's going to kill us,' Henry repeated once more. Sam rolled her eyes at him again. She shot him a small smile.

'She is not doing to kill us,' Will argued and Sam nodded.

'Will, we're bringing the doc's girlfriend back home from a mission with a hole in her arm. She's not going to be happy about that.' Sam chuckled.

'I'm fine, Henry. I've had much, much worse. This is just a little scratch. She'll patch me up and I'll be good as new. She might be a bit grumpy for the rest of the day but she's not going to kill anyone.'

'Right, because the prospect of a grumpy Helen Magnus is supposed to be reassuring,' he grumbled to himself.

Sam laughed, wincing slightly when the van jumped. Will shot her an apologetic smile and focused on the road again, slowing down a bit. Henry pulled at her hand to look at the make do bandage she was holding in place. He cringed and paled a bit and Sam offered him another smile, knowing about his dislike of blood. She put her hand back in place, hoping the bleeding would have stopped by the time they reached the Sanctuary. That would make Helen's job of patching her up much easier.

By the time Sam walked into the infirmary, Helen was already waiting for her. She was wearing her lab coat, her hair was pulled back and her hands were resting on her hips. She gave Sam a once over, looking at her sternly once she had ascertained that it wasn't a life threatening injury. Sam smiled sheepishly and tried shrugging, immediately regretting the move when it pulled at the injury in her arm. When she reached Helen, she pecked her lips once before hopping onto the exam table. Helen shook her head and turned around, standing right in front of her.

'Shot in the arm?' Helen asked as she pulled on a pair of gloves and moved Sam's hand off the injury. She removed the bandage and inspected the wound closely. 'Should I cut the sleeve or can you take the shirt off?'

'I'm pretty sure I can. Doesn't really matter though. It's ruined anyway.'

'That, it is,' Helen agreed as she helped Sam pull off the t-shirt. She unceremoniously threw the piece of clothing towards the trash can. 'Really, Samantha, getting shot?' Helen insisted. Sam chuckled slightly.

'Guess I missed it a bit. At least we got the abnormal,' she commented. 'Will and Henry are putting him in his new home. He should wake up in a few hours.'

'Good. I thought I warned you that he'd probably be armed and wouldn't come along willingly.'

'You did. And he was. But he's a lazy shot.'

'Thank God,' Helen breathed as she turned back around to bring a small tray of utensils closer. Sam recognised them all too well and groaned.

'Stitches.'

'Afraid so, love. Lie down, please. It'll be easier.' Sam complied, her eyes following Helen's move. She knew the procedure all too well and when Helen walked around the exam table and stood behind her and got to work on her numbed arm, she closed her eyes. 'Any other injuries I should know about?'

Sam frowned and cracked an eye open, doing a mental inventory of her body. Her abdomen was painful from being thrown against the corner of a building. She looked down but the skin of her abdomen hadn't started darkening yet. She knew she would probably have a nasty bruise for a little while and she knew it would start showing very soon. Otherwise, she did not notice anything off.

'No. I'm fine.'

'Are you certain?'

'Yep.'

Sam felt slow and sluggish for the rest of the day though she knew it had to do with the pain medication Helen gave her. It eased the pain in her arm as well as her stomach. But the latter came back stronger and worse during the afternoon and she shifted in her seat, trying to get comfortable enough so she could focus on her work. She rested her head back and closed the file in front of her, deciding that she wouldn't get any more work done. Dinner was soon and then she would head to bed. She would take some more pain medication which would help her sleep and, hopefully, the bruise wouldn't feel as bad in the morning.

Sam was the last one to walk into the dining room. The trip from her office to the room had taken much longer than usual and longer than expected and she wasn't sure how much longer her legs would hold her. She felt nauseous and dizzy. The room was swimming before her eyes and she barely registered the concern in Helen's eyes as she painstakingly made her way towards the table. She was halfway between the door and the table when an unexpected and violent pain shot through her stomach. She gasped and doubled over. Her vision was blurry, all the sounds were muffled and she wasn't quite sure which way was up anymore.

The last thing of which she was aware before everything went black was Helen calling out her name, her voice decidedly frightened and panicked.

'Sam!' Helen exclaimed as Sam doubled over.

She shot to her feet and ran towards the blonde, reaching her just as she violently hit the ground. Helen fell to her knees next to her and her hand moved to Sam's neck to check her pulse. It was present but rapid, her skin was clammy. Helen felt her own heart race with concern as Will, Henry, Kate and the Sasquatch reached them. She checked Sam's pupils and patted her cheeks a few times, vainly trying to bring her back around. She looked up at Kate who immediately nodded and pushed to her feet, running to get a gurney. Helen's hand came to rest on Sam's stomach and she gasped.

'What on Earth?' She breathed, pulling Sam's shirt up to professionally examine her abdomen. Her heart missed a beat. 'Oh God, her abdomen is stone hard,' she breathed. 'She's got internal bleeding,' she automatically added, looking from Sam's pale and irresponsive face to Will's concerned eyes. 'We need to operate right away.' Helen let out a shaky breath. 'She told me she was fine. If she's been bleeding internally since the mission, this could be very bad.' She squeezed her eyes shut, her shaking hand flattening on Sam's bare stomach. 'It is bad.'

There was nothing she could do until they got Sam on an operating table so she moved a hand to brush a few blonde strands off her forehead as they waited for Kate to return. Why hadn't Samantha said anything? This kind of internal bleeding was painful and her drawn, pale and clammy face as she had walked into the room just before collapsing confirmed that she had been in pain. So why hadn't she just come to see her? How had she even been able to go through the rest of the day in so much pain? Her fingers brushed through Sam's blonde hair as she worried her lower lip, trying to keep herself from berating the unconscious woman for trying to be stronger than she was. Stronger than anyone could be.

Finally, Kate came back and they moved Sam to the infirmary quickly. While the Sasquatch prepped her for surgery, Helen changed into scrubs and washed her hands thoroughly. She breathed in deeply, trying to keep her hands from shaking and to slow her heart down to a reasonable rhythm. She needed to be as clear headed as possible given the circumstances if she did not want to endanger Sam's life even more. The door opened behind her but she didn't turn around, already knowing who it would be. The voice that spoke up confirmed it.

'You're not operating on her, Magnus,' Will stated.

'Yes, I am.'

'No. You can't. She's your lover.'

'I know. Which is exactly why I am going to operate.'

'That doesn't make sense. Magnus, your hands are shaking and you look like you're going to fall any second,' he pointed out.

'Yes, Will, I know.' She turned around and looked straight at him. The familiar eyes and the concerned yet stern look she found there grounded her a bit. 'I'm scared of operating on her, of making a mistake or not finding the source of the bleeding. But there is no other surgeon here and given how hard her abdomen is, we don't have much time. We can't wait for a surgeon to arrive. I am not about to let her die without trying to save her if I can perform this surgery. I can't let her die. I'm absolutely terrified of losing her. I can't let that happen. These past few years, I have lost some of the people I was closest to in my entire life. I can't let Samantha go as well.'

He nodded, his eyes warm and comforting. She could still see the turmoil in him and she knew there were many arguments he could come up with to point out that it was a very bad idea for her to perform a surgery on Samantha. Not least of all that, for as bad as she would feel if Samantha died because she hadn't done anything, she would probably feel much, much worse if Samantha died while Helen was operating on her. But he didn't say anything. Instead, he stepped up to her, his hands grabbing the top of her arms, squeezing them reassuringly.

'Okay. You can do this,' he stated, his words sounding more like a promise, a statement to reassure her, give her strength and confidence, than an agreement. 'Go save her.'

She nodded, taking strength in the feeling of his warm hands on her arms before she stepped away from him. She closed her eyes and breathed in deeply before heading towards the operating room, determined to save the woman who had come to mean so much to her.

Several hours later, Helen stepped away from the operating table, as Sam's heartbeat finally showed up on the screen again. It was the third time her heart had stopped and it was getting harder and harder to bring her back each time. The bags of blood barely helped as Sam was still bleeding and Helen couldn't seem to stop it. Her vitals were far too low. Helen didn't fool herself. She was perfectly aware that Sam would be long dead did she not have naquadah in her blood. But it wasn't enough. Helen was barely holding back the tears that were burning the back of her eyes. She was losing. She was losing her patient. Worse, she was losing Samantha.

'Helen, you can't stop now,' her old friend whispered, his voice softer than one would ever expect from such a big and impressive being. She looked up at him and nodded, stepping back towards the operating table. She worked for what felt like hours before she sighed and shook her head.

'This isn't working,' she breathed, desperate and frustrated. 'She's lost too much blood and she's still losing far too much. She needs something that will keep her going until I can stop the bleeding.' She froze at her own words, looking up at the Sasquatch's concerned eyes. 'Get Will. Right now,' she ordered to his confusion.

He nodded and walked over to the intercom anyway, pressing the button with his elbow to transmit her demand. The psychiatrist was in the room in just a couple of minutes. He had pulled on some clean scrubs and gloves and looked at them confused.

'Magnus?'

'Undo the back of my gown,' she simply stated. She did not look up to confirm the frown she knew was well set on his face. She felt the slightest hint of pride through her fear and worry when he didn't ask anything and simply complied. 'Pull it down until you can reach the inside of my left elbow.' Again, he did as told. 'Now get a syringe and draw some of my blood.'

'What?'

'Just do it, Will,' she all but snapped.

'Magnus, what the Hell are you thinking of doing?'

'I'm going to give her some of my blood. It kept John and Nigel alive for many years. It won't stop the bleeding but it will boost her metabolism and keep her going just enough for me to finish this,' she stated with confidence.

'Magnus, she doesn't have the-'

'The Source Blood DNA, I know. Will, I know it's a long shot but she's dying and if I don't do something, she's not going to make it. I have to do something.'

'Magnus, are you sure about this?'

'No, Will, I am absolutely not sure about this. All I know is that it shouldn't hurt her and maybe it might even help her. Right now, that is all I care about. Either way, Samantha and I will deal with the consequences, should there be some.'

Finally, he agreed. He moved away from her and came back a few seconds later with a syringe. There were a few tense minutes during which the three of them didn't know if Helen's blood had done anything. Sam didn't take a turn for the worse but the machines monitoring her did not give any indication that anything had changed for the best either. Finally, her vitals picked up just a bit and Helen let out a chocked sob.

'Oh, thank God,' she breathed, needing to take a few deep breaths to calm herself.

She looked at the screen for a few long moments. Sam wasn't doing well. Far from it. But all Helen needed was for her vitals to stay stable. She tore her eyes from the screen and looked at her _protégé_ and her friend. She smiled slightly at them, knowing they would see the relief and joy in her eyes. It had worked. She did not have the slightest idea to which extent and what it would mean for Sam's future, for their future, but at least she had stabilised Samantha enough that she could operate without fear. At least, not too much. She knew that, even if nothing else came out of having given Sam her blood, at least it would ensure that she would make it through the surgery.

The surgery took several more hours and the night was slowly coming to its end when Samantha's bed was wheeled into the infirmary. She was incredibly pale and looked frail, fragile, vulnerable against the blue sheets. It wasn't a sight Helen had ever wanted to witness, but it was still much better than having Sam open on her operating table. She left for a few minutes, just long enough to change back into actual clothes and get a stack of paperwork from her office. She wasn't leaving Sam alone. Not until she woke up and Helen was certain that she would be fine. She didn't need to be told that it would be several long hours before Samantha woke up. She was the doctor, the one who usually told people that the patient wouldn't wake up from surgery for several long hours.

And besides, the last person she loved beyond words who had been unconscious in an infirmary bed had been Ashley. Helen had left her alone and Ashley had disappeared. And she had never seen her daughter again, save for those last heavenly and hellish instants before she sacrificed herself.

She was not leaving Samantha alone.

So she settled in for the long haul, grabbing a chair and pulling it up to Sam's bed. She set the stack of files on the bed, by Sam's thigh, careful not to rattle her healing body. The thought of her healing sent a shiver through Helen's body as she remembered the long hours in the operating room, desperately, almost vainly, trying to keep Samantha from dying. There was a reason surgeons weren't supposed to operate on their friends and family. Of course, there was an equally valid reason why she had not waited for her occasional colleague, Dr. Warner, to be called so he could perform the surgery. But it was not something she ever wanted to go through again.

Helen closed her eyes and let out a long sigh before looking up at Samantha face. She grabbed Sam's hand in both of hers, leaning forward to rest her forehead against their joined hands. Stressful didn't even begin to describe the night she had had and she only wanted Sam to wake up so they could curl up on their bed and she could forget about this night. Not that she ever would. But knowing her lover would respond if Helen whispered her name in Sam's ear would go a long way to calming her down.

She pulled away a bit, keeping Samantha's hand in her left one as she grabbed a file to review, rectify and sign it. Her handwriting wouldn't be as neat and perfect as it usually was but she wasn't ready to let go of Samantha's hand, to abandon the feel of her too cold skin against her warm one. She tried to warm Sam's skin up a bit but she knew it was to no avail. She had lost a lot of blood. It would take a while before her blood volume and body temperature were back to normal.

Helen didn't realise she had fallen asleep until she was woken up by a hand rubbing her back in slow, leisurely moves. She wasn't sure who it was but the touch felt good and though she knew she wasn't in her bed, she allowed herself to enjoy it as she tried to figure out where she was. Finally, she opened her eyes and turned her head just enough to look at the owner of the hand.

'Henry?' She breathed, slowly sitting back up.

She was still by Sam's bedside. She immediately looked up at her lover's face but Sam was still irresponsive. Helen rested her elbows on her knees and pressed her face into her hands, rubbing her eyes a bit. She did not care about her makeup. It was probably already a disaster. She looked back up. There were files spread over the side of Sam's bed. Right next to Sam's hip, she could see where she had just been sleeping with her head in her arms. She cleared her throat and looked up at Henry.

'Have you been here since you brought her here?' He asked, probably already knowing the answer. She nodded.

'How long ago was that? What time is it?'

'Ten. I figured you wouldn't have moved. I brought you tea.'

She smiled at him and followed his eyes to the tray at the foot of Sam's bed. She could see a tea pot and two cups and she couldn't help but think that it had been a while since anyone had been able to move around her while she was sleeping without waking her up. Well, Samantha excepted as she seemed to have made an art out of slipping out of bed unnoticed.

'Thank you,' she breathed. He offered her a small smile before walking over to the tray and pouring her a cup which he handed her.

'Do you need anything?' Helen shook her head and watched as he started to leave.

'Henry?' She called before he had even taken two steps. He turned around and looked at her questioningly. 'Will you stay with me for a little while?'

Helen was at least as surprised as he was by the words. He didn't say anything. He just grabbed the nearest chair and set it next to hers before pouring himself tea in the second cup which he had brought for some mysterious reason. The sight of Henry drinking tea never ceased to amaze and amuse her but she didn't comment on it. She simply smiled and took a sip of the hot beverage, sighing as she leaned back into the chair. They were both silent for a while. Helen simply let her eyes trace over the woman in the bed.

She closed her eyes for a few long moments. She wasn't quite sure she could process all that had happened in the past twenty-four hours. It had started as a completely normal day and then everything had started spiralling down. Everything would have been so much simpler if she had taken the time to make sure that Sam truly was alright. Certainly, Samantha didn't have the best track record when it came to admitting she was injured. But maybe she had thought it would just be a bruise, nothing worrisome. Helen knew the adrenaline and the pain medication she had been given had numbed the pain, making it seem like nothing more than a bad bruise. She should have been the one to make sure that Sam truly was fine. If she had, she wouldn't have spent the night desperately trying to save her.

She sighed as she set her empty cup of tea on the nightstand before leaning forward to grab Sam's hand again. She smiled as she noticed that it was warmer than the last time she remembered. She squeezed her fingers and brushed her thumb over Sam's knuckles, trying hard to forget the night she had just spent. But she doubted she would be able to push the images out of her mind until she saw Sam's blue eyes again. And, even then, chances were she would keep seeing her lover cry out in pain, double over and collapse. She would keep seeing her lying unconscious on the floor. She would keep seeing her as she tried to stop the bleeding that was draining the life from her.

Helen tightened her fingers around Sam's and closed her eyes tightly, her lower lip quivering. She felt a hand come to rest on her shoulder, rubbing it gently and warmly.

'Doc,' Henry breathed.

It was all it took for Helen. She bit her lip hard as she leaned in to rest her head on his shoulder, her face pressed against the fabric of his shirt. She felt his hand come to rest on the back of her head to hold her against him. He turned a bit in his seat to accommodate her. Helen pressed her nose against his neck.

'I was terrified,' she breathed against his skin. His hand brushed through her hair and his other hand settled on her back, rubbing gently.

'I know. But she's going to be okay.'

Helen nodded mostly so he knew she had heard him. She didn't say anything more. She just let herself be held, her hand dropping from where it was holding Sam's. She settled it on Henry's knee and squeezed it once before just letting it rest there. They were quiet for a long time, the only sound in the room that of the heart monitor attached to Sam. It had been a long time since she had been held by anyone but Samantha. Helen indulged in the comforting embrace, allowing the soft brush of his fingers through her hair to relax her and calm her down. She knew she would be wound up for a while longer but it felt good to let go of some of the stress, some of the fear that had weighed her down since she had seen Sam walk into the dining room.

It felt good to have him so close, to know that he was here for her when she felt at her worst. In any other situation, she would be turning to Samantha for this kind of comfort and reassurance. But the fact that Samantha wasn't there to comfort her, hold her and kiss her was, in itself, what was causing her to need the reassurance. She squeezed her eyes shut.

She knew Samantha had wormed her way into her heart and settled there for the long haul. And Helen knew there was a prickle of worry and concern whenever something wasn't perfectly right with her blonde beauty. But she hadn't expected to feel so desperate when faced with the risk of losing her altogether. Of course she had known it would hurt but she hadn't thought that her feelings, emotions and reactions would be so intense. Perhaps she should have expected it.

She had always prided herself on being a strong woman who did not need anyone to make her way through the world and to have her own life. But, no matter what people might think – not that she minded their thinking she was unstoppable one bit – she was not made of steel. She was only human. Granted, a strong, independent, wilful human but a human nonetheless. And since she had met Samantha Carter, she had found a person who allowed her to drop her barriers without asking her to abandon any of that strength or independence. She had found someone who understood her and who stood by her side and allowed her to be vulnerable. And having someone on whom to lean when she felt like breaking down had only made her stronger.

Samantha had only made her stronger than she was before.

And as Helen held on to Henry, sitting at Sam's bedside, she knew she should have expected how strongly she would feel about losing Samantha. She was her rock and she had slipped behind the wall Helen had built around her heart. Yanking her out without warning could only cause unimaginable pain and damage. It was a somewhat painful realisation but at least Samantha was still there.

Finally, when she felt she could face the day, she pulled away from Henry. She cupped the back of his head and pressed a warm kiss to his temple.

'Thank you, Henry,' she breathed.

'Always, mum.'

She smiled at that, her heart swelling with love. Her hand was resting on the back of his neck and her thumb was brushing over the hair at his nape. He had always loved when she did that. He had often curled up against her when he had trouble sleeping and all but purred when she had gently brushed her fingers through his short hair. She pressed another kiss to his temple as she remembered those nights.

'It's been a long time since you've called me that.' He smiled sheepishly, shrugging once. He slowly pushed to his feet and leaned down to kiss the top of her head.

'I've got some work to do,' he started, picking the empty cup off the nightstand. 'But, if you want, I could come back here and wait with you until she wakes up.' Helen shook her head.

'It's alright, Henry. Thank you. I'm feeling better now.'

'Good.' He squeezed her hand, smiled at her and turned around to leave the room.

Sam let out a low moan as she came around. She flexed her fingers a bit, feeling like they were the only part of her body that she could move with a minimal amount of pain. Her right hand was squeezed in return. She frowned and turned her head, her eyes opening slightly to identify the person holding her hand. She smiled slightly when her eyes met Helen's concerned ones. She let Helen pull her hand up to her lips to kiss it.

'Hi,' she tried to croak out but her throat was too raw and sore. She coughed. 'Oh, God,' she gasped as her coughing send shards of pain through her abdomen. She closed her eyes tightly and squeezed Helen's hand until the pain passed a bit. When she opened her eyes again, Helen was standing next to the bed, looking down at her with worried eyes.

'I'll get you some ice cubes,' she whispered, kissing the back of Sam's hand once more.

Sam nodded and closed her eyes again, trying to breathe deeply. She opened them again when she felt something cold against her lips, trying not to think about the fact that Helen seemed to have acquired the ability to teleport. She parted her lips and waited for the ice cube to melt in her mouth, sighing as the cold water slipped down her throat. Three ice cubes later, she felt like she could finally speak without her throat tearing apart.

'Thank you,' she breathed, her hand sneaking back into Helen's to squeeze it. Her eyes followed Helen as she leaned over to the nightstand to set the bowl of ice cubes down before she sat down next to Sam on the bed.

'How are you feeling, darling?'

'I've been better.' Helen quirked an eyebrow and Sam smiled through the pain. 'I've rarely felt worse,' she admitted.

After all, she knew Helen would accept nothing less. She probably looked the part too. That thought made Sam realise how Helen looked. There was concern, worry, fear oozing off her in waves, the small wrinkles on her face seemed deeper and more pronounced than usual, her eyes were dark and slightly veiled over, her makeup was smudged, her clothes rumpled. Sam squeezed Helen's hand again, trying to muster up a smile. But exhaustion was catching up on her though she was certain she had probably been asleep – unconscious – longer than she usually slept in a week.

'What happened?' Helen fingers tightened around hers.

'You scared the living daylights out of me,' Helen murmured, leaning forward to kiss Sam's forehead once. 'I'll tell you more once you can stay awake for more than five minutes. Get some rest.'

All Sam could do was close her eyes and comply with the order. The next time Sam woke up, Helen was no longer at her bedside. Instead, Will was writing on what she supposed was her chart. He looked better than Helen had when Sam had first woken up but he did look a bit tired and Sam felt a surge of guilt run through her. She had a feeling she was the reason Helen had worried so much. The fact that she was in the infirmary and did not have the slightest idea what day or time it was probably helped in that suspicion. And then there was the fact that her whole body hurt.

'Hey,' she whispered, prompting Will to look up and smile at her.

'Hey. You're awake. How are you feeling?'

'Well, I wouldn't be here if I were fine, would I?' Sam simply answered with a small smile. Will chuckled and nodded. 'Where's Helen?'

'Biggie threatened to carry her to bed if she didn't get some sleep.' Sam winced.

'How long had she been awake?'

'About forty hours. Which, you know, really isn't much for her, but they were forty stressful hours.'

Sam nodded slowly, feeling her heart jump a bit. She hadn't needed to be told that they were stressful hours to know it. But hearing it said out loud from someone who had witnessed it was a whole different thing. She remembered how exhausted and sick with worry Helen had looked when she had first woken up but suddenly it seemed so much worse than it had at the time.

Sam didn't want to hear what had happened from anyone but Helen. She felt that there was something more than her just being hurt and getting surgery. At least, she was pretty sure she'd had surgery. The sore and raw throat, the drowsiness when she had woken up the first time indicated that way. As did the different kind of pain in her abdomen. It was still painful and incredibly uncomfortable but it was nothing like what it had been the afternoon after she got hurt.

She desperately wanted to know what had happened and what had Helen so rattled but she knew it would be unfair to ask Will. Helen deserved the opportunity to get her fear off her chest. Maybe talking would help her and would convince her that Sam truly was fine. And Sam had the feeling that there was something that would have a pretty huge impact on their couple. Sam decided she would make sure to ask Helen next time she saw her, regardless of how tired she was. She needed to know and Helen needed to get it off her chest.

'I have the feeling I'm responsible for most of that stress,' Sam admitted, looking straight at Will. He bit his lower lip, cringing slightly before nodding.

'There were a few tense moments. And she was worried. Actually, she told me she was terrified.'

Sam's eyebrows shot up at that. Helen did not admit to weaknesses easily. And, to her, fear was a weakness. Beyond her being so secretive and such a private person, Helen was still Victorian to the core. That was how she had been raised and though she had changed quite a bit since then and adapted to the constantly changing world, she had kept some of the tastes and values she had learnt as a child. Showing emotions, feelings that might reveal too much about a person, was not welcome. So her actually telling Will she was terrified wasn't something to take lightly and it only confirmed that Sam and Helen would need to talk. Sam looked down at Will's feet which she could just barely see from her spot on the infirmary bed.

'Oh.'

'Yeah. You two will have a lot to talk about when you feel a bit better.' Sam nodded.

'Thought we might.'

'I've got to head back to work. Paperwork. You know how much I love it.' Sam chuckled. 'Do you need anything?'

'No. I'm just going to get some more sleep.'

Will nodded and squeezed her right shoulder once before turning around and heading for the door. Sam tipped her head back and sighed. She wasn't sure if she was looking forward to the conversation Helen and her needed to have. On the one hand, she wanted and needed to know exactly what had happened. And clearly she had been right about there being more than her just getting an emergency surgery. And she stood by her opinion that it would make Helen feel better to talk and be comforted. On the other hand, she was rather nervous about it and she could feel the fear growing in the pit of her stomach. She did not know what she was afraid of but she knew that the conversation would be about something big, something life-altering.

She pressed herself against the pillow, wincing when the movement pulled at her abdomen. She pulled the blankets as high as she could, wishing she were in her bed. Not only did it have Helen in it but it was so much more comfortable than any of the infirmary beds could ever hope to be. Still, she was exhausted and she did not need much comfort to fall asleep.

Sam wrinkled her nose and tried to get away from the prodding hands that had woken her up. They were kind and gentle but they had pulled her from sleep all the same. She sighed as one of the hands flattened on her abdomen. Sam recognised the touch as belonging to Helen and opened her eyes, looking up at her.

'Hi,' she breathed.

'Good morning, darling,' Helen whispered back, her hand gently caressing Sam's skin. 'Feeling any better?'

'Actually, yes, I'm feeling a lot better.'

They grinned at each other and Helen leaned down to press a warm kiss to Sam's lips as she pulled the gown back down and the covers back up. Sam spared one look to one of the corners of the room where she knew a security camera to be. Helen had been careful not to pull the gown up too high, nor the sheet and blanket too far down but it didn't change the fact that Sam didn't intend for anyone but Helen to see her in minimal clothing.

'Good. I thought you might.'

'How so?'

'That will entail a rather long explanation. I'm not quite ready to let you have solid food yet but would you like some tea before I start explaining?' Sam nodded.

'That would be lovely.'

As usual at the Sanctuary, getting tea was quick and easy. Before long, they were both quietly sipping at their tea. Sam had sat up in the bed. The movement had made her wince more than a few times but it had gone much better than she had expected. Finally, Helen was the one to start speaking.

'Why didn't you tell me you were in pain?' She asked quietly. Had she used any other tone, it would have been an accusation but her voice was gentle and bore concern rather than anger. And though Sam knew that it wasn't intended that way, it made her feel guilty that she hadn't told Helen.

'I didn't think it was anything bad. I thought I'd just get a nasty bruise.' Helen nodded slowly, reaching out to grab Sam's hand and play with her fingers.

'I thought that might be it. Will and Henry said you were thrown against a building.' Sam nodded.

'I'm sorry I didn't tell you. I know I should have.'

'You had massive internal bleeding, Samantha.' Her eyebrows shot up in surprise and shock. She tightened her fingers around Helen's, trying to offer as much silent comfort as possible. 'You barely made it. In fact, I had to make a rather rash decision while you were on the table.'

Sam frowned. Helen looked up at her and their eyes met. She had seen Helen go through many different feelings, thoughts, emotions but Sam couldn't remember ever seeing such a deep and intense look in Helen's eyes. And she was certain that it would be something she remembered. The depth and intensity in her deep blue eyes was utterly gripping and Sam found she couldn't look away. Not without feeling like the world would stop turning, like she would stop breathing if she no longer had that lifeline, those beautiful blue eyes to hang on to.

'You know we've been talking about the fact that we still haven't found anything to extend your lifespan?'

Sam frowned, utterly confused by these words. Why would Helen suddenly start talking about that when their current conversation was about something entirely different? Nonetheless, she nodded, still looking straight at Helen. Their fingers were still tangled. Helen's hand joined the first and by the way she played with Sam's fingers, one would have thought she was fidgeting and nervous. But Helen Magnus did not do nervous and fidgety. Did she? The conversation was becoming stranger and stranger as the seconds passed so maybe Sam was about to discover yet another part of her lover that she had never seen before.

'During the surgery, I was losing you. You wouldn't be here if it weren't for that decision. It was a long shot and I didn't think it would work but it did.'

'Helen, love, I have no idea what you're talking about,' Sam interrupted. Helen smiled.

'Of course. I'm sorry, darling.' She took a deep breath, smiling again when Sam squeezed her hand in encouragement. 'I gave you some of my blood.' Sam's eyebrows shot up once again.

'Your blood?' Sam repeated, not quite sure whether she was more shocked or confused.

'As I said, it was a long shot and I hardly thought it would work. But it did keep you alive while I stopped the bleeding.'

Sam smiled, trying to take in what she had just heard. She was not a sappy romantic. Never had been and never would be. Still, she couldn't help but focus, for one long moment, on the fact that her lover's blood had saved her. Her lover's blood was running through her veins and, without it, she would not be looking into said lover's eyes. She would not even be alive. The thought was mind blowing and she knew she would come back to it when she was thinking a bit clearer. At the moment, she was still a bit too groggy to truly understand it and she had to take in the whole picture.

'You hadn't thought about it before?' She asked when she realised that it seemed like such an obvious and simple solution.

Elegant in its simplicity, one would say. Sam wasn't sure it really qualified as simple but it was definitely simpler than anything they else they could have come up with. They had spent so long trying to find something that would work, that would extend Sam's lifespan. They had spent evenings and nights sitting or lying on their bed, going over abnormals with a similar ability which blood Helen might be able to use to create something that would work. They had sat in one of their offices as Sam tried to remember missions on which they had found people who lived particularly old or on which the legend of the Fountain of Youth was a centre piece of the local religion. Her years going through the Stargate and exploring new worlds had taught her that there was always a rational explanation and origin for all religious beliefs spread out through the universe.

'Giving you my blood? It briefly crossed my mind once. But you don't have the Source Blood DNA so I didn't think it would do anything.'

'And yet, it did.' Helen nodded.

'I didn't really think about the extent of the result at the time. All I knew was that I had to try something. When we brought you back here, I thought it had only served to boost your metabolism and that it wouldn't change anything,' Helen continued, trailing off before she finished what she was saying.

'But?' Sam prompted, her hand slipping out of Helen's to cup her cheek and make her look back up at her.

'But now, I'm beginning to think it may have done more than I expected.'

'Why is that?' Helen turned her head to kiss the inside of Sam's wrist.

'You're healing too quickly,' she simply explained. Sam was about to argue but Helen smiled and cut her off before she had even said started. 'Even with the Naquadah in your blood. You're healing faster than you used to. The incision from the surgery is already well on its way to a scar and I should be able to remove the stitches within five or seven days rather than the ten days I expected which was already five days earlier than for normal people.'

'Oh,' Sam breathed, her hand slipping away from Helen's cheek to rest on her abdomen. 'Is it going to leave a scar?'

'Under any other circumstance, I would have said yes. But now, I really can't tell. It might not.'

Sam smiled at that. It was another thing about which she did not care. Her years in the field had wrecked her body many times over and she already had many more scars than she could count. Helen had once spent quite some time locating and tenderly kissing every scar on her body. But this one was not one she cared to keep and it was not an event she cared to remember. Not when she knew Helen had been terrified of losing her. Not when she knew that it would probably bring back the worst memories.

'So you think that this might have worked? You giving me your blood is all we needed to do to extend my lifespan?' Helen bit her lower lip.

'I don't know, darling. I'll run some blood tests as soon as I can but, right now, most of the blood in your veins comes from transfusions so the result wouldn't be very accurate. We'll have to wait a little bit.'

Sam nodded. She tipped her head back against the pillow and breathed in deeply a few times. She went back over the whole conversation, trying to calm her racing heart. She couldn't believe it was so simple. She knew she shouldn't raise her hopes until they were certain. But it was difficult not to jump to conclusions given what Helen had just told her. She turned to look at the brunette again, smiling brightly at her.

'What if it worked?' She asked, her heart thumping against her rib cage.

They had a plan. They had made a plan before they even began looking for ways to extend her lifespan. But having a plan was so different from seeing it come true, seeing it unfold in front of her eyes. Especially when she had never really believed that they would find something and that they would make it work.

Sam pushed the thoughts away from her mind. It was far too overwhelming and she knew she was likely to panic if she did not stop thinking about it. Instead, she decided to focus on Helen's smiling face, waiting for the answer to her question. But they didn't need to say anything. Their grins just brightened on their faces as they read the answer in each other's eyes. Sam sneaked her hand back into Helen's and tugged gently. The Briton got the message and leaned over her, pressing their lips together. Sam sighed into the kiss, parting her lips when Helen's tongue darted out of her mouth.

They pulled away and Helen rested her forehead against Sam's, one of her hand cupping the side of Sam's neck as Sam's hand settled on Helen's back. She took advantage of the fact that she was wearing a shirt to slip it under the fabric and caress the warm and incredibly soft skin of Helen's lower back. They smiled at each other once more and Sam tipped her head back just enough to peck Helen's lips once. Helen pulled away and when Sam understood her intention to join her in the bed, she carefully scooted to the side, wincing at the pain in her abdomen.

Sam turned her head on the pillow to look at Helen and smile at her. Their noses were brushing lightly, their breaths mingling. Helen had taken off her shoes – probably her usual elegant and sexy stilettos – which Sam realised when she felt a foot slowly rubbing along her leg. Helen's hand came to rest on Sam's abdomen and Sam found herself wishing she could feel its warmth on her skin. But the blanket, sheet, gown and thick bandage prevented it. To make up for it, Sam pressed herself as close to Helen as possible. She pulled away just enough to look into Helen's eyes.

'Helen, are you alright?' Sam asked, her voice soft and low, her breath brushing Helen's lips as she spoke.

A frown appeared on the brunette's face, disappearing again when she understood what Sam was talking about. She closed her eyes and sighed once, leaning in to peck Sam's lips. Sam could see that Helen was going over the long and stressful hours. Her right hand found Helen's left one between their bodies and squeezed the fingers gently, offering as much comfort and support as she could. Though it was somewhat ironical; if Sam hadn't been the one injured and in need to surgery, Helen wouldn't have needed the comfort only she could offer.

'I am now,' Helen finally answered in a breath.

'I'm so sorry I scared you.' Helen kissed Sam's lips once more. 'I never meant to. I really thought it was just a nasty bruise.'

'I know, my love.'

They looked into each other's eyes for a few long moments. Sam tangled their fingers and brushed her thumb over Helen's soft skin. Helen closed her eyes as she let out a sigh, her warm breath hitting Sam's lips. She leaned in and rested her forehead against Sam's.

'I can't lose you, Samantha,' Helen whispered.

Her voice was filled with anguish and Sam felt her heart clench. She desperately wished she could fully turn to her side and pull Helen into a real hug. But the simple act of moving sideways on the bed had proved tiring and painful. So, no matter how much she wanted to hold Helen, to hug her and reassure her, she was not going to attempt that.

'I was terrified,' Helen continued. 'I knew, when I started falling for you, that I would eventually lose you but the thought hasn't really crossed my mind in a long time. Not since you stopped going in the field on a regular basis. I have never really been faced with that dreadful possibility. Not like this. And it frightened me beyond words. You are the one I turn to when I'm in pain. Whom would I have turned to if I had lost you?'

Sam's eyes traced over Helen's face. She didn't know how to answer. Her throat was tight with emotion. What had she done to deserve this woman's love? All she wanted to do was wrap her arms around the Briton and never let her go. Instead, she leaned in and pressed their lips together once more, nibbling at Helen's lower lip until she parted her lips and allowed Sam to deepen the kiss. Their tongues danced slowly and languorously. Sam sighed into the kiss when Helen's hand carefully moved from her abdomen to her side, holding her just a bit closer. After a few long and lovely moments, they pulled back.

'I'm okay, now,' Sam murmured, pecking the corner of Helen's lips. 'Don't think about it anymore.' Helen smiled.

'It might take me some time,' she admitted. 'Just promise me you won't scare me like that again.'

'Promise I'll try,' Sam whispered against Helen's lips.

Sam teased Helen's lips, refusing to deepen the kiss, simply pecking her lips and nibbling at them. She giggled. She knew very well that Helen could have gotten what she wanted in less than two seconds but she was wary of Sam's injuries and treaded carefully. Finally, she had enough. The hand that was resting on Sam's side moved up and cupped Sam's face, holding her in place as she pressed their lips together and kissed her deeply. Sam moaned. Despite the slightly painful tugging in her arm, she moved her left hand up. She curled her fingers around Helen's wrist, squeezing it gently before letting her hand slide up her arm and over her shoulder until it cupped her cheek.

Sam moaned into the kiss as it deepened, their tongues battling slowly and lazily. She was the first one to pull away. She rested her head back down on the pillow. Her nose was still brushing Helen's and she smiled at her as Helen caressed her cheek. Sam let her fingers brush through Helen's soft hair, pushing it away from her face.

'I love you so much,' Sam whispered, the words spilling out.

Helen grinned, her eyes shining and twinkling. Sam's heart skipped a beat at the sight. She hadn't seen much of Helen in the past two days, mostly due to the fact that she had been unconscious for a rather large part of it. But the two days felt like much longer, especially knowing how hellish and difficult they had been for the Briton. So seeing Helen smile so brightly with sparkling eyes felt divine. Knowing she was the one to put that long on her lover's face felt even better and she could not resist the urge to slip her hand through Helen's hair to the back of her head and pull her in for one sweet and quick kiss.

'So much,' she repeated against the soft lips.

Sam pulled away. Her fingers brushed through Helen's hair a few more times, enjoying the silky soft texture. After a few moments, she let her hand slide down the side of Helen's arm until it was resting on Helen's wrist. She gently squeezed it once before she almost playfully pulled at Helen's hand until it was resting on her stomach again. Sam slipped her hand into Helen's so she could tangle their fingers.

She closed her eyes and burrowed herself into the rather uncomfortable pillow, pressing herself as close as she possibly could into Helen's body. She wasn't ready to let her go just yet. But she got the feeling that Helen had not planned on leaving any time soon. For the moment, all Helen seemed to have in mind was hugging her lover and perhaps getting some sleep. And Sam was perfectly fine with that.


	10. Chapter 10

Last chapter! O_O I can't believe that's it. Thank you SO MUCH to all of you who have stuck along for the ride, especially all of you who have been absolutely lovely and have reviewed. I have said it before and I will say it again, the reviews I have received on this fic are the best ones I have ever received. So THANK YOU from the bottom of my heart.

I might be convinced into writing a sequel. I have an idea but it will have to wait until I'm done with all my exams. That is, a couple more weeks. Also, this is the first chapter that no one has read. All the other chapters had been read before I posted them by Di, the reason this fic happened, but not this one. I wanted to keep this completely secret until I posted. And here it is now. :D

Enjoy. :)

**Chapter 10**

'You're going to adopt a kid?' Kate asked, repeating their words and looking at the two of them with an undecipherable expression, mirrored on Henry, Will and Biggie's faces. Sam nodded once as Helen leaned forward.

'We've been thinking about it for a while,' Helen explained, 'but we agreed that we wouldn't unless we found a way for Samantha to not age either.'

'And now you have,' Will concluded. Helen nodded. 'Right. Explain to me again how that worked?'

'Thanks to a specific element in Samantha's blood.' Frowns appeared on the four faces and Will was about to ask a question but Helen shook her head. 'It has to do with her job with the Air Force. You know neither one of us can say anything.'

'Right.'

'I can't quite explain it but I believe the element in her blood worked in favour of the source blood and acted as if it were pure and untainted although she does not show any new gifts other than her cells regenerating themselves.' Will nodded at that.

'You're both okay with this?' He asked, suddenly slipping into his role as a psychologist.

Sam and Helen shared an amused look. But she couldn't really blame him. After all, the idea that she was going to live many, many more decades than planned was overwhelming. Even looking into the mirror was a bit surprising. As Helen had expected, she did look a bit younger. Not much. She mostly looked very well rested. The small wrinkles on her face weren't nearly as deep as they had been and some had even mysteriously disappeared. Her skin looked younger, lighter, her eyes were just a bit brighter. Her body had also changed a little bit. Her breasts had perked up – just enough for Helen and her to notice and enjoy. Her arms, hips, thighs and abdomen looked a bit thinner. She felt more energetic and fitter, leaner.

Better yet, the slight ache that had settled in her lower back quite a while ago had disappeared. It had been barely noticeable but just strong enough that it was a bit bothersome, especially when she was stressed or tired. She had been surprised the first time she had got out of bed and hadn't felt the low ache. It had taken her a while to understand what felt different. And she enjoyed it very much. Especially as Helen had been right; there was barely any evidence that she had had surgery. There was a scar but it was hardly noticeable and it was slowly fading. And they had both noticed that a few of her lighter scars had faded even more.

'With what?' She asked. 'Living much longer or adopting a child?'

'Both,' Henry piped in for him. Sam and Helen shared another look.

'The whole living longer thing is a bit overwhelming but I'm getting used to it.'

'And adopting a child?' Will pushed.

'That was my idea.' His eyebrows shot up. 'Well, kind of. It was both our ideas. Helen said it; we've been thinking about it for a while. And we agreed that we would do it if we found something to extend my lifespan.'

'Really?' Helen and Sam nodded, grinning when they noticed how synchronised their response was. 'And you're not just going through with it because you had promised yourselves to do so?' They shared one look before turning back to him and shaking their heads. Will smiled, probably amused at the sight the two of them made.

'Okay,' he breathed. 'I guess we'll be welcoming a mini Samantha Magnus. Or a mini Helen Carter.'

'Will you let me watch the little rug-rat?' Biggie asked. Sam smiled and spared Helen a look, noticing that she was grinning brightly.

'Of course,' the brunette agreed.

An equally bright grin appeared on the Sasquatch's face. It was a bit unexpected and unusual but it revealed the true depth of his affection and love for Henry and Ashley. Sam had only seen Henry and Biggie interact as she had never come to the Sanctuary before Ashley's death. But it had always been clear to her – or to anyone – that they cared for each other deeply and that Henry was like a son to Biggie. She knew he had watched Helen's two children a lot when they were younger and had cared for them as if they were his. And the two had returned his affection, thinking of him as an odd but great and very amusing uncle.

Sam felt her heart warm at the thought of having her child cared for by Biggie. She almost laughed at that. She had definitely adapted to life at the Sanctuary if she was very happy to put her prospective child in the hands of a Sasquatch. But she knew how tender and gentle he could be, especially to children and she knew she would love having her child know that kind of affection. And why would she refuse him that right and pleasure? At least their kid would be in good hands, safe and well fed.

'Oh, what about me?' Kate asked excitedly.

Sam couldn't help but let the grin on her face widen even more at the young woman's excitement. She really didn't know why they were all asking. Did they really think they would be working for Helen Magnus if she did not trust them completely? And did they really think they would be working for her if she was not willing to let them watch her children? Even the former con-artist had reached the small club of the people Helen Magnus trusted. She had earned that trust. Sam had come to like her a lot and they had become very close friends. And, just as with Biggie, she would be happy to let Kate watch her child. However, she would have to make sure that Kate didn't teach their child how to pick locks or ride bikes. Sam reserved that right for herself.

'And me!' Henry exclaimed as well. Helen chuckled and turned to look at Sam.

'Do you think we will ever get to spend time with our child?' Sam laughed and shook her head.

'Probably not.'

'That's what I thought.'

Will, Biggie, Henry and Kate grinned sheepishly and Sam just knew that whichever child they welcomed in their lives and at the Sanctuary, they would have everyone in the house wrapped around their little finger. And she couldn't have been happier. That way, she knew that there would be people willing to protect the kid at all times. Knowing that some of her and Helen's closest friends would do everything to keep their child safe was heart-warming and comforting.

She turned to look at Helen again, knowing that it made her feel much better as well though she would always worry just that bit more than any other parent because of what her daughter had gone through. Sam extended an arm to grab Helen's hand and squeeze her fingers warmly. It wasn't completely unusual for the two of them but the silent conversation that passed between them was so much more intense than usual. They were going to have a child together. It was going to be loved, cherished and protected by – almost – every being in the building.

Upon walking into Helen Magnus' office, several weeks later, one would think that Sam and Helen were busy working, trying to solve a complicated and possibly life threatening problem. All the doors were closed. Files were spread all over the coffee table. Two cups of tea had been emptied a long time ago but hadn't been moved and were resting on the far side of the table as Helen and her examined the files, pictures, information in front of them. They were sitting side by side on the couch, their shoulders touching when they moved, their hands brushing over the files every now and then.

Sam's eyebrows shot up as her eyes landed on one of the pictures in a file. She leaned forward to grab the file and looked at the names. She turned to look at Helen in question and all she got in response was a wince and a nod. Sam's eyes widened and she set the file on the floor at the foot of the couch.

'Three telepathic teenage kids at once is a little bit too much for me,' Sam commented. Helen chuckled.

'You and me both, darling,' Helen agreed.

They had finally come around to contacting one of the orphanages Helen worked with. They had been more than happy to hear from the Briton, especially as she had not called to have them pick up yet another lost and confused child. When she had told them that she and her partner were thinking of adopting a child, they had seemed startled for a few moments but they had quickly promised to send them some files. When the files had arrived, she had been surprised by the number of abandoned humanoid abnormal children and had felt her heart quench. She had felt Helen's hands rest on her shoulder and a kiss being dropped to the back of her head. Three days later, they had both decided to take an afternoon off to sift through the files to narrow down the choice before they headed to the orphanage to meet the children.

'What about you?' Sam asked after another long stretch of silence. She looked up from the table, her eyes meeting Helen's. 'You've been pretty quiet,' she added, one of her hands settling on Helen's thigh.

'I'm alright. This isn't about me.' Sam frowned and turned to face her as much as she could while they were both sitting on the couch right next to one another.

'What do you mean? Of course this is about you. As much as it is about me.'

'Is it?' No matter how unintentional, the somewhat harsh tone startled Sam. The frown deepened on her face and she backed away a bit, her hand slipping off Helen's leg.

'Of course it is. I'm not the only having a child. And I can't make such a huge decision on my own.'

'You're the one who wanted a child.'

'That's not fair. And that's not true either,' Sam argued. 'I told you, from the very start, that I only want this if you did too.'

'And I told you I would love this child,' Helen shot back. 'No matter what.' Sam sighed as Helen pushed to her feet.

'That's it?'

'What else do you want from me, Samantha?' The brunette snapped, turning around and walking to her desk.

Sam pushed to her feet as well, determined to be on an equal footing with Helen if this fight was to happen. Her eyes were set on the back of the brunette's head, trying to will her to turn back around and look at her instead of standing in front of her desk, facing it.

'I want you to not only do this to make me happy. I need you to want this as much as I do. I need you to want a child because it will make _you_ happy. Otherwise, it doesn't mean anything.'

'Of course it does,' Helen all but yelled, whirling back around to glare at Sam.

'No!' Their eyes were set on one another's and Sam was sure there was as much fire in her eyes as there was in Helen's. 'Because this isn't only about me. And it isn't only about you either. It's about _us_. You, me and our child. And if one of us isn't in it one hundred percent, we're not doing it.'

Helen was about to respond but there was a knock at the door and it was slowly pushed open. Will stepped in though he seemed to hesitate after taking the two of them in. Of course, he was better than most at reading people but such a talent was really not needed at the moment. Sam had no doubt that it was perfectly clear he had just walked into a fight. A fight between two lovers, two strong, stubborn and unrelenting women.

'No,' Sam stated before Will could open his mouth. 'Helen and I are always interrupted. Usually, I don't mind,' she continued, making sure to point out that detail before she turned back around to look at Helen, 'but this is a conversation we need to finish now.'

'We really need you, Magnus,' Will informed.

Sam resisted the urge to roll her eyes. She recognised Will's words as the escape offer that it was. But she couldn't blame him. The situations weren't quite the same but if she walked in on a fight between Jack and Eva, she would try to give Jack an escape too. Helen and her were looking straight at each other. The anger and anguish was clear in the Briton's beautiful blue eyes and Sam had no doubt her lover could see the same feelings in her own eyes. So she truly hoped Helen could see just how much Sam needed them to get this over with. They could not leave things as they were.

'I'm sure you do,' Helen started, her eyes moving to Will over Sam's shoulder, 'but Samantha is right. For the moment, this is more important that anything.' Sam let out a sigh of relief, her eyes closing. She only opened them again when she heard the door close again behind her. They were silent for a few moments, their eyes set on one another's.

'Please,' Sam begged, 'talk to me.'

'There is nothing to talk about. We are going to have a child. And we will love it and give it the family every child deserves.'

'That's not all. Not for you.' She paused. 'Helen, your daughter died,' she murmured.

She kept on looking straight at Helen, feeling her heart clench painfully at the anguish and despair on Helen's beautiful face. She hated to be the one responsible for it but it wasn't something they could ignore forever. Quite on the contrary. She felt bad for having waited so long to mention Ashley. She should have made sure they had a real conversation about Helen's lost daughter as soon as they started truly considering having a child together. And Sam was determined to have that conversation now. She took a step closer to Helen and grabbed one of her hands.

'I know it still kills you every day. I know that. And I understand that. I can't imagine how much it hurts and I will never, _never_,' she repeated, emphasising the word, 'hold that against you. All I am asking is that you don't pretend you're not hurting. Don't pretend that Ashley's death means nothing and doesn't completely change your perspective and feelings about having another child. I can't bear the thought of you doing that just to make me happy when I know it's not true. I don't want a child if it's not going to make you happy as well.'

There was a long moment of silence. Sam worried her bottom lip, holding on tight to Helen's hand, feeling like it was the only thing that could reassure her that she hadn't lost Helen.

'Not Lucy,' Helen suddenly whispered, her lower lip quivering slightly.

'What?'

'She looks too much like Ashley,' Helen explained.

Her voice was much smaller and weaker than Sam was used to. Finally, Sam understood that Helen was talking about one of the children from the orphanage. A young blonde, blue eyed baby girl whom they had considered making their daughter. It wasn't the conversation she had hoped they would have but it was a step in the right direction. Helen was not someone who confided easily, especially when it came to Ashley. Her daughter's disappearance was a painful subject and she very rarely talked about it, even to Sam.

'I can't have a child who looks too much like her. I can't.' Sam nodded. She grabbed Helen's second hand and squeezed her fingers gently.

'Okay,' Sam breathed. 'Not Lucy.'

'I do want a child with you, Samantha. I really do. After Ashley passed, I never thought I would want a child again. Now, I do. But I'm not ready for it.' Sam opened her mouth to tell her that they could wait but Helen quickly moved a hand to press a finger against Sam's lips for just an instant. 'I won't be ready until I see you holding our child. Or until I am holding it. I'll only be ready when I am put on the spot and I let that little person take its place in my heart. Until then I will be frightened and I will want to turn around and run away. You're the only one who can keep me from doing so.' Sam smiled, taking half a step towards Helen and resting her forehead against Helen's.

'I guess that's understandable.'

'I need it to be a young child. I need this child to be ours and to feel like I haven't missed part of our child's life.'

'Good. I want that too.' Sam closed her eyes, sighing as Helen's hands trailed up her arms and rested on her shoulders, gently rubbing them.

'You're scared,' Helen murmured out of the blue.

Sam resisted the urge to deny that assumption though there really wasn't much of a point. Helen knew her far too well for that. And it wouldn't be fair. She couldn't really ask Helen to admit her fears and her pain and not do so herself. She nodded once against Helen's forehead, opening her eyes again and moving away just enough to look into her lover's eyes.

'Terrified. But I want this far too much to let my fears take over. I just need you to be around and support me.'

'Always. But you will be an amazing mother, Samantha.'

'I have no idea what to do.'

'No one does. And you won't know when you hold our baby either. That's a myth. You'll be completely lost and won't know what to do. And so will I. I made mistakes with Ashley and Henry. I'm well aware of that. I don't want to repeat them. We'll do this together.' Sam smiled. She leaned in to claim Helen's lips in a soft kiss. The grinned at each other when they pulled back. 'Shall we go pick our baby?' Helen offered. Sam nodded and they made their way back to the couch, settling down on it. Their legs and elbows were touching and Sam's heart fluttered a bit at the fact that they were sitting closer than before.

'Alright,' Sam breathed, gathering a few of the files and setting them aside. 'All these kids are already speaking and walking.'

Helen nodded, one of her hands coming to rest on Sam's knee, squeezing it once. Sam turned to look at her and they shared a warm smile, leaning in for a gentle kiss. They turned back to look at the files that were still on the table. Helen picked up the one that bore the name Lucy Marshall and added it to the pile of older children. There was an air of regret and pain about her. It was Sam's turn to squeeze her lover's knee in comfort. She understood Helen's pain. Lucy did look a lot like Ashley and it was understandable that Helen did not want to raise their child and see her dead daughter every time she looked at it.

'Only four children left,' Helen commented after a few moments of silence. Sam wrinkled her nose.

'It still feels weird and wrong to choose one child rather than another.' Helen nodded and squeezed Sam's knee again. 'Who do we have?' Helen's hand slipped off her knee and she opened all four files, spreading them out on the coffee table.

'Ten month old Matthew Grey, two and a half month old Maia. No surname. Eight month old and thirteen month old unnamed boys,' Helen introduced, pointing to each of the files in turn. Sam took in the pictures of the babies.

'Maia's eyes are pink,' Sam wondered aloud. Helen smiled.

'Yes. It's her abnormality. She can manipulate her eye colour. She will also have very good eyesight and some members of her species have even been known to see infrared. But, of course, she hasn't learnt to control her eye colour yet so it will change quite often and without warning. And the range of possible colours is much wider for her than for normal human beings and, quite often, children's eye colour depends on their mood.' Sam nodded in understanding and looked at the other children.

'This feels so wrong,' she repeated, looking at the smiling chubby faces. 'They all deserve to have a family.' Helen nodded once more. Her hand moved to cup the back of Sam's neck before she leaned in to press a kiss to her temple.

'They do. And hopefully they will.' Sam nodded. 'Thirteen months is a little too old for my liking,' Helen commented regretfully.

'Okay. What about the other three?' Helen thought for a few moments before looking at Sam.

'Would you care for a trip to the orphanage?'

'Right now?'

'Why not? We still have plenty of time before visiting hours are over.' Sam smiled.

'Okay.' She gathered the remaining files and set them on top of the rest. They had to take them back to the orphanage anyway. As she stood up, something occurred to her. 'Do you think we should let Will, Kate, Henry and Biggie know before we leave?' Helen shook her head and stepped up to Sam, taking the files from her hands.

'No need. We probably won't have the baby tonight. And even if we do, we don't have to ask for anyone's approval.'

Sam nodded and smiled as she leaned in to kiss Helen's cheek.

It had been a very long time since Sam had felt as nervous as she did when Helen parked the car in front of the large old house. She slipped her hand into Helen's as soon as they parked the car. Helen smiled at her comfortingly and squeezed her hand. Sam smiled back before pulling away again. She slid her hands into the pockets of her jacket as she followed Helen into the building, immediately hearing children's laughter and screams.

'Sounds like the right place.' Helen laughed and nodded in agreement. Their eyes moved towards the corridor when an older woman appeared there. She walked up to them, her lips pulling into a smile when her eyes fell on Helen.

'Dr. Magnus!' She exclaimed joyfully.

'Margaret,' Helen greeted back. 'I hope this is alright. Should we have called before coming?'

'No. You know you are always welcome here.' Helen grinned.

'Thank you. But today we are just a couple looking to adopt a child.'

'Of course. I see you have the files. Do you already know which child you would like to welcome into your home?' Helen shook her head.

'No. But we've narrowed the choice down to three babies we would like to meet.'

'Oh. Of course. Come,' she invited as she looked at Sam with a warm and gentle smile. 'You are doctor Magnus' wife?' She asked.

'Ah, we're not married. But yes, I'm her partner.'

The woman raised an amused eyebrow but didn't say anything. She simply ushered Sam down the hallway. They entered the room that was the source of all the laughs and screams. Sam smiled at the sight of the children though she was a bit startled to see that all of them took a moment to take both Helen and her in. One of them waved at Helen. She waved back with a smile. Sam recognised him from one of the files and remembered that Helen had mentioned being the one to find him and bring him to the orphanage.

'Which children did you want to meet?' Margaret asked.

'Matthew Grey,' Helen started, 'Maia and the eight month old unnamed boy.' Margaret nodded and stopped walking. She pointed to a corner of the room.

'The two little boys over there are Matthew and John 3.'

'John 3?' Sam repeated, almost fearing the answer.

'John Doe. As you know, quite a few children are brought to us before they are even named or they are too young to remember their name. Unfortunately, we haven't found anything better than numbers to differentiate unnamed children.'

'Oh, dear God,' Helen breathed, her hand briefly snaking into Sam's to squeeze her fingers.

'Maia is napping but she will probably wake up soon.' They both nodded and made their way over to the two boys.

Sam was the first one to see Maia. She had gone to the bathroom and, on her way back, heard the easily identifiable gurgling and chirping of a baby, coming from a nearby room. She followed the sound and stepped into a large bedroom. Despite the darkness, she could see that the walls were painted in bright and happy colours with child-friendly drawings. There were ten white cribs but only one was occupied. She walked over to it and looked down.

The baby squealed happily, sending Sam a bright toothless grin and extending her arms up as if to try and reach for the new face. Sam felt her heart melt and smiled brightly. She reached into the crib and let the baby grab her finger. Sam's thumb brushed over the soft little hand as the baby kicked merrily. She had kicked her blanket away though one of her little legs was still tangled in it a bit. Sam helped her out with it, gently squeezing the little foot that was encased in a pair of yellow footsie pyjamas. All the while, the baby's tiny hand held on to Sam's fingers.

'Aren't you a cutie?' Sam whispered.

'She is,' Sam heard from behind her. She turned around though she did not move her finger out of the baby's grasp.

'Oh. I'm sorry. I'm not really supposed to be in here, am I?' Margaret smiled and shook her head.

'It's alright, dear. This is Maia so you would have met her anyway.' Sam smiled. 'She seems to like you,' Margaret added.

Sam turned to look at the little girl who had taken to suckling her thumb knuckle. She considered moving her hand as she didn't want Maia to get dirt or germs in her mouth. But then she remembered that she had just washed her hands. Now that her eyes had truly adapted to the darkness, she could see that Maia's eyes were a soothing very dark blue. It was unlike any eye colour she had ever seen. This was definitely the baby they had been looking for.

'She's going to need to be changed soon but you could carry her to the play room to introduce her to your wife.'

'We're not-' she started, stopping when she saw the look on Margaret's face. There would be no changing the old woman's opinion. To her, Sam and Helen were married and that was that. Sam gave a mental shrug. She could live with it. 'I'd like that,' she agreed, reaching down to pick Maia up.

She held the baby close, smiling when the girl's fingers curled in her sweater and she pressed her small face against the side of Sam's neck. She gurgled lightly. Sam knew there would probably be a drool stain on her sweater by the time she put Maia down again but she didn't really care. The child felt tiny in her arms but a wave of comfort and fulfilment overcame her. She turned to brush her lips over the silky soft dark hair on the baby's head.

Sam followed Margaret back to the playroom, still holding the little girl in her arms. Maia squirmed a bit but she seemed overall content in Sam's arms. Sam's eyes immediately met Helen's when she walked back into the room. The brunette's eyes shot up in surprise. She walked over to Sam and a smile pulled at her lips as she gently brushed her fingers over the back of the girl's head.

'You've chosen your baby, haven't you?' Helen whispered.

One of her hands flattened on Maia's back. Sam bit her lip and hesitantly looked up at Helen through her eyelashes. Finally, she nodded and Helen's grin widened. Her hand brushed Sam's arm and back as she moved to stand behind her and take in the baby's face. Maia let out another low squeal. They both laughed, Sam's hand gently rubbing the small back.

'Hello, darling,' Helen cooed.

Sam smiled at that. Helen could say whatever she wanted about Sam having adopted Maia emotionally the instant she saw her, but she was under the same spell. The child had stolen their hearts with just one look. She turned around to face Helen, carefully turning the girl in her arms so that Helen could still look at her. Helen smiled, settling one hand on Sam's arm as she lifted the other to caress Maia's chubby cheek. She looked up at Sam and they shared a long and meaningful look. Finally, they both nodded and smiled and turned to go in search of Margaret.

Sam really hadn't expected to have so little trouble choosing between the three children. She couldn't say she hadn't found the two boys sweet and adorable but they hadn't stolen her heart as quickly as Maia had. And the girl seemed to have taken the same liking to her. She had been happy, chirpy and cuddly with Sam and Helen but she had started wailing and screaming as soon as she had been set back down in a bouncing seat. Margaret had tried calming her down but the girl hadn't stopped crying. The only thing that had calmed her down a little bit had been Sam standing in front of Margaret and leaning in to kiss Maia's wet cheeks. Her heart had torn apart when the baby had started sniffling and crying again when she had stood up to leave.

Without even needing to have an actual conversation, Helen and her filled up the paperwork that would make Maia theirs. Margaret informed them that it would take up to a month for the paperwork to be processed. But they were welcome to come visit the baby whenever they pleased and could even take her out for walks. She even mentioned that she would make sure the paperwork came through quickly for them and that she might just let them take the girl home earlier. She did not want to see Maia so distraught again and she knew that it would happen any time the two of them left their baby to go back to their own home. When she saw the grins on their faces at that idea, Margaret suggested they come back the following week to pick up the baby and bring her home.

Sam stepped out of the building and was about to walk over to their car but Helen grabbed her hand, stopping her and pulling her into a tight hug. Sam laughed and slipped her arms around Helen's back to hold her equally tight. She kissed the side of Helen's neck repeatedly, sighing as one of Helen's hands cupped the back of her head.

'We're getting our baby,' she whispered into Helen's ear, grinning brighter than ever.

'We are,' Helen breathed back.

'Are you okay?'

'Yes.' Sam pulled back just enough to look straight into Helen's eyes before leaning in to kiss her. 'Maia Carter-Magnus,' Helen breathed against Sam's lips as they pulled back. Sam grinned and nodded.

The week until they could bring their baby girl home felt like the longest she had ever lived. They both did go see little Maia. They spent time with her, revelling in her obvious contentment, and even took her out for strolls in a nearby park. But they were busy at the Sanctuary and they couldn't spend nearly as much time with her as they wished. They took some more time to add a few last touches to Maia's room. It was rather neutral as they had not known whether they would have a boy or a girl. The only thing they had known about the child they would adopt was that it would be an abnormal child. They had both agreed on that.

Helen had told Sam often enough about number of parents who abandoned their children once they noticed the slightest abnormality. Most of the time, the children were in their early teens when the abnormality started developing but sometimes, they were born with them. And young and frightened mothers left the child on the steps of a church, in front of a hospital or of an orphanage. There seemed to be an agreement in the whole area that, should a child show any sign of abnormality, it should be brought to the orphanage where they had found Maia – or straight to the Sanctuary. Often, Helen was contacted to assess the health of the child.

They had also agreed on having Maia sleep in their own room for a little while. They wanted to give her time to get used to the new environment and to there always being two women completely dedicated to her. Once they were certain that Maia was fine and that she understood that she would not be left alone again, they would move her to the newly decorated nursery.

The thought had Sam a bit nervous. And it caused her endless teasing from Helen though it was gentle, playful, and understanding. But she wasn't going to deny how she felt about it. After all, Maia seemed to be doing a little bit better and their regular visits seemed to comfort her but she still wasn't happy about being set down. And she made her discontent well known. It always broke Sam's heart and she didn't want to have to put their little girl through that kind of fear and panic once they decided that she was comfortable enough in her new home.

Finally, they brought the little girl back to the Sanctuary. Henry fawned over her immediately and Maia seemed to take a liking to him right away. He grinned up at them as Maia drooled on his shoulder, clearly very happy to be held in the warm and comforting embrace. Sam watched the baby's face when Biggie walked into the room and stepped up to Henry to look at the small face. They all laughed when Maia simply extended a hand and tried to tug at a strand of Biggie's hairs. He let out a laugh that startled her more than the fact that she was face to face with a Sasquatch. Her lip quivered a bit but Helen stepped up to Henry as well and dropped a kiss to Maia's cheek quickly enough to comfort her before she even started crying.

Sam smiled at the sight of the small family. Maia, her big brother, Henry, and their mum, Helen. They were unbelievably cute. And she couldn't believe she had somehow found her way into this family. She watched as Helen grabbed the little girl again and held her close, quietly whispering in her ear. All three of them smiled when Maia let out a happy squeal as if she had understood whatever Helen had told her.

'You three are just too cute for words,' Henry commented, leaning in to kiss Maia's cheek and caress the back of her head once before he made his way out of the room. Sam laughed as she saw the look on Helen's face.

'I'm not cute,' she argued which only made Sam laugh harder – which made Maia squeal again.

'Yes, you are, actually.'

'I'm the head of the Sanctuary network. I'm not supposed to be cute.'

'Well, you're not when you're working. But right now and when you're just Helen, you are.' Helen wrinkled her nose and kissed Maia's cheek.

'I think we're going to have to explain to your mother and brother that you're the one who's cute,' she whispered into the baby's ear though loud enough that Sam could hear. 'What do you think, darling?' Sam smiled and shook her head.

'That so isn't helping your case.' Helen dramatically rolled her eyes at Sam and turned to walk out of the room, still whispering in their baby's ear.

Several hours later, they were both lying in bed, facing the back of the room, their eyes set on the small crib they had set there. They couldn't actually see the child that was sleeping in it but just knowing that the girl was there made them both feel better. Sam's front was pressed against Helen's back, one arm around her waist. Her head was resting on her fisted hand and her elbow was resting on Helen's pillow. Every now and then, she dropped a kiss to Helen's shoulder, using the pretence of kissing her neck to rest her arm a little bit. It was starting to hurt a bit but she refused to stop looking at the tiny bed.

'Our baby,' she whispered against Helen's skin. She didn't need to see Helen's face to know she was grinning brightly.

'Our baby,' Helen repeated. 'Our tiny little Maia Carter-Magnus.'

Sam smiled and kissed Helen's shoulder again, letting the tiny snore coming from the crib wash over her. Life was good. So very good.


End file.
